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alien monk
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My gf suggested that I might be writing stuff about her on the internet earlier today. I haven't yet but meh, why not...

I've been in a relationship with a girl for a few years and we live together but I feel a little trapped. We're a little co-dependant and now it is becomming more and more clear that she is actually asexual. She's probably gonna read this because she is kind of shy and has started comming to this site too - she kinda hijacked it off of me and now I feel a bit weird about posting here, mostly because she talks to people a lot more than I do which just highlights to me how socially inept I am... I really love her but the relationship is quite uncomfortable a lot of the time.

I feel like if I met someone else - which will never happen because I don't talk to people - I would attempt to get to know them in a sort of 'I hope you can be my new gf' sort of way. Which is confusing because I do still love my gf. I alternate between doubting our relationship and having the greatest confidence that is going to be ok. I think that's quite unhealthy and I don't see us resolving it any time soon.

Anyway, just ranting about my troubles. I think I'm better off with her for now and she understands the problems also.
 

Viva La Raza!
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34,841 Posts
her being asexual will cause more problems in the future. two people need to be sexually compatible to make the relationship work
 

Registered
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3,626 Posts
Your girlfriend isn't asexual dude. But if you have this attitude like "she isn't giving me sex, therefore I'll find someone else to satisfy this urge, it doesn't really solve anything. Who knows, she might be sad and feeling very unsexy and your attempts just are futile because you know each other and you are going through the motions.

But on the other hand, you have to stir the pot you know. Think about the first time you to did it, think about how in terms of style what was it then compared to today, what was different in terms of leading to the moment and what you did then that's different now.
 

alien monk
Joined
8,749 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Your girlfriend isn't asexual dude.
Maybe she is and maybe she is not - a while ago she told me she was, and now she is less sure.

I'm not really gonna talk about this too much cause it wouldn't be very fair to her...

Thanks for the replies anyway. I am currently in an optimistic mood, but I know it will deteriorate in a few days.

Really I wanted to point out that as an SAer I feel more dependent on her as she is the only gf I am likely to ever have. I'm afraid of losing her but I'm also afraid of being stuck in an unhealthy relationship. There seems to be no way of changing things and the situation makes me moody and sad a lot of the time. I'm not really looking for a sex-related solution because thats not really all that changeable. Maybe I just whining. I feel like I need to talk about to someone but I have no friends...
 
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