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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is my first post that I've written in years (on any forum, anywhere). It's been less than a week since I seriously considered reaching out to a supportive community. I...do not know if this is the right one.

I don't want my first post to suffer from a case of tl;dr, so a few relevant points here:
I suffer from avoidant personality disorder and a bad case of conventionally unattractive. The two like to feed off of each other...It's great! Meeting new people has never been more impossible ¬_¬.

I am a socially retarded second year fine arts student. Every summer I work my *** off to pay for tuition, and I still live with my parental units at 29.

My close friend ended our relationship last week, at the dawn of our 6th year, so I am bleak and messed up about that. I am a majorly malfunctioning insignificant bit of carbon.

Hi
 

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Hi Octoloki and fellow Canadian!

So sorry to hear about your relationship break up. I can sure understand how you would feel bleak and messed up right now, but finding your way here is such a positive thing to do for yourself.

I'm fairly new here myself, but am so glad I joined. I am finding it quite helpful and certainly friendly and supportive.

Welcome,

Kizzie
 

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Hi, Octoloki!

Sorry you lost your friend. Must have been a very hard moment. :| But try not to be too harsh on yourself. It doesn't mean you are worthless. People can make unpredictable choices based on their own difficulties, or simply drift away. It is very hard(and a bit unrealistic) to try to keep a friendship for a life time. People are entering and exiting our lives every day, one way or another, for as long as we live. The fact we get more attached to some, doesn't mean they will always be part of our lives. They have to follow their own destiny and live their lives as they want to. They are free to make their choices. Good or bad, time will tell. It doesn't mean that we are ''bad'' just because they are leaving.

I understand it must feel very frustrating to live with your parents and struggle, but the unfortunate circumstances do not make you worthless. They are unpleasant, but not horrible or unbearable. There are far worse things that could happen to you and this current situation will no longer seem as bad as it seems now. Your mind makes you feel that way. All the the irrational beliefs. If you accept something is horrible, a catastrophy, then it's like you are dismissing the idea that there is any alternative or solution to that problem. But there is always a solution, an alternative. We just can't see it because we are telling ourselves there is none. Or because we do not want to deal with the consequences of picking that alternative.

I see that you are perceiving yourself as unattractive. It may be so or not. People are usually a lot harsher with them than most people would ever be. Even assuming you are not attractive, there are plenty of people that are not attractive and still have friends, girlfriends/wives and are enjoying their lives. That's precisely because it is not all about looks. Some are doing very well on other areas: intelligence, personality, being funny and so on. The difference between you and those guys is that they have taken their chances and accepted the idea of being rejected a few times till they will find someone that will say yes. You haven't done all that because of your AvPD. So working on that one and keep challenging yourself is the way you should follow if you wan't to offer yourself a chance.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks, Kizzie. So far today my support has been (mostly) a half bag of milk chocolate Chipits >_>
 

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Welcome, Octoloki! :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Hi, Octoloki!

Sorry you lost your friend. Must have been a very hard moment. :| But try not to be too harsh on yourself. It doesn't mean you are worthless. People can make unpredictable choices based on their own difficulties, or simply drift away. It is very hard(and a bit unrealistic) to try to keep a friendship for a life time. People are entering and exiting our lives every day, one way or another, for as long as we live. The fact we get more attached to some, doesn't mean they will always be part of our lives. They have to follow their own destiny and live their lives as they want to. They are free to make their choices. Good or bad, time will tell. It doesn't mean that we are ''bad'' just because they are leaving.

I understand it must feel very frustrating to live with your parents and struggle, but the unfortunate circumstances do not make you worthless. They are unpleasant, but not horrible or unbearable. There are far worse things that could happen to you and this current situation will no longer seem as bad as it seems now. Your mind makes you feel that way. All the the irrational beliefs. If you accept something is horrible, a catastrophy, then it's like you are dismissing the idea that there is any alternative or solution to that problem. But there is always a solution, an alternative. We just can't see it because we are telling ourselves there is none. Or because we do not want to deal with the consequences of picking that alternative.

I see that you are perceiving yourself as unattractive. It may be so or not. People are usually a lot harsher with them than most people would ever be. Even assuming you are not attractive, there are plenty of people that are not attractive and still have friends, girlfriends/wives and are enjoying their lives. That's precisely because it is not all about looks. Some are doing very well on other areas: intelligence, personality, being funny and so on. The difference between you and those guys is that they have taken their chances and accepted the idea of being rejected a few times till they will find someone that will say yes. You haven't done all that because of your AvPD. So working on that one and keep challenging yourself is the way you should follow if you wan't to offer yourself a chance.
And thank you, Sadvlad, for your good advice. The details of its ending are long and complicated, but what you say is still valid. This calls for a *tip of the hat*
 
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