Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
658 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Feeling lonely - how to cope?

Hey everyone,

Just wanted some advice on how you cope with loneliness. I have some friends and a decent family. There is one person who I would consider a good friend. But there is no one I am really close with. It's been a while since i have had a girlfriend and i am feeling really lonely. I have felt like this for quite a while.
What do you single people do to cope with loneliness. I have hope, i keep trying to meet someone, i am patience and keep waiting for something to happen but no luck. When i did have girlfriend it wasn't the greatest relationship but it was still a nice feeling to know that i had someone there for me, someone i was close with and someone i could do everything with.
Do you have any advice.

Much appreciated thanks.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,029 Posts
anyone else just not feel like having a boyfriend/girlfriend? I honestly have no desire to try and meet someone and then having to turn on the cool guy act in order to impress someone. I really don't see why people with boring lives try to cure it by finding a partner. Like having a partner is really gonna make you happy. *Rolls Eyes*
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
49 Posts
I think we're only human- and humans naturally crave companionship. Personally I think the next best thing is caring for a pet...unconditional love :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,005 Posts
I try to look at the upside of things as far as this goes. I can be my own man, make my own decisions, come and go as I please, not have to answer or explain myself to anyone. Little things like that.

I've found the best way to cope with loneliness is to spend a lot of time enjoying your hobbies ie music, working out, watching baseball, enjoying the outdoors.

Just be yourself and try your best to extend yourself to people and get involved with things. The best partners always seem to come around when you very least expect it.

Best wishes.
 

·
In hiding
Joined
·
1,455 Posts
anyone else just not feel like having a boyfriend/girlfriend? I honestly have no desire to try and meet someone and then having to turn on the cool guy act in order to impress someone. I really don't see why people with boring lives try to cure it by finding a partner. Like having a partner is really gonna make you happy. *Rolls Eyes*
Geez, I'm gonna have to agree with this. I feel like I need to work on myself first. If I don't like me, how will anyone else? I mean, long-term? And sorry if this sounds harsh to anyone, but being in a relationship isn't going to make you feel any better. It might a little but you're not going to be truly happy just because you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I've only had one 'boyfriend' before (I felt like it needed the ' ' because it was just so forced I wouldn't say he was a real boyfriend to me). I thought having a relationship would make me feel 'normal' and like I was just like everyone else. It didn't, and I felt nothing but pressure all the time. I was glad when that ended.

Not meaning to bag out relationships, I'm just saying, they won't fix anything. Lonely people who desperately want a partner should just make some friends to start with.
 

·
Geese
Joined
·
20,768 Posts
Yeah after being in one although very short I admit it was no magical cure for me (in fact it flared my SA up) but it was nice to know there was someone out there who had an interest in me in that respect, because I doubted it (and still do) was possible.

But at the moment I honestly the last thing I need is a relationship because it would only hinder my professional life which is going gangbusters and I would regret it forever if I lost out on opportunities because of a girl.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,005 Posts
Haha, I thought finding a partner would make things better too. I went on match and met a girl. She liked me and it lasted a while, but it was quite clear she was disappointed that I was shy, quiet, and didn't have any friends.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
342 Posts
I can't stand to see someone "cop out" by getting into a relationship that's not ideal. Not that any relationship is perfect, but when you start thinking like there's no future it's really painful to see someone stick around and suffer. Making yourself happy is numero uno. The worst case scenario is FINALLY getting into a relationship just to find you're STILL unhappy.

Continue to be patient though, that's a quality a lot suffer with.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
482 Posts
I hate to admit it but I feel pretty lonely most of the time. I haven't had any friends for the past 3-4 years, and haven't had a girlfriend since 8th grade and I'm 22 now. I deal with my loneliness by trying to distract myself, like by reading or spending time on the computer. I've tried online dating but with no luck.

I think the best thing to do would be to build some social skills and make some friends and meet some women. Also focusing on improving yourself. But while you are working on that try distracting yourself by doing something you enjoy by yourself. Some type of hobby that you really enjoy. Or if your really desperate higher an escort.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,672 Posts
anyone else just not feel like having a boyfriend/girlfriend? I honestly have no desire to try and meet someone and then having to turn on the cool guy act in order to impress someone. I really don't see why people with boring lives try to cure it by finding a partner. Like having a partner is really gonna make you happy. *Rolls Eyes*
I wish i could be that indefferent. Sadly i spend most of my life in self pity for the reason i've never had a girlfriend o'r sexual experience. I feel like a freak at my age and besides i just want to know how it feels to be loved and desired.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
658 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Thanks for all your comments. I do agree with the fact that you must work on yourself first and be happy with yourself. But that can only take you so far. I have worked on myself quite a lot and feel that I am ready to get back into a relationship with the right person i hope.

Thanks.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,378 Posts
I wish i could be that indefferent. Sadly i spend most of my life in self pity for the reason i've never had a girlfriend o'r sexual experience. I feel like a freak at my age and besides i just want to know how it feels to be loved and desired.
haven't you tried online dating? it's a great thing lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,378 Posts
I have never been shy when it comes to dating. I loved to date. Don't know why. I always met all the guys that I ever dated online though, because I didn't know how to meet guys in real life. lol. that makes me sound like such a freak =\ but yeah I was never shy with the guys I ever went out with or whatever. I just loved dating around. I was really kinda ****ty for a while, I had really low self esteem and I slept with like every guy i ever went out on a date with (although I must say they were ALL really good looking LOL). I dunno. I definitely wasn't shy with all those guys... haha... but anyway after I stopped being a **** I decided to just focus on myself and there was a point in time where I was honestly truly happy. single. not dating. not having sex. Just me, going to school and working and hanging out with the kid. then I met my boyfriend and I've been with him ever since. It always seems to happen when you don't want it and when you stop looking, doesn't it?
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top