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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I am feeling so unbelievably lonely right now. I Have a couple people I can call "friends" although 2 of them I just met at school this year and another I have known for a while, but we're not very close. I also have another friends from high school who I see like once a month/2 months. Problem is, it feels like I got no friends at all, just people I talk to. I got no real friends who I can confide in, who I feel like they're family. But now, I feel even worse.

My girlfriend, who also has SA and didnt go to school for a year, started college this year. She found herself a group of friends on the first day, and 5 weeks later she knows a bunch of people, even though she had no friends for like a year. It's long distance relationship. RIght now as I type this, she is having a birthday party for her 18th bday, and invited like 10 people from her new school. I just feel like the biggest loser tbh, yeah she did know 1 person who helped her meet other ppl through this program, but she still managed to get to know a lot of ppl, and me? After being in college for 2 years, the first year I did not talk to anyone, and this year I talk to 2 people. Again, I am happy for her, but I just feel like the biggest loser ever and I feel like im gona lose her, even though she says she wants to be with me for the rest of her life. But how do you go on when you feel so inadequate and you know you will never be so lucky to have friends and a life?
 

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I can understand your lonliness. I'm a stay at home mom right now and am completely isolated. I don't even have family around to talk to. However, I've always felt lonely, like you, even in school. I have a very hard time meeting and talking to people I don't know and even people I do know. Often, I look at social/extraverted people and feel so envious. Good luck to you and I hope you meet someone you feel comfortable calling a friend soon.
 

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I'm lonely too man. I really wish someone could come over and get drunk with me right now. Play some rock band, listen to music, whatever.
Come on over if you want!
I'll be here..

What sucks the most is, I called someone I know to see if they wanted to come over. They said they were busy and would call me back.. but never called me back.. *sigh*
 

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and this year I talk to 2 people.
^^ congrats...thats better than nothing...and try not to think about her leaving you...just try to be happy shes found some friends

I'm lonely too man. I really wish someone could come over and get drunk with me right now. Play some rock band, listen to music, whatever.
Come on over if you want!
I'll be here..
^^ that sounds like a lot of fun :yes
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I'm lonely too man. I really wish someone could come over and get drunk with me right now. Play some rock band, listen to music, whatever.
Come on over if you want!
I'll be here..

What sucks the most is, I called someone I know to see if they wanted to come over. They said they were busy and would call me back.. but never called me back.. *sigh*
That sounds like something I'd definitely be up for doing!

Argh, I don't think I've ever felt so lonely. I literally have nothing to look forward to, I'm not gona do anything outside of school for a long time probablly and im just gona sit at home and stare my pc screen and want to die like i do now
 

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Ya it sucks but women like confidence. Fake some! You got a girl at 19 dude yer doing better than TONS of other guys. You need to keep on keepin on. Go visit her this weekend
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Ya it sucks but women like confidence. Fake some! You got a girl at 19 dude yer doing better than TONS of other guys. You need to keep on keepin on. Go visit her this weekend
Im not really worried about losing her, weve been together for 2 years and she knows all about my anxiety, she has sa too. Problem is with the rest of my life, or lack of.
 

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Ok

People keep talking about being "a loser" if they "fail" to make any or loads of friends. Friendship is not a contest. Ok, so maybe it can be in high school or whatever but that's not about real friendship. That's about popularity that doesn't exist beneath a very thin surface of nonsense. Guess what? If you've not made any friends yet or you only have a few friends, that's fine. Doesn't make you any less of a person. I say it's fine. Now, for many people, those sorts of circumstances may not feel fine. What I mean is, having no or few friends is fine in the sense that it doesn't mean you're a bad person/a loser or whatever. If you have such circumstances and want them to change, that's another thing. But the fact that you have no friends or only a few friends does not make you any kind of loser. The only losers in this world are the people who want to and do hurt people.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
People keep talking about being "a loser" if they "fail" to make any or loads of friends. Friendship is not a contest. Ok, so maybe it can be in high school or whatever but that's not about real friendship. That's about popularity that doesn't exist beneath a very thin surface of nonsense. Guess what? If you've not made any friends yet or you only have a few friends, that's fine. Doesn't make you any less of a person. I say it's fine. Now, for many people, those sorts of circumstances may not feel fine. What I mean is, having no or few friends is fine in the sense that it doesn't mean you're a bad person/a loser or whatever. If you have such circumstances and want them to change, that's another thing. But the fact that you have no friends or only a few friends does not make you any kind of loser. The only losers in this world are the people who want to and do hurt people.
I see what you are trying to say. But while I guess it's ok to not have friends objectively, subjectively, I feel like I need some real friends and feel really ****ty that I dont.
 

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remember that when the social ball is rolling in college, its hard to stop, which is may be why your girlfriend is more successful. When I first got to college, I put in a pretty decent effort in making friends, and everyone was new to everyone else so it was much different than high school. I was reasonably successful, because I just started to hang out with people in my suite, and then met some of their friends, and also made friends with people who play video games over in the dorms. All possible because my roomate was new to everyone so I could hang with him to get lunch and stuff when we didn't have anyone else, and my suite was full of vibrant people looking for socializing and making friends. I commuted sophomore year and was cut out from everyone, came back my junior year and was in a room with basically no one, and this is the situation you may have ended up in.

Remember though no situation is out of hand in college, like if your suite isn't very active, start REGULARLY hanging out at a suite that is, or hanging out at several suites that are. Find places where the same people come back again and chill, and join several clubs. Make your suite entertainable if you want to make your suite a place people meet up (by getting a video game system, a decent TV, keeping it clean, maybe having some alcohol at hand).

Remember, your ability to make friends and obtain social skills is so much more in college, don't waste a very good opportunity. Oh yeah, go to parties and drink if they are public or something. Real good way to make friends (not possible in my private school)
 
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