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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well I realize that my life is all about sadness.
I'll start from my birth. Well I was born with epilepsy and it last until I was about 8 years. My entire childhood was a mess, I was either separating my mom and dad's fight (He had drinking problems and quit it since they got divorced.) or I was having a seizure... I remember zero of my childhood... just when I was 9 and got into 5th grade...

Now I'm 17. And it hasn't been any easy, though. My adolescence has been such a burden... I hate my life. (OK, i'll try to avoid comments before explanation.)
My mom and my dad never got along on well as you know from the previous text. Now they are divorced for 6 years,and guess who's been the victim...
Needless to say... He's been verbal abusing me and sometime physicality, (when I reply his insults) for 6 long years, or, since they got divorced.

I can just give you a brief moment of what he has told me:
"You should never have been born, I hate you, you are the cause of my problems, god damn machines!!" (Machines are the defibrillators that got me back into life three times from cardiac arrest due the seizures...)

This is just a fraction of my life...
Now, my mom. I never thought that people could be so freaking selfish... :(

I always defended her from their fights and I've always helped her and I always faced her problems like that! and when I needed the most she gave up on me just like that... if you think what my dad said to me threw me down, then add it this...

I can't count on my dad, neither my mother. I actually cut relations with her... I hate her as much as my dad. There ain't no difference between them.

summarizing:
*) I've had no childhood, and died 3 times. Those moments I had no seizures I was helping my mother because she had been beaten up...

*)My youth is all about verbal fights with my dad... (I live with him and my brother)

*)I had to report these fights to the social worker. Asked help to my mom to o trhu it with me and she just said "WTF? are you serious john? nah...I don't want any more problems to me... go alone!" I went alone and I don't wanna even think what is gonna happen when my dad finds out I report him...

*)I've no mother no father to count on with.

*) have a sister that helps me. However she's very selfish too. I help her with my nephew and she doesn't want me to rest and gets mad for that... uhhhh.
Honestly I care of her to much to ignore it...

So, my life is a ****in* hell! A burden...
I've attempt suicide once with pills... didn't work...
CAN YOU FIND A REASON NOT TO KILL MYSELF AGAIN???
 

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You are 17 and almost to a point in your life where you can get the hell out, start your life, eventually have your own family and draw people into your life who will love you.You are too young and have too much life to give up on yourself. Start now to find some passion to draw your forward and give purpose to your life. Life treated you unfairly in your childhood, but now that you are emerging into adulthood you have more of the ability to choose your path.
 

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You need professional help. I doubt any of us will be able to convince you your life is worth living. Maybe it isn't in it's current state but things can always be changed, it's up to you to do this, however. In less than a year you will officially be an adult, you will be free to do whatever you want. This includes cutting ties with your abusive father. Just don't end it now, there is a whole life ahead of you waiting to be lived. Like Coketo stated, millions of people would kill just to be able to try to live it.
 

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think about how millions of people suffer in this world, who dont even have money to eat, have to roam the streets naked, and feel sorry for yourself and your moronic way thinking about commiting suicide just because you dont like your life
Oh that's really motivating. Just because there is people who suffer does not make another persons suffering somehow less valid.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
think about how millions of people suffer in this world, who dont even have money to eat, have to roam the streets naked, and feel sorry for yourself and your moronic way thinking about commiting suicide just because you dont like your life
Right.. lol you would add more to the thread if you had said something just a little bit more useful... seriously? Do you really solve your problems by comparing them to the third world?? If so, then you're a lot selfish...

I don't blame you, though. This world is full of that kind of people and as I see it's contagious...
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you all for the reply.. I have actually a consult with my doctor on Monday.
Well I'll figure out what to do... :|
 

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That sounds horrible. No one should have to go through that.

