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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi! :)
I am a 28year old male and need some help.
While I was at school I was pretty much ignore in my English class when it was discovered that I had serve dyslexia. I then spent two years at college studying I.T and did incredibly well except for in the English classes where the same thing happened once again.
I have been taking adult English classes for a year now at a local college. While my spelling has improved greatly, my grammar is still, some what, lacking.
I have decided to use this use new confidence and get a new job. I am filling out an application form and need some help on the "tell us about yourself" section. Well more the grammar part. I know its missing punctuation and has grammar issues :(
Would any one be willing to give it a once over and copy and paste it WITh the correcti punctuation/reworded a little so it sounds grammatically correct. I'd Really appreciate ANY help you can give. Thank you :)

EDIT: I have had to reedit it as unfortunatly theres too many characters! Here is what i now have..

"
I am originally from Bridgwater, Somerset and have recently relocated from Surrey back to Bridgwater.
I'm an enthusiastic, patient and reliable person with several years of experience in customer service. I attended Bridgwater college after leaving school where I studied I.T at for two years, gaining a distinction in 'I.C.T' and 'First level Diploma in I.T Practitioners', along with several awards for the high standard of my coursework.
I also volunteer for the British Heart Foundation and in the past, a number of Animal charities in Surrey and Epsom.
I enjoy: nature photography (which is closely attached to my hobby of hiking), working with computer hardware, volunteering any spare time I have for the British Heart Foundation and I also have a very keen interest in learning about the production and development of films and stage productions which has led to being involved in the production of several 'YouTube' web series."

P.s This goes out to the very few of you who come on to troll or just be nasty in general. While i know my grammar is poor I am attempting to improve on it. While i appreciate help I am not asking for a full of lesson in Grammar or to have my comment ripped apart from grammar Nazis. Thank you.:) - Adam Knox.
 

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!
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Hey Adam! I read through your text and for the most part the grammar was good, but I made a few changes and corrections (bolded) that in my opinion improve the text.

I hope this is of some help!

"I am originally from Bridgwater, Somerset and have recently relocated from Surrey back to Bridgwater.
I'm an enthusiastic, patient and reliable person with several years of experience in customer service. I studied I.T at college for two years, gaining a distinction in both ICT and First level Diploma in I.T Practitioners, along with several awards for the high standard of my coursework. After leaving college in 2005, I gained employment with ASDA as a night time replenishment operator. While I greatly enjoyed my time at ASDA, in 2006 I started to have health issues which were affecting my ability to give a 100% to the job, and felt it would be best to resign and focus on regaining my health. [NOTE TO SAS users: I had to put this as i am applying to ASDA.. and felt it was best to be honest]
I spent the next few years improving my skill base while(whilst?) my health improved. I relocated to Surrey where I gained employment with RJH Sports, a small sport retail outlet which unfortunately went into administration in April of 2013. Since then I have been volunteering while(whilst?) actively looking for full time employment.

Outside of work I enjoy: nature photography (which is closely attached to my hobby of hiking), building, working on computers for friends and family, volunteering for a few charities as often as I can and I also have a very keen interest in learning about the production and development of films and stage productions. "
 

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uggla
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It only needs a few minor corrections as far as I can see. But... I better let someone else do it since English isn't my main language.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hey Adam! I read through your text and for the most part the grammar was good, but I made a few changes and corrections (bolded) that in my opinion improve the text.

I hope this is of some help!
Thank you so SO much for this and for not ripping me apart! I only wish I had a way to repay for this. If you ever need I.T advice.. I'm your man :)
I posted this on another forum earlier today and got ripped apart and basically told i was (I hate this word) "retarded" and should forget life. -_- Being told this for most of my school years was one of the reasons i waited so long to get help in improving my skills after leaving school as i thought i was just.. well, stupid. Thanks matey :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Have you ever read a book on grammar? It could be immensely helpful. Really it's just following rules, like a complicated trading card game.
I have tried but while i can read, I struggle with taking in the information. This is why i struggled at school as they pretty much just gave us books to read. Lol I do like your link between grammar and the rules of a complicated card game! While i am only on my third class i see where that came from :)
 
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