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So I'm about to graduate high school... which is great and all, but there's a lot of negatives that come with it for people like us.

It means I have to go to a bunch of graduation parties. I'm not having one and it sucks to explain that to people. I just say "I'll go to everyone else's! I don't need one," but the real reason is because the focus would be solely on me, and that would really bother me. I'm not even dreading these parties as much as I thought I would-- which is odd, because most of my SA stems from large gatherings-- but it's probably because you mostly just sit around and talk. I figure I can do that, and hell, I might even try to enjoy myself (imagine that). Still, it's a grind for me, knowing I have about five of these graduation parties to attend in the next couple of weeks, and I just hate having to "put my mask on" for people I know from school. I don't like large gatherings because I can't be myself, and because I'm always convinced that I'm being watched at all times.

The actual graduation will be OK, but I'm a little anxious about it still. I'm fine walking across the stage and all, but afterward, when everyone else is embracing their close circle of friends, I'll probably walk around cracking jokes to my semi-friends, because I have nobody to really talk to.

And then after that, it's the after-graduation party. Screw it, I've decided I'm going to it. It will be the last time I ever see 99 percent of the graduating class, and then I'll never have to deal with any of that again. I don't really go to any school dances, and didn't go to prom, so I don't really know what I'll do. Who cares. I'll walk around, make a fool of myself for a couple hours and duck home early. Then it will all be over with.
 

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dude, I know what u mean. I'm in eighth grade, but my school still makes a big deal about graduation. We graduate, have a big dinner and then a dance. I don't know what I'll do at the dance, there are some girls I want to dance with, but I've never really talked to them so i dont really know what they'll say or think. But like you, I'm just gonna enjoy myself. If I can go out and enjoy myself and who cares what people think!
We can both enjoy ourselves cause chances are people will take a sudden change from quiet and shy to outgoing and fun well, even if it is a bit creepy.
 

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Graduation

hey dude, im from england so im not really clued up on the whole graduation thing, but one thing i would advise is that you go along and don't think about it. go on autopilot if you have to, and take back the controls when you are ready... i believe in you!!!!!!!!! but you need to cut the cycle... you may feel your being watched, but 9 times out of 10 the rest of the world couln't care less about what you are doing!!!(in a nice sense of the phrase) honestly i think we all suffer from social anxiety, but just like nerves use it to help yourself... take all your fear and convert it to confidence. I did it, so can you... before i wouldn't have considered going away for a week alone to camp and not knowing anyone and i mean NO ONE, but ya know what, in the end i made some cool friends who i talk to almost everyday, embrace these opps, although they are difficult this is what makes you a stronger person...

PS: you don't have to take this all in, just think about it...
 
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