While I'm positive the bad outnumber the good (judging from your post), there must have been at least one thing you have enjoyed in life, one small moment even. If you think back on that moment and realize that there's still hope your life could have a lot more of those, then that's one reason to live. Just because you lived a horrible life up until now, doesn't mean it always has to be that way. Of course it takes going through a lot more hardships than you think you can endure to get to that point, but if you decide not to end your life and work towards a better one, I think it will be worth it in the end and it will have made you stronger. What I'm saying isn't going to help your life get better, I'm merely giving you one reason to keep living. The way you choose to live is completely up to you and it will probably require professional help.

I wish you luck.
 

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That must have been rough to witness your family fighting when you were growing up. Keep in mind that is mostly in your past now. Don't let your family dictate your self-worth. They were in the wrong, not you.

I'm sorry you are going through a stressful period. Remember that you aren't alone. If you need someone to talk to, we'll be here to listen. I hope you can get some counseling and work through the pain, sadness, and hopelessness that you are experiencing.
 

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Oh that's really motivating. Just because there is people who suffer does not make another persons suffering somehow less valid.
This.

I also agree with what she said, that you're almost old enough to get away. I think if I was going through all those things, I would be quite excited about running away from home. Also, I'm glad you're seeing the doctor. That ought to help. :)

Here's a song which sort of helped me in the past:
. And finally, if you want to talk with someone about anything, send me a message. :)
 

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The very fact that your seeking help in the first place means there's at least a part of you that wants to live. That means there's hope and it would be presumptuous to extinguish that. Try to make it your duty to attend to that part of yourself, with the care it deserves.
 

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No but recognising others' suffering puts one's own into perspective.
Okay, and what exactly does that accomplish? Absolutely nothing. Your pain will not go away just because you acknowledge other people are going through hard/harder stuff. If anything, you will get the 'I have no right to complain' mentality. So you hide it all away, put on a happy face and that's it.

It only makes matters worse. You will end up keeping everything to yourself, because there always will be people who have bigger problems.

Well at least that's what happened to me, after a fair share of that advice. Can't speak for anyone else.
 

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Okay, and what exactly does that accomplish? Absolutely nothing. Your pain will not go away just because you acknowledge other people are going through hard/harder stuff. If anything, you will get the 'I have no right to complain' mentality. So you hide it all away, put on a happy face and that's it.

It only makes matters worse. You will end up keeping everything to yourself, because there always will be people who have bigger problems.

Well at least that's what happened to me, after a fair share of that advice. Can't speak for anyone else.
Or you could look at it this way: there's people who are suffering even more than you and they're still alive/not killing themselves. This could give you hope, because they're going through it, and so can you.

At least that's what I thought when I read coketo's post.
 

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Or you could look at it this way: there's people who are suffering even more than you and they're still alive/not killing themselves. This could give you hope, because they're going through it, and so can you.
I think it depends on how you say it.

1) Millions of people have it worse than you. - not helpful at all.
2) Millions of people have it worse than you: if they can get through it, you can. - could work.
 

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You could get meds and perhaps help out in the community. Maybe doing counselling for those who are abused as well? You relate well to them and you know what it is like to be in that position.
 

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You are 17 and almost to a point in your life where you can get the hell out, start your life, eventually have your own family and draw people into your life who will love you.You are too young and have too much life to give up on yourself. Start now to find some passion to draw your forward and give purpose to your life. Life treated you unfairly in your childhood, but now that you are emerging into adulthood you have more of the ability to choose your path.
Yeah! You're 17 man. Your life is only now just about to begin, i know this might sound a little condescending, you probably have adults all around telling you that you don't know s*** about life but seriously... no matter what happened in the past 17 years, you can change, and they're right, you really don't know s*** about life ;)

You can be whoever and whatever you want to be, it starts now for you. You can even be an astronaut. That's what i would do if i was your age, be an astronaut. Don't blow it.

And family can be tough. But you're going to be a legal adult soon, and that means you can approach them on your own terms. You can try to patch things up or you can just ignore them and make your own life. And from what i've seen, the strongest people i know have had crappy childhoods, you get through this and that's proof enough that you're above all this suicide talk.
 

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Sexual intercourse.


Football special.



Taytos.
 
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