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Immortal Corrupter
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
There's a few people I used to know in high school on my facebook. Not that they were really good friends, I didn't really have any friends back then. But people I used to hang out with, even if I never really felt part of the group. Anyhow, one of them posted that tonight they're having a "mini-reunion" with all their old friends from high school. Guess who wasn't invited?

It's kinda strange, because I don't even really like these people much and had little in common with them even back then, but I feel terribly rejected. I still don't have much in the way of close friends and it's always bothered me. This incident brings back a lot of the feelings I used to have back then, feeling like no one really likes or cares about me. Though I feel this way much less often now, I still don't know how to handle the feelings when they come about. Any tips for handling rejection?
 

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Remove them from your friends list and don't look back. To be blunt, **** 'em. If they don't seem to care, why should you? Start thinking about how you can meet some new people instead (volunteering, night school, whatever other activites are available for your interests, etc).
 

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Immortal Corrupter
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well, I wish I didn't care, but I still do. And I hate that it bothers me so much, but I can't deny that it does.

And I already do volunteer and go out a fair amount. Though I have lots of acquaintances, nothing ever seems to develop into a real friendship and I don't know why. It's frustrating though...
 

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I have the same problem. I also have lots of aquaintences, but not very many close friends. It makes me feel lonely, but I am not sure how to go about turning acquaintences in to close friends.
 

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If they had invited you, would you actually, really have wanted to go?

All my coworkers go out drinking together fairly frequently, which I'm not really interested in because I don't drink. But I still feel really left out when they don't ask me...even though I don't really want to go if I am honest with myself. Like I want the option to tell them not because at least that means that they're at least interested in having me around.

A few months ago we had a company spa day sort of thing, and I heard them talking and knew they were going to a bar afterwards, but they never said anything to me. We left and then someone called me about 2 minutes after we'd left, and for about 2 seconds before I answered the phone I was really, really excited that maybe they'd just not realized I hadn't been invited until I left on my own and were calling to invite me. But it was only the spa we were just at, asking if I'd left something there. I went home and moped the rest of the night, and kept trying to tell myself that I really didn't want to go anyway so what was the point?
 

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Remove them from your friends list and don't look back. To be blunt, **** 'em. If they don't seem to care, why should you? Start thinking about how you can meet some new people instead (volunteering, night school, whatever other activites are available for your interests, etc).
+1
 

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I understand where you're coming from. I've tried taking a class and it took me six months before I could even manage to say hi. In the meantime, everyone else had already formed groups and knew each other's life stories.

I also had the same thing happen to me with facebook. I know someone on there, who I've been friends with since I was six, that knew when my parents made me move into a group home for awhile. I felt like I would be seen as a crazy person, never to be talked to again, but no, she said I should phone this other mutual friend. I also emailed her sometimes and talked to her on msn (only sometimes because I didn't have my own computer or any privacy).

Afterwards, she moved and got a new job and stopped talking to me. I emailed her a couple times and said, hey, how's it going, and she didn't respond. Then I would see her write to other people on facebook and I felt like crap because, I don't know, it's beneath her to talk to me now? She moved back here, and I realized I don't really have any fun around her because she sits there and talks about people and has this really mean, ugly laugh, and I can't sit there and listen to that ****. I was invited out for a couple things and I ended up being an hour late because I was physically ill just thinking about going. It reminds me of in grade seven when all the girls got really mean and cliquey (and about the time I started to just stay away from people because I hate that crap). I feel like a pity friend when she does invite me to things, and I don't need that. I want real friends.

I didn't delete her because I would feel really bad (not sure why, maybe just because I've known her since we were six), but I hid her posts from my newsfeed so I don't have to read that stuff and be depressed by it. If you would feel bad deleting those people, maybe you could do that.

I go there for the games, and I don't mind pictures of stuff if it's like my cousin who just had a baby and posted one. Other than that, facebook is just a bunch of self-important, ego stroking, and I think **** 'em is good advice.

Sorry, I didn't mean to write a book, and I wish I had more advice to offer. But you aren't alone, anyway.
 

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i have a similar experience right now as well and i've learned just to toughen up and make new friends...or atleast new people to talk to once in a while. i've noticed the people i've known have changed almost completely, so why change again for them?
as for not sending you an invitation, maybe they were too self concerned for themselves and their own friends that they forgot everyone else that they were too ignorant to make friends with. it shouldn't be worth your time to feel left out. life is too short, and when life crushes you, get up and find a new path to enjoy and feel a part of...(sry, i'm pessimistic sometimes..)
 

