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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm a Canadian, female university student (I complete my undergrad this year). Somehow I made it to 22 without ever posting in a forum. I've certainly never initiated a thread. For some reason the anonimity provided by the Internet doesn't make me feel any more comfortable or any less nervous.

I've recognized my SA as such for about 3 years. Before that, I thought I was just a lazy procrastinator (put off doing work for fear of judgment) who couldn't fit in or make friends because I was inherently unlikable. While I have some very close friends and I consider myself a compassionate and socially competent person (hah!), I am constantly vigilant - always aware that I could make a fatal error. I avoid eye-contact with strangers at all costs. I close myself off entirely. I often think about how my physical appearance is a failing on my part, like the people who see me deserve an apology. Actually, I see almost every social moment as an opportunity to fail, an opportunity to embarrass myself and disappoint others. Of course, these perceptions are largely baseless.

I see my friends and peers growing and accepting themselves, but I'm the same girl who sat in the library alone in grade 10 instead of eating lunch in the caf. I admire my friends; they're moving out into the world and making positive changes. I want to, but I'm inhibited by anxiety.

I feel particularly frustrated because I've been given a great deal of support and many wonderful experiences. With my environment, I think I should have no reason to feel so fearful.

Anyhow, this seems like a wonderfully positive community. I hope I can contribute while I benefit, and maybe meet some of the great people I would avoid on the street. Thanks to anyone who read all the way through!
 

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Welcome to SAS, Lefty! :wel
 

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Hey lefty welcome. :)
 

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Welcome, Lefty. Thanks for the thoughtful intro. I could relate to a lot of what you said, particularly the part about the agony of watching your peers progress as you stand still due to SA and related issues. I'm definitely in the same boat, except I'm a decade older than you. Like you, I feel like I've been given many fantastic opportunities--educational, traveling, etc.--which I have taken, sort of. I mean, I have lots of pictures of these things, but I have never been fully present for any of it. I never kept in touch with anyone. My experiences were perfunctory; I never really lived them. Anyway, point is, I've done--sometimes forced myself to do--all the things that are supposed to give you confidence and help you grow, but this has not quite happened in a normal way. And now I'm on Facebook (whole nother story, which I've written about in other threads) and see all the old "friends" and acquaintances with wonderful groups of friends and, now, families of their own. It's tough. So, yeah, welcome, I sympathize.
 

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Hi there, lefty ;) Yes you did it, you really did it! Congratulations! I really know what it means to have SAD, it took me guts to post here, hell yeah. You can find my first greeting post.
But this wonderfull community is just incredible, man, its just incredible! It's so supportive of each other, it was just pure therapy for me. I am gladly welcoming you to post your most intimate secrets, the things you most fear, and voalia!
What you get? Not anyone laughs... Wtf? It seems everybody perfectly understands what you are trying to say, and tries to calm you down, cheer you up... How can it be? It seems for me as everyone wants to hug you and virtually does it by words!
It doesnt mean anything how you look like nor how you are speaking in real live. You can be an elephant man (if you have seen the movie) or even vorse, and you can be perfectly confident, it is all right with you, we dont care what others say to you!
You think you are too old? Well, guess what... NOT! You are too old when you are dead, if you arent dead, then you are not too old to us. You are important to us, not them. The more shy you are, the more we want to hug you, support you, no matter how bad your life was. You want sex? You want children? ****ing yes, it is all right! You will get it, it is your right! What is important, it is that you are sensitive, good person (yes, you are good person! I have noticed that shy people are the most understanding persons in life!), what the world now needs most! I am no kidding, just look around... Read some news... No more violence, no more wars or religious fundamentalists! No more children picking up other children! We want only peace and understanding! We want to love each other! It is evoliutinary geneticed in us. You know what i think? I think that shy people, yes, if you can call yourself shy then you are in this category, that we are the top of evolution... I would call it "**** Shyus". We are believers in science, in science evoliution! ****, if the rest of the world can't accept it, we could make our own new country! Trust me, the the majority of scientists would come to our country. If you are shy, it means you are smart, your brains are more evoliutionary advanced than others, becouse you are so sensitive about things, you remember everything what was bad to you and quetly want it to fix it.
I will make more arguments about it later, it will be continiued.
PS: I have SAD and i dont want to improve! I will change my signature.
 

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Hey, welcome to the site! I know the feeling of watching your friends and peers grow and develop lives and you stay the same. I am 28 and just now getting the help I need. Good Luck!!!! Also, this website was my first experience with any kind of forums or anything online. I think you will find it very helpful.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks to everyone for welcoming me. I'm especially appreciative of those who took the time to write personalized messages to me, a stranger. Thank you for being so warm, open, and friendly!
 

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Welcome, Lefty! :)
 
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