[tigerlilly]

i know what you mean, arti. but at the same time i think part of it IS actual fear. i fear being around people who might judge me. i like social activities, and i want to go, but if someone asks me i make excuses. i think it's because you know the stress will be taxing if you go, and it's better to just avoid it altogether. like i always have to struggle when i go out with people. i never know what to say or how to act and i'm always afraid of being judged.