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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
holy.. so i signed up to OkCupid just to see what was out there. i didnt have the intention of actually meeting up with someone, but... i started talking to this one guy, and we've gotten along really well.. to the point where we've set up a date for 2 days from now. i am nervous as hell... what do you think i should do to calm myself down before and during the date??

thought records?

man.. my instinct is telling me to pull out of this date, though i know that i am usually better than i predict i will be in situtions like these... i can't give in to the fear. plus, how will i ever meet anyone if i never try?

im scared that i will be boring, silent, or just ramble on abotu something that makes no sense, or not to what to do..etc.
 

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Space Cadet
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holy.. so i signed up to OkCupid just to see what was out there. i didnt have the intention of actually meeting up with someone, but... i started talking to this one guy, and we've gotten along really well.. to the point where we've set up a date for 2 days from now. i am nervous as hell... what do you think i should do to calm myself down before and during the date??

thought records?

man.. my instinct is telling me to pull out of this date, though i know that i am usually better than i predict i will be in situtions like these... i can't give in to the fear. plus, how will i ever meet anyone if i never try?

im scared that i will be boring, silent, or just ramble on abotu something that makes no sense, or not to what to do..etc.
Do NOT back out. Fight through the anxiety and go. If it turns out to be a total disaster.....so what? It happens, and doesn't mean you're a failure. If you want to prepare, think up some topics to talk about beforehand. Then you won't be as worried that you won't be able to think of anything to say.

And just remember, although there's a chance the date might not go so well, there's also a good chance that it'll go just fine! :)

I think it's good that the date is in only two days. Generally, when it comes to anxiety, the longer you have to wait increases the anxiety and the chances of someone backing out.
 

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HaloOfDarkness
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You got this! The greatest advice I ever got "Don't ever pretend to be something your not", if your quiet then be quiet and if your loud then be loud. "To be something you are not is a waste of who you really are" It's hard to constantly live day to day filling somebody elses shoes, especially when they don't fit. People are too transparent to ever pull off anything other than what they were meant to be. Go through as many dates as you need to, you not only gain expierence but your flaws and their flaws will give you the answer to what your really looking for in the end. Best of luck!
 

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Yeah go for it. You'll get this tight, tense feeling of "i wanna get outta this" the whole time you're there, but once you're back home you'll feel thrilled and well pleased with yourself and probably desiring to go on the next date if things went well enough.
 

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ur gonna do great! by taking the first step in actually going through with the date, u are already succeeding!
 

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Go for it! And I wish you best of luck! But even if it doesn't work out, the way I see it, as long as you go you're still succeeding, because you are gaining valuable experience in dating and it will help you when the next guy comes around. But I hope things do work out:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
UPDATE!!

Again, thanks everyone for replying - you are so sweet and supportive and it's really encouraging to read what everyone here has written.

The date went a hell of a lot better than i expected. I was very nervous at first and was afraid of him seeing my hands shake..but luckily he was fairly talkative and kept conversation flowing. the date went on for a looong time. we walked around the city a lot and went to a few bars/pubs...and yeah...it was nice. we talked about everything under the sun. sometimes i would feel stupid for not knowing much about a subject, but i would basically admit it and change the subject. we both seemed to have a really good time and we're in the works for setting up another date (its an online dating thing...). The problem is, i am just as nervous about contacting him a second time. I think part of the reason things went so well was because had a bit to drink during the evening and gradually grew much less inhibited. But i don't always want to use this crutch...and generally never do. Anyway... yeah - ha! basically i'm really happy i did it, and uncertain about going for a second date.
 

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Good for you. If you had a good time and you liked this person, then by all means go out again. Going out more will lower your uncomfortableness of the whole thing. And if he liked you, im sure he would contact you again for another date. good luck.
 

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Wow. Sounds great!

You might feel a bit nervous about the next few dates. It's kind of normal, I think. It should get less gradually. :)
 

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Wow, that's great! I've been trying to get my courage up to go out with this one guy from that site. Your story can serve as inspiration. :D
 
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