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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Yeah, i may have cheated using xanax throughout the whole process, but im rather happy that i was able to overcome my extreme phobia about approaching girls.

Last week i went out and approached 7 random girls. 5 of them i asked for thier phone numbers. 4 of them said yes. 2 of them agreed to go on dates with me this week and seem very interested in me.

Because of doing all of this, my self confidence has gone up quite a bit. I actually think that its possible that girls find me attractive and actually glance my way beacuse they think im good looking and not a freak.

Also ive been lifting weights for 2 months, without quitting. I've lost 10 pounds of fat and my upper body is pretty well shaped now.

Both of these are really big steps in overcoming my anxiety once and for all and im so much happier than i was a few weeks ago.
 

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Wow your quite the stud. Good for you! :banana
 

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that is great man, i would like to say congrats on finally overcoming the battle on most parts of sa, and i would like to say i am becoming more like that also, i started school the other day, and i am talking and meeting lots of people, and i just meet this amazing girl from this site here, so we will see what transpires
 

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That's awesome dude! Did you just go up and ask for a phone number or how did you approach them??

Also, I live in San Diego so if you are in OC maybe we can meet up
 

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Out of my mind.
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
One on One said:
That's awesome dude! Did you just go up and ask for a phone number or how did you approach them??

Also, I live in San Diego so if you are in OC maybe we can meet up and pick up girls together :)...teach me a few things maybe
Orange county NEW YORK hehe, but if we lived closer of course.

How did i approach them? Well I had a generic line preplaned for most of them. "Hey there, i noticed you when i [walked in/was sitting/was buying/whatever] and i thought to myself id really regret it if i didn't meet you .... my name is ______ *hand shake*"

but a few of them I just used situational things like ... one girl was sitting on the floor alone waiting for her class to start and I just went up to her and said so why are you sitting on the floor !

I'm rather nervous about my dates tonight and tomorrow but after i take a xanax most of that will go away i hope lol.

Thanks everybody for your support. I'm far from a stud but I have a decent body now and some confidence, goes a long way.
 

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Out of my mind.
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
blah,

so first date the girl was extremely b-itchy and expected me to listen to her boring stories about her cousin and some other such nonsense

second one, i ran into the girl the day before and I asked if we were still on and she came up with some lame excuse ... i told her "don't worry about it, its your loss" and laughed, but honestly im pretty disappointed

I guess im just feeling the unfairness of the whole sexual roles by gender. Males have to do all the work, face all the rejection, and learn all these special rules and games that women go by. Females just have to look pretty and go with the flow.

I'm not going to give up, but definintely feeling a little down that all of my effort amounted to nothing here. I'm sure my social anxiety plays a huge part in the reason why girls always flake on me ... sorry i can't be a super confident suave dude they expect or something.
 

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Mintyfresh said:
second one, i ran into the girl the day before and I asked if we were still on and she came up with some lame excuse ... i told her "don't worry about it, its your loss" and laughed, but honestly im pretty disappointed
Mintyfresh,

How do you know this was a lame excuse? It may have been legitimate. You tried to read her mind! Be careful of doing that.

Also, I wanted to make sure to let you know that when you do enter a relationship, you will want your girlfriend to like you for who you are, not what you can portray. Acts want last long.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks for trying to be positive about the situation millenniumman, but it was blatently obvious she was making it up on the spot. Plus we made plans days ago, so for her to break it was just her letting me know she wasn't that interested.

Eh, women as a whole don't like shy men. Nature intended males to be the dominent ones, so if i have to fake confidence to socilaize with the opposite sex im there ...
 

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second one, i ran into the girl the day before and I asked if we were still on and she came up with some lame excuse ... i told her "don't worry about it, its your loss" and laughed
That's impressive. Kudos for that.......
 

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dude, you are well on your way to overcoming any SA problems with women. you already know that they'll submit based on your looks, which is 90% of it. the rest is making sure you don't lose the potential mating that they want from you. All that is now needed is to stay positive and act happy and confident for the initial dating periods.
 

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shwin said:
Mintyfresh said:
Thanks for trying to be positive about the situation millenniumman, but it was blatently obvious she was making it up on the spot. Plus we made plans days ago, so for her to break it was just her letting me know she wasn't that interested.

Eh, women as a whole don't like shy men. Nature intended males to be the dominent ones, so if i have to fake confidence to socilaize with the opposite sex im there ...
You have to realize that faking confidence is done by a lot of people. This is not just a way only for SA'ers.
But in doing so, my therapist told me, you become more confident over time. When other people see that confidence, they react in a positive way. This in turn gets our self esteem up. Because we are critical of ourselves and fearful of others opinions of us... this is a good way to build confidence.
In short, FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT
 

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Mintyfresh said:
I guess im just feeling the unfairness of the whole sexual roles by gender. Males have to do all the work, face all the rejection, and learn all these special rules and games that women go by. Females just have to look pretty and go with the flow.
no disrespect but i dont totally agree with this statement. most girls kind of like teh guy make the moves but in viewing how my friends have treated their gfs at times, lots of girls do go through a bunch of bull****. of course thats after they establish a relationship.
 

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Wow...the fact that you got four phone numbers and two potential dates(even though one cancelled) is amazing. In my experience (as a girl), it's usually kinda "scary" or nerve-wracking accepting a date from a total stranger. Though, this is coming from a chick with SA. :lol Anyway, I still thinks that's pretty amazing. That one girl that backed out might have just thought about it and got anxious about going out with someone she only met once. Who knows. I wouldn't take that personally. If you could do it once, I'm sure you'll eventually meet someone that you'll hit it off with completely. Good luck.
 
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