[SunLite]

Yesterday I went to the mall to meet these two guys to help me out with my anxiety. First time I've ever met them. These guys are so cool and suave. They can go up and start a conversation with ANYONE. We talked for about 45 minutes about where I was and then they totally reframed some of my beliefs about approaching people. I no longer feel anxiety but rather excitement like in a championship basketball game.

Anyways the mall was getting close to closing so they started saying hi to people and made me join in then do some by myself. I totally bombed it and they supported me because there is no failure only feedback. Went to McDonalds where I saw Joe start another convo with the register gurl and then another one with a gurl cleaning. Great stuff. Now we are gonna met every wednesday and do **** and they gave me missions I gotta do everyday. Oh I'm so excited just writing this. Today I gotta do 5 good approaches with an opinion opener bad ones don't count. Then tommorow I got to do 5 more approaches asking Are you single?

I am so happy right now. Sa is definitley curable and I know this is going to do that. My senior year in high school is going to be so awesome =).

 

[senorsteve]

all i have to say to that is,
**** yeah!

 

[millenniumman75]

SunLite,

Keep us posted on some of the things that you do. I, along with many others, am interested in how your type of therapy works. So far, you are doing well!

Way to go!

 

[NervousNellie]

How did you meet these guys?

 

[SunLite]

Seduction site. Theres a thing called Pair on there to find wings and stuff. I messaged the guys that lived right by me talked to um on aim a bit and then bam we met. They were not naturals with the ladies and had to go through a lot of work so they know exactly what I should do and what materials to read to help me get better.

Yesterday wasnt able to do my mission however i walked around the mall for about an hour and a half just saying hi to people. They all didnt go to well but that is only feedback not failure. Tried doing the thing on aim to a couple people and it worked VERY well. So its the way I say it or whatever that needs to be improved like eye contact volume tonality and body language.

I'm trying to stay as busy as I can. Like I felt no depression whatsoever yesterday cuz I was always active. Didnt even play the xbox and only went on the computer to write my journal for the guys and to try out that stuff on aim.

Life is good =)

 

[Gerard]

That is so cool! Cool friends you've have!

 

[shadowplay]

Awesome, definitely keep it up! Being at ease and confident with the ladies is a game that can certainly be learned. It's just one my dad never taught me :con It comes easier to some but practice can get you where you want to be.

I practice by chatting with women I'm not really attracted to just to get my feet wet so I'm not a wreck around girls that get my heart aflutter. Women are people too and often even more insecure than guys.

 

[SunLite]

Yea it is. I feel like I'm on MTVs Made and Joe and Mike are my two personal trainers :lol Hopefully Ill be made into a socially confident dude who can easily pick up chicks before school starts.

 

[SunLite]

(Update) Okay we met yesterday at 7pm at the mall. Spent about two hours there and I opened about 7-8 sets. The first one was money. I had these two chicas and they were laughing their *** off especially this cute blonde (20ish). Um the blonde in ambercrombie also responded VERY well to me laughing and all that (18-19?) Haha I even went to like this prom store and opened the gurl cleaning there though it didn't go as well as I'd hope. All the other ones including that one were very neutral until Joe came in and bailed me out. My volume needs to be improved upon. I need to fluxuate my voice instead of staying monotone. And I need to have more things to say so I don't stall and bail.

Overall it went pretty good. We went to the bookstore after and they opened up about 2 sets there. The bookstore was pretty dead. So after we sat outside and discussed my goals for the week. Got to do 15 approaches before we meet again next thursday. And umm yah it was a blast. I tried using this thing called EFT on me and it reduced my anxiety A TON so it was a lot easier to approach then before.

 

[millenniumman75]

SunLite,

Good for you! You might need to explain what sets are; I don't quite understand.

Thanks!

 

[sadpanda]

what's eft?

man, that sounds scary heheh... but i guess it would give you a lot of confidence, especially having someone there to bail you out without totally embarassing yourself... did they give you any tips on dealing with down feelings about the ones that didn't go so well? i have a problem with that, i dwell on the bad things and forget all the good things...

