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is getting over herself
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12,022 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This has probably been asked a million times before, but I'm curious.

Do you think forums like this really help, or do they hinder recovery from SA.

Do you really think these have helped you, or is it a "crutch"?

Do you spend too much time here, thereby avoiding what's "out there"?

Just wondering.

Leo
 

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Losing Ground
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2,121 Posts
I think this forum is helpful- it's just helpful to know you're not alone in all this. It's also a good place just to chat and make some connections.
 

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5,554 Posts
I don't think this forum has had a positive or negative influence on my problem. It's a good place to discuss some topics and meet some neat people. Maybe I spend a bit more time on here than I should, but I don't think it's a crutch or aids my avoidance issues.

Just my views at least. I'm sure for some it has helped or hindered them.
 

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407 Posts
I think it's a personal thing. For some it might be helpful and for others not so.
 

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234 Posts
I think a little of both but mainly helpful. It's good to see I'm not alone in this and it's helped me realize how many of my quirks are actually SA related.
 

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wtf
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419 Posts
I have found out that my stories are not unique. Many people share them. I can now go in public amongst people and feel like a human being and not a freak. I even created a thread about this.

I have realized that people of all backgrounds, talents, interests, and personalities can share the same social anxiety problem. This has made me less likely to stereotype people in real life. For instance, I used to see sports players as uber popular as a general rule. However, I have read posts by athletes who have trouble socializing so I threw that stereotype out the window. I also threw out a lot of false stereotypes I had about men.

I look at every person in real life now and I recognize the anxieties and insecurities in EVERYONE. Yes, even non-sa people have insecurities. I didn't notice these things in the past.

Most of all, by talking to people who accept their introversion and differences, I started to realize that it is OK to be yourself and not try to force yourself to be super aggressive and outgoing if you don't feel like it. Besides, outgoing people have their own problems too, so we're not the only ones struggling.

CHAT!

I have begun to understand group convos much better. They function somewhat differently from one-on-one convos. I am alright at one-on-one convos in real life with certain people, but I always struggled with group discussions and this chat site has helped a little.

The chat also allows me to talk to people close my age and experiment by saying things I would never dare say in real life. I am less likely to think that discussing music videos and whatnot are a waste of time and I started to do it more in real life.

The only problem I struggle with since I joined sas is that I sort of developed an addiction. I'm trying to force myself to keep in touch with my real life...however, I can't see myself leaving this site permanently. I suppose I could, but I don't really want to.
 

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Banned
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136 Posts
It's helped me. I knew I had a problem before and I was able to put a name on it. Now I've realized how much of my behavior is due to SA.
 

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604 Posts
I'm not sure this site is helping me overcome S.A. but the people on here have been incredibly supportive. I say things on here that I wouldn't say in life. It's more of an outlet for me to vent/discuss and relate to others. Sometimes it makes me feel better but then sometimes it brings me down when I read some of the comments here.
 

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Staying positive
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754 Posts
^Agreed^

People on this forum are extremely nice and offer many positives to each other. The only problem I have with this forum is that people tend to be so negative sometimes. I feel like if we had more positivity on this forum then we would see more people fighting to overcome their SA instead of accepting it. Negativity met with more negativity isn't going to help anyone. Just look at the amount of posts in the Frustration and Coping sections vs. the Positivity and Triumphs sections.
 

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Positively Revolting Hag
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6,547 Posts
^Agreed^

People on this forum are extremely nice and offer many positives to each other. The only problem I have with this forum is that people tend to be so negative sometimes. I feel like if we had more positivity on this forum then we would see more people fighting to overcome their SA instead of accepting it. Negativity met with more negativity isn't going to help anyone. Just look at the amount of posts in the Frustration and Coping sections vs. the Positivity and Triumphs sections.
Yeah, I've been thinking about that a bit since I've joined. I'm making attempts to me a more positive person so maybe it'll rub off onto some people haha.

I think I'm a little addicted to this forum...but it's nice to be able to go somewhere and talk to people who don't think I'm a freak. :)
 

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140 Posts
I think it's what you take out of it. I haven't been posting here very long (been a reader for a couple months however), and I've learned some stuff that I have every intention of implementing into my life. If you just come here to vent or to get sympathy, I don't think it'll be of much help sorry to say. It's what you take out of it - take what you learn and apply it to your life.

Really, these forums are no less helpful than a support group.
 

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290 Posts
This forum has been helpful to me. I have noticed when in social situations this forum pops into my mind and it's strengthening to me-a community who also knows this issue. i've been alone w/it most of my life.

So it does help. Although I'm sure it could be a crutch too. I also think it's what you do with it.
 

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18,888 Posts
SAS...

- It has a neutral effect on my SA (not a hinderance, not a cure).
- It has helped for some coping mechanisms.
- It has helped in making me feel not so alone with this problem.
- It is not a crutch.
- I do not spend too much time here.
- It does not make me avoid what's "out there" (-if- I'm avoiding it, I'd be avoiding it regardless of my SAS visiting).
- I think it can be good as a tool to make connections with other SA sufferers.
 

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Banned
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19,437 Posts
I've found this board to be really helpful.
 

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I used to spend too much time here, as I have a habit of compulsively checking whatever forum I'm on over and over. I used to check this forum a lot at work, for example.

It's also not that great for me when it comes to general chat. I have a really unusual childhood and family situation, and a lot of discussions on here are about family life.

Probably what's helping the most right now is just plain old therapy, audio books about self development, and reading books in other fields. I started a couple long term threads in the Goal Setting situation, which I think reflect the approach I need to take in the near future. It's kind of my one-man behavioral therapy group, but the forum can provide encouragement and hold me accountable.
 

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Banned
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87 Posts
People come here to vent, to expect sympathy, and to read suggestions. Does it help? This place can definitely make you feel temporarily better about yourself, at best in can help you expand your views on the subject do more retrospective thinking. Still, the truth is exposed when you step away from the keyboard xD
 

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i'm new, but already love it. people on here give good advice. the first day that i talked to a counselor, she was going on saying "this is normal, because thousands of people go through the same thing". i see that now. some of the things that i do that i didn't even know was attached to SA, i see that you guys do, too.
 

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I think maybe SAS is a good tool for finding information, but I also think that it can make us focus to much on our anxiety, which can make it an even larger part of life. I think that's it's good to be able to share experiences, and particularly achievements, but I think we need to be careful not to become too dependant on SAS for sympathy or compliments. Ultimately we need to learn to change our thoughts to make ourselves feel good, rather than searching for reassurance. This is the way to get better, I think.
 
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