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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Basically all my friends have boyfriends/girlfriends. Unfortunatly for me all of these friends, and I mean every single one, would rather spend time with their partners than me. I just don't get how they don't want to hang out with their friends anymore? I have a boyfriend and I spend most of my time with him simply because it's either that or being alone as I have no friends to go out with. I'd jump at the chance if one asked me to go out. This never happens. It's becoming a big problem as I'm starting to become way too reliant on my boyfriend to solve my loneliness. I need to get out of this habit as I will be going to uni this year and he won't be there to solve it.

Is anyone else's friends like this? It just seems like all the people around me are always going out or having fun with their friends and mine just can't bring themselves to want to do that.
 

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I've gone through that definitely... it always bothered me, and still does, how easily people rely on their SOs for all their socializing. But I guess that person kind of becomes your "everything", you friend and your lover, so in a way I suppose it makes sense. But I find even my single friends were so focused on hooking up with people and finding someone to be with.

Maybe you could try finding new friends, or doing different things away from your bf? Like volunteer, join a class of some kind, meetup.com... just a few ideas.
 

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I'm always the third wheel ._. It's a horrible feeling...
 

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This is happening to me right now. She also has SA so we've been talking almost every day for about 15 months. We'd kind of just started to hang out more and she visited my flat. Then a few weeks ago she started talking to me less and less, then she suddenly told me she was meeting up with the guy and about 2 weeks later they're in a relationship.

Looking back she did the same thing a couple of years ago, completely stopped talking to me. It's only now I realise the timeline fits her getting into her previous relationship and going through the breakup, then she started talking to me again.

We are still talking, maybe once every couple of days but I can tell it's when she's done with her boyfriend for the day and she's not telling me things. Just small talk mostly about work, where as before it was how she was feeling and we would text constantly throughout the day.

It frustrates me how easily it can happen like that. And also that she doesn't seem to get why I'd be a little put out by the sudden change. As if her taking away all these times we would usually talk and not telling me things isn't going to affect me after it's been that way for so long.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I've gone through that definitely... it always bothered me, and still does, how easily people rely on their SOs for all their socializing. But I guess that person kind of becomes your "everything", you friend and your lover, so in a way I suppose it makes sense. But I find even my single friends were so focused on hooking up with people and finding someone to be with.

Maybe you could try finding new friends, or doing different things away from your bf? Like volunteer, join a class of some kind, meetup.com... just a few ideas.
I know right! It's just very frustrating as you know! Thanks for the advice!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
This is happening to me right now. She also has SA so we've been talking almost every day for about 15 months. We'd kind of just started to hang out more and she visited my flat. Then a few weeks ago she started talking to me less and less, then she suddenly told me she was meeting up with the guy and about 2 weeks later they're in a relationship.

Looking back she did the same thing a couple of years ago, completely stopped talking to me. It's only now I realise the timeline fits her getting into her previous relationship and going through the breakup, then she started talking to me again.

We are still talking, maybe once every couple of days but I can tell it's when she's done with her boyfriend for the day and she's not telling me things. Just small talk mostly about work, where as before it was how she was feeling and we would text constantly throughout the day.

It frustrates me how easily it can happen like that. And also that she doesn't seem to get why I'd be a little put out by the sudden change. As if her taking away all these times we would usually talk and not telling me things isn't going to affect me after it's been that way for so long.
Mine do that to me too. When they can't see their bf/gf they'll come back to me. It's like of like using you, but you don't want to just tell them to p*** off either.
 

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Mine do that to me too. When they can't see their bf/gf they'll come back to me. It's like of like using you, but you don't want to just tell them to p*** off either.
Yeah exactly how I'm feeling. Part of me wants to be really snide and be like, "Oh, I guess you're bored enough to talk to me today then?" But I don't have enough friends to do that. And now it's been a few weeks my mind is getting used to not expecting texts from her, so it's getting easier.
 

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I know right! It's just very frustrating as you know! Thanks for the advice!
Yeah of course! :) If you need someone to chat with, feel free to PM me anyway. It's not much but when I'm socially lacking internet friends can be pretty awesome.
 

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One of my close friends has a girlfriend, and prior to that, we'd hang out a lot but lately, it's been the other way around.

Usually people in relationships spend a lot of time with each other because they prefer their company. I mean, this seems logical given that they're dating. Personally, I don't care if we hang out anymore because it's not a top concern of mine, but I do miss hanging out sometimes.

I would feel like a third wheel because his girlfriend and I attended the same university, so he'd go visit her and he'd invite me along because we'd want to catch up. It was awkward sometimes because I felt as if I was getting in the way, especially when we'd all eat together and they'd talk about stuff I had nothing to contribute to, so I'd just sit and look at my food, lol. I'd usually try to leave conveniently because it felt weird being the third wheel.

Things change, but what can you do?
 

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My old roommate told me that she believed that, once one gets a boyfriend, that he should consist of 90%+ of their social life and they should both know where they are at all times. That seems pretty extreme to me. Just because you get a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't mean that you should suffocate them or throw away the rest of your life to occupy yourself on them 24/7.
 
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