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I understand where you're coming from. I've tried taking a class and it took me six months before I could even manage to say hi. In the meantime, everyone else had already formed groups and knew each other's life stories.

I also had the same thing happen to me with facebook. I know someone on there, who I've been friends with since I was six, that knew when my parents made me move into a group home for awhile. I felt like I would be seen as a crazy person, never to be talked to again, but no, she said I should phone this other mutual friend. I also emailed her sometimes and talked to her on msn (only sometimes because I didn't have my own computer or any privacy).

Afterwards, she moved and got a new job and stopped talking to me. I emailed her a couple times and said, hey, how's it going, and she didn't respond. Then I would see her write to other people on facebook and I felt like crap because, I don't know, it's beneath her to talk to me now? She moved back here, and I realized I don't really have any fun around her because she sits there and talks about people and has this really mean, ugly laugh, and I can't sit there and listen to that ****. I was invited out for a couple things and I ended up being an hour late because I was physically ill just thinking about going. It reminds me of in grade seven when all the girls got really mean and cliquey (and about the time I started to just stay away from people because I hate that crap). I feel like a pity friend when she does invite me to things, and I don't need that. I want real friends.

I didn't delete her because I would feel really bad (not sure why, maybe just because I've known her since we were six), but I hid her posts from my newsfeed so I don't have to read that stuff and be depressed by it. If you would feel bad deleting those people, maybe you could do that.

I go there for the games, and I don't mind pictures of stuff if it's like my cousin who just had a baby and posted one. Other than that, facebook is just a bunch of self-important, ego stroking, and I think **** 'em is good advice.

Sorry, I didn't mean to write a book, and I wish I had more advice to offer. But you aren't alone, anyway.
haha yes, i deleted one of my friends on facebook that i've known since elementary. i tried several times to talk to her, but she ignored me and continued to talk to everyone else. it took some time to build up the nerve, but i finally just pressed the delete button...lol
 

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There's a few people I used to know in high school on my facebook. Not that they were really good friends, I didn't really have any friends back then. But people I used to hang out with, even if I never really felt part of the group. Anyhow, one of them posted that tonight they're having a "mini-reunion" with all their old friends from high school. Guess who wasn't invited?

It's kinda strange, because I don't even really like these people much and had little in common with them even back then, but I feel terribly rejected. I still don't have much in the way of close friends and it's always bothered me. This incident brings back a lot of the feelings I used to have back then, feeling like no one really likes or cares about me. Though I feel this way much less often now, I still don't know how to handle the feelings when they come about. Any tips for handling rejection?
I would delete those highschool people. Any person whos holding you back both physically or emotionally are not worth it. You even said yourself you dont really like these people so dont look at it as rejection.
 

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Immortal Corrupter
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I understand where you're coming from. I've tried taking a class and it took me six months before I could even manage to say hi. In the meantime, everyone else had already formed groups and knew each other's life stories.
Yes! That always happens to me too...

If they had invited you, would you actually, really have wanted to go?

All my coworkers go out drinking together fairly frequently, which I'm not really interested in because I don't drink. But I still feel really left out when they don't ask me...even though I don't really want to go if I am honest with myself. Like I want the option to tell them not because at least that means that they're at least interested in having me around.
Yeah, that's the thing, I don't know if I would have gone. There's a couple people I'd like to see again sometime, but most of them I frankly found kind of annoying. So it's not really upsetting to not be able to go, it's just the feeling left out of not being invited. Silly, I know.

In any case, I feel much better today. I went out last night and hung out with people who are a lot more like me anyway. I had a really great night that wouldn't have happened if I had gone to their thing. So I'm pretty happy now :).
 

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sa challenger
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There's a few people I used to know in high school on my facebook. Not that they were really good friends, I didn't really have any friends back then. But people I used to hang out with, even if I never really felt part of the group. Anyhow, one of them posted that tonight they're having a "mini-reunion" with all their old friends from high school. Guess who wasn't invited?

It's kinda strange, because I don't even really like these people much and had little in common with them even back then, but I feel terribly rejected. I still don't have much in the way of close friends and it's always bothered me. This incident brings back a lot of the feelings I used to have back then, feeling like no one really likes or cares about me. Though I feel this way much less often now, I still don't know how to handle the feelings when they come about. Any tips for handling rejection?
In grade school kids are taught not to pass out birthday invitations in class, or, invite the whole class. High school graduates should have learned how not to exclude publicly!
 
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