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At first I found the high amount of stunning men and women on here phenomenal, who then say they've never had sexual interaction with the gender they like. But would you agree it's a double edged sword - I mean, you naturally are more likely to get 'opportunities', but if none of them are taken you would feel a lot more regret. At least 'ugly' people can look back at lack of romantic relationships and say "oh well, while my shyness has held me back in life, I can't do anything about the cards I'm dealt!"
 

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I'm a Spartan.
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I dont really understand what your saying? Are you saying the good looking me are not seeing the opportunities?
 

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Dancing on my own
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I'm in no way titling myself as "good-looking", but I'm actually glad I didn't take those opportunities because it would've been something I regret doing now.
 

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banana enthusiast
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I don't know, I'd much rather have opportunities that get blown. It may make one feel regret, but at least one can be somewhat confident that one will get other opportunities in the future considering that they happened in the past. Not having had any opportunities sucks hard, because I can't even look forward to the 'next time' because it probably won't exist. I don't even think I'm bad looking, but I've never had opportunities.
 

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Cynical Idealist
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I guess I'd agree about it being a double-edged sword.

An attractive person might have more opportunities for a relationship, but might feel worse about it because they're failing despite their looks ("my personality must be so horrible!"). However, they still get the opportunities.

A less attractive person might not have to worry about failure as much, and might not suffer from as much disappointment or unwanted attention, but they might also feel like they have no hope at all.

I don't think either one has it better or worse, just different.
 

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serious
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It's all relative.
Everyone veiews themselves differently.
I think I'm ugly. My flatmate put my pic on or hot or not without telling me. I got 8/10.
I still think I'm ugly.
I think worthwhile people will see past physical looks. Good personality and heart makes up for a lot.

Its usually people with some mental issue, of negative self worth, that will have trouble with relationships, ie people who think they are ugly.
Regardless of if they are or not.
If you look around, you'll see as many ugly people in relationships as everyone else. To me, only shallow people care about that kind of thing, and I don't think it's over prevalent in general society, only certain circles.. Or people with some mental glitch.

Confidence / self confidence is the key, regardless of your looks.
 

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I would consider myself decent looking, but it wasn't until I improved my social skills when I gained more opportunities. When I was in my mental slump, my opportunities were little to none.
 

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Fabulously Awkward
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I would consider myself decent looking, but it wasn't until I improved my social skills when I gained more opportunities. When I was in my mental slump, my opportunities were little to none.
This.
And you should have seen how I looked 5 years ago ... even 2 years ago. I took zero care of myself. :puke

If I were a guy, I wouldn't have touched that with a hazmat suit on.
 

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Out there...
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I guess I'd agree about it being a double-edged sword.

An attractive person might have more opportunities for a relationship, but might feel worse about it because they're failing despite their looks ("my personality must be so horrible!").
Pretty much that. Nothing like the great feeling of thinking you can capitalize only to wind up with the even greater feeling of being ignored in favor of someone else. So much for looking nice. But I'm aware there's more at stake though.

However, they still get the opportunities.
The chances may still be there to go up and talk to someone, but as far as opportunities in the sense that the people come up to you to give you one (whether I blow it or don't) aren't that much more in my case. I don't have that many more "opportunites" in that respect.

However, since my opportunities seem so few and far between, every time I don't succeed it hurts worse because I know the next one ain't comin' around for a while. Looking forward to the next chance in March or something!

I don't think either one has it better or worse, just different.
Yeah true, they seem to balance each other out, haha.
 

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I look different than how I really am since I am shy & reserved so I come off as cold. From my experience I think I may be intimidating since I am pretty, and the guys I am usually interested in are the shy, reserved ones like myself. It can be hard since I would like to be pursued.. but it doesn't happen.
 

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SASsy
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I've only known one "good looking" person with no social skills---my cousin's wife---who bears a striking resemblance to Carmen Electra. She is as shy as all get out. I don't understand it. You'd think good looking people would have excellent social skills but I guess they can inherit the anxiety gene just like anyone else.
 

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I look different than how I really am since I am shy & reserved so I come off as cold. From my experience I think I may be intimidating since I am pretty, and the guys I am usually interested in are the shy, reserved ones like myself. It can be hard since I would like to be pursued.. but it doesn't happen.
that line made me lol
 

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I couldn't disagree with you more. Being good looking is definately an advantage, social anxiety or not. When your ugly or average looking, you have to compensate by being outgoing, funny or charming, and usually have to be the pursuer when trying to get dates.

Unfortunately, people tend to get a better first impression of a person based on that person's looks. So good looking people don't have to rely on personality as much, and sometimes even have people pursuing them.

If you're boring and lack personality or likeability, you will drive most people away. But if you're good looking, you at least have a foot in the door when attracting people before they meet you and are turned off by you personality (or lack thereof). Plus, being attractive boosts your self esteem, and increases your confidence, so being good looking is always an advantage.
 

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It probably is a double-edged sword, but that second edge (people overestimating your social skills because you're attractive and then being let down) isn't nearly as painful as ugliness, on the whole. With regard to blown opportunities vs. no opportunities, I would say that an attractive person is quite likely to make something of at least a handful of their opportunities, even if they blow the majority. Thus, they still come out ahead, at least in theory.
 

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Human Error
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I do consider myself a good looking guy as I've been told so by many girls over years, but my personality around the opposite sex is crap. I always come off as awkward, shy and not really having any confidence :blank
 

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Wow, I thought I was the only person who felt like this. I'm good looking, and I am happy I am good looking. Not trying to be arrogant, but enough people have told me I am and I just accept that my looks are above average.

But in a certain mindset, even good things can be turned bad. For years I beat myself up about it. Some examples:
-like a previous poster said you think your personality is a piece of crap if your one of the hottest guys in school and can't get anything
- I felt major guilt for not using something that I was born with and many people wanted. I felt like I was sort of wasting potential
- I would not trust people that said I looked good, I started thinking people were lying to me and were just trying to flatter me for some obscure reason

About a year ago, I just decided to accept I'm good looking and that I am choosing not to use it to my advantage. After that, I kind of stopped feeling bad because it was my decision.

OP- Its only double edged if you let it be double edged. Sure you don't have as much of an excuse for not having a girlfriend/boyfriend but you can use that as encouragement for you to take action next time.

Unless you don't want a relationship, than you don't gotta worry about it. I like this mentality because than it removes pressure from you, which decreases anxiety. And opposite sex relationships flow a bit better.

Good luck
 
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