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is getting over herself
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Well, it's certainly irrational, so that does leave a lot of room for silliness. I still don't meet new people easily.
 

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I've grown accustomed to most of my what I call quirks!

And unless my life depends on it or it is really, really important to me, I can even laugh about many. Well..., maybe not right in that moment, but often when looking back at certain situations.

I found it relieving making peace with many things I can absolutely not change, along with SA. Which doesn't mean that I quit working on myself, but it's less pressure that way!

Who knows? Maybe your guest was even glad, that you didn't come out! He might have certain anxieties also!
 

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I find this so amazing. Yesterday a co-worker of my husbands dropped by our house for a quick visit and I was too afraid to go outside to say hi.

Isn't this just amazing that at this age (I'm in my early 50's) this is still a problem. Meeting a new person.

There is almost a silliness to this whole disorder.
Doesn't surprise me. I'm the same way. When I'm home by myself, I won't answer the door. It's not because I don't like my neighbors; it's more that I don't trust myself to 'say the right thing.' I'm afraid of looking/sounding stupid.
 

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I don't answer the door either. Sometimes, I don't even answer phone calls!

I think the older you get the sillier it seems because other people tolerate it less. SA -- or let's just call it "shyness" or "self-consciousness" because that's how most people will perceive it -- is charming in a child, expected in a teen and understandable in someone in their 20s. But once people are in their 30s and beyond, they're usually expected to have grown out of any social awkwardness, or to be able to hide it. If they haven't, other people will be less likely to put the behaviour down to shyness than to weirdness and/or immaturity.
 

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Unfortunately I find it gets worse as I age along with my other psychological issues. That is why I am determined to work on it.

When I look around at people and relatives I know-I see the same thing with their issues getting worse. I've seen family members turn into hoarders, a friend who used to go out now hardly ever leaves the house after he gets home from work bc he is afraid, another is more and more afraid of crowds, etc.

So-it is my opinion that if we don't work on these issues then they build upon themselves.

For instance I have a paranoia of being attacked, raped and possibly killed. I have started carrying a knife with me more and more (as if that will help). Any little noise I sit up in bed and may check all the rooms.

And the most recent-on a road trip a friend wanted to stop at this roadside store that was this stand alone warehouse building. We were in an unfamiliar town and I thought it looked creepy-so I said okay but let me take my knife in case. She was like, "It's just a store. It will be okay."

Thinking back on this-I see how ridiculous it was, but it is this fear that drives me and seems to be getting worse. (maybe too many horror movies as a kid and the women in my family taught me to be cognizant of this)
 

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sa challenger
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I don't answer the door either. Sometimes, I don't even answer phone calls!

I think the older you get the sillier it seems because other people tolerate it less. SA -- or let's just call it "shyness" or "self-consciousness" because that's how most people will perceive it -- is charming in a child, expected in a teen and understandable in someone in their 20s. But once people are in their 30s and beyond, they're usually expected to have grown out of any social awkwardness, or to be able to hide it. If they haven't, other people will be less likely to put the behaviour down to shyness than to weirdness and/or immaturity.
Yes, if I were younger I'd be perceived as cute, coy, sweet. It's just weird to act the way I do now.
 

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Yes, if I were younger I'd be perceived as cute, coy, sweet. It's just weird to act the way I do now.
I feel the same way. There are perks to being in my thirties, but there are times when I miss being a child (or my late teens/early twenties) when my shyness/anxiety was considered to be more cute or acceptable. I miss feeling more optimistic/hopeful, and more relaxed, since I had time to take care of things, and they were sure to work out (until I kept the avoidance up...). Now I feel like the light at the other end of the tunnel is a train... I really need to improve my attitude again. :roll
 

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and I thought I was the only one in my late 40's who has social anxiety (self conciousness, a bit of a paranoia of thinking "what if I act nervous, self consciousness around this person, what will they think," and then I behave that very way)..I don't know why it seemed to get worse with me as I aged...maybe it's because the older we get, we start thinking more and more about strange things happening to us..we think deeper in a sense...I'm always praying to God to help me with my fears,because I just don't know what to do anymore as far as not feeling socially anxious, self concious, etc..but He is not taking it away...I guess I'm so desparate, that I'll try Anything to help myself with my anxieties...
 

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Just me being me
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Hi everyone:\
I'm new here. Just wanted to introduce myself as part of the over 40 crowd here. It's certainly a different thing when you've dealt with SA all your life as opposed to being younger. For me, after a couple of years of great grief realizing so much of life and opportunities had passed unfulfilled, I'm now in a place of accepting and working with the SA instead of against it. For instance I look for work in environments that I'm less anxious in rather than pressuring myself to get the job I'm most qualified for. Additionally, especially at work, I accept that other people may not see me as I know I am which is an intelligent, very capable and confident person. They, may think of me as withdrawn, lacking in confidence and unassertive. But I choose not to make myself sick and depressed anymore because this. It takes a lot to swallow pride and ego but I find that the more I'm able to, the less I beat myself up and wallow in the sewer of self-loathing and depression.

I'd like to know how everyone else is coping or dealing with SA at this later stage in life?
 

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Just me being me
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Klonopin is supposed to be one of the best prescrips for social anxiety. Glad it's working for you. I used to take it myself years ago. Whatever works, right?
 

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I don't answer the door either. Sometimes, I don't even answer phone calls!

I think the older you get the sillier it seems because other people tolerate it less. SA -- or let's just call it "shyness" or "self-consciousness" because that's how most people will perceive it -- is charming in a child, expected in a teen and understandable in someone in their 20s. But once people are in their 30s and beyond, they're usually expected to have grown out of any social awkwardness, or to be able to hide it. If they haven't, other people will be less likely to put the behaviour down to shyness than to weirdness and/or immaturity.
Yes. When you're older people see it as a "character flaw". Of course, this adds to the anxiety :mum
 

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Just me being me
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I agree. People do see it as a character flaw. I think they see it as a weakness. SA does often make me feel quite silly and childish or adolescent.
 

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Klonopin is supposed to be one of the best prescrips for social anxiety. Glad it's working for you. I used to take it myself years ago. Whatever works, right?
Yes indeed. I refuse feel scared all day at work when I have meds I can use
 

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Has anyone stopped taking the Klonopin? Just curious. I have been on it for many years. I have wondered if i stop taking it will things seem more intense or 10x's worst:doh
 

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Has anyone stopped taking the Klonopin? Just curious. I have been on it for many years. I have wondered if i stop taking it will things seem more intense or 10x's worst:doh
I stopped it for awhile one time, when I didnt need it so much. It lessened the depression. Since I work fulltime I need it now.
 

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Just me being me
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Why don't you talk to your doctor about weaning you off a little at a time if you'd like to go off. As a general rule is not a good idea to stop any of the mind altering drugs abruptly.
 
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