 

[SunLite]

EFT is Emotional Freedom Therapy. http://www.emofree.com It has been known to cure phobias in minutes. I've been going to a therapist for a bit and that really hasnt been working out so i was like hmmmm....the therapists are just like going by their own book and following it despite it producing results or not. So I looked for my own anwsers. EFT NLP and Hypnosis have been known to have life changing results like curing phobias in the matter of one session. EFT seemed the easiest to do to myself sooo......I tried it. It helped my anxiety a ton. Read up on it and decide for yourself.

How to stay positive when sets don't go well. I create pictures in my mind all the time that sets will go well so it will eventually just be my reality. What is really reality? Our own unique perceptions I would say. Even when a set goes neutral or not positive it still is experience and I know I am that much closer to being this really cool social dude. Its all about your mindset you are either positive or negative. Joe totally reframed my negative mindset and now I have a positive one. Cuz when u approach with a negative mind set it really is no fun. You gotta be positive about it.

 

[Sweetangel]

wow that is so great!
i'm reading all you're saying, creating pictures that it'll go positive- i think thats a great way-its THE way for success, i'm sure you will be a cool social dude by the time school starts- you already are pretty much.
keep posting i'm learning a lot from u. i'm also tryin to become more social.

 

[SunLite]

Oh milleniumman sets are like when u approach a single girl or a group. Each interaction is considered a set. Its kinda like weight lifting the more "sets" you do the better you get at it.

 

[One on One]

Wow I have heard of Pair. Are they really supportive? That's something I'd like to try.

 

[SunLite]

These two guys are. Of course I wouldn't want to generalize for every single person on there but I just like contacted them and then chatted online a bit telling about my situation and ya they were helpful. When you have a choice between action and no action.....always choose action.... same for doing something or not doing something.......just always do it. You never regret the things you do even if they turn out really bad. But if you don't do something it can eat you alive. Plus doing stuff all the time makes you a more interesting person.

 

[SunLite]

Oh no there are a whole bunch of techniques you can use that are out there. NLP which is neurolinguistic programming, you can use that to make your bad memories not seem bad at all. I'll type it up a little later today so you can do it on yourself. EFT can get rid of your anxiety. Its also been said that it takes a month of affirmations before you start actually believing them. There are things you can do to get better but even if u do these action is key

 

[SunLite]

(Update) Meet with um today. The mall was dead. Only ran about 4 sets the whole two hours we were there. Umm got half a number close?????Gave mine to a chick. Mmmm I gotta go everyday. Get that social experience. Went into an all gurly store asked if one of the gurls was single. She said no went to lord and taylor where there was nothing then we like passed that store again and these gurlies came out and were like mmmm actually she is single. Need more practice. It was fun I guess. They had to push me a bit I didnt like that. I want to be able to just go and bam lol. Anyways gotta do at least 10 more approaches. Im gonna force myself to go out everyday and break that number so I can get this **** down sooner.

 

[One on One]

Your doing good, Sunlite, keep it up!

 

[SunLite]

Your mind cannot distinguish the difference between your thoughts and actual experiences. Therefore positive thinking does help because to your brain its you actually experiencing it.

Take your negative memories do this. Take one and pretend like your watching a movie. Make this picture really small dull and black and white. Then play this memory on the tiny screen. Do it again and again. Do it until u can repeat it about every second. Do it without emotion if you do have emotion during this it wont work. Pretend like your looking at it from the side of your eyes if it isnt working out. With time that bad memory will not have as much impact.

(Update) Met up with just Mike today. Approach anxiety has definitley faded a ton. Don't get me wrong its still there but reduced a **** load few weeks ago I could just barely say hi. Now I'm approaching with little resistance.

Gave me this game to play to improve my socializing. What happens is u pick an object or something then make a story into it that relates to your life. Do it for a minute and make it interesting. That way whenever that thing pops up you have something qued up in your head to talk about.

Still got a long *** way to go though for cold approach. I think that i am conversating with the people i know better. Cold approach still sux get positive reactions but cant take it anywhere. Im guessing its cuz i got it scripted rather than natural game. Oh well.