Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 20 of 55 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,875 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I've felt pretty much my entire life that I'm "different" than everyone else, apart from my SA. It's almost like I'm an alien consciousness existing in a human body. I just feel like I have no understanding of social interaction. Most of the time I can't think of anything to say to people, nor do I feel the desire to do so. Whenever I'm with a group of people and they're talking with each other it's like they're speaking in a foreign language or something. Sometimes even when I read posts on forums, I can't relate to what's being said. It's like people's thought processes are different than mine. And it's been this way ever since I was a kid, that I've felt like an outcast from society. It's really distressing at times because it makes me feel completely alone.

I hope someone can relate to this, as ironic as that is lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
228 Posts
I've felt pretty much my entire life that I'm "different" than everyone else, apart from my SA. It's almost like I'm an alien consciousness existing in a human body. I just feel like I have no understanding of social interaction. Most of the time I can't think of anything to say to people, nor do I feel the desire to do so. Whenever I'm with a group of people and they're talking with each other it's like they're speaking in a foreign language or something. Sometimes even when I read posts on forums, I can't relate to what's being said. It's like people's thought processes are different than mine. And it's been this way ever since I was a kid, that I've feet like an outcast from society. It's really distressing at times because it makes me feel completely alone.

I hope someone can relate to this, as ironic as that is lol.
I can relate, because I feel the same way. Some people have anxiety, or avoidance that separate them from society/people. That is not my problem.
I have a huge space of nothingness that separates me from others. Nothing comes to my mind when I want to speak. Nothing comes out of my mouth when I attempt to speak. I can't think of anything when people ask me questions. I share almost nothing in common with most people.

A big part of my problem is that I do not comprehend how to be social or how to "talk". When I see people being social, it's like I'm watching my favorite movie. Sometimes I can spend endless minutes just looking at people being social. I enjoy it, and wish I could participate. But I don't know how.

My mind is always blank. I used to think it was only in social situations , but I'm beginning to realize that I've always just observe things, but could never be able to contribute or participate. My mind only takes in, it can not express itself or give out.
 

·
stillborn
Joined
·
1,764 Posts
I just expressed this very thing to my counselor. I feel like I can't relate, like I don't understand people and how they think anymore. People are confusing.
 

·
Got nothin to loseeee but
Joined
·
58 Posts
It is like everyone else knows how to dance, and you're watching and have no idea where to start.
 

·
Losing Ground
Joined
·
2,121 Posts
I sometimes feel like this but when I get drunk I feel the total opposite. It's like a total transformation. I'm not sure why. I mean obviously people become more outgoing when they drink- but it's like I'm not just more outgoing but more connected and I get the whole socializing thing. It makes me feel human, like I belong.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,122 Posts
I've felt pretty much my entire life that I'm "different" than everyone else, apart from my SA. It's almost like I'm an alien consciousness existing in a human body. I just feel like I have no understanding of social interaction. Most of the time I can't think of anything to say to people, nor do I feel the desire to do so. Whenever I'm with a group of people and they're talking with each other it's like they're speaking in a foreign language or something. Sometimes even when I read posts on forums, I can't relate to what's being said. It's like people's thought processes are different than mine. And it's been this way ever since I was a kid, that I've feet like an outcast from society. It's really distressing at times because it makes me feel completely alone.

I hope someone can relate to this, as ironic as that is lol.
I can relate... I feel same way
 

·
Buried at Sea
Joined
·
5,104 Posts
It is like everyone else knows how to dance, and you're watching and have no idea where to start.
Conversations and interactions are very dance-like, aren't they? Everyone else seems to know the steps and where to go next and then I step in and **** up the timing and trip everyone up and things fall apart. Maybe that's why no one wants to dance with me?

Bonus points for good analogy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
37 Posts
I can completely relate. It's scary to think that we don't see or know how to interact when the opportunity is presented. The first two posts explained perfectly how I feel. I just sit, watch and observe how others interact and envy it for myself. I just don't know how to approach others, strike up an intriguing conversation and get people interested in talking to me. I definitely feel distant most times and it's frustrating.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,198 Posts
you are not the only one. i feel almost the same way.

IMO the root of the problem it is because you haven't learned how to handle those situations. like a parrot in a cage. if you let that parrot out in the wild, it will not be able to cope with the rest of the parrots. the parrot might be looking at the other parrots carry their everyday parrot life and be thinking to itself "i can't relate to those parrots in that other tree"

you might have been isolated from the public at a very young age or it must be past along in your genes. one thing for sure though is that you are not the only one who feels that way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
139 Posts
yeah, i can relate more than u know,lol. i feel as is i'm disconnected with everyonelse and can't quite grasp the way that they interact in the world. Everywhere i go i automatically sense that i am different from everyone no matter what i do or say, this isnt a life, i'm just existing as if im transparent.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
544 Posts
Can totally relate lol.

I have this book called by Doreen Virtue (this writer who writes about Angels and stuff). The book's called something like Earth Angels and it says that some people are reincarnated angels, elementals, wise ones or star people. Star people are basically aliens so are not quite of this world (then again nor are angels etc. lol) So yeah. I don't overlly believe in that kind of stuff but I like to think I'm a star person that's why I can't understand anyone and they can't understand me :p

I do feel like there's an invisible barrier between me and people. I want to break through but I don't know if it's even possible :(
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
I feel exactly the same way. I feel like I can't communicate with people. If someone says something, I'm not sure what to say or how to react in response. I don't know whether to laugh, say yes or no, or even what I'm thinking. Sometimes I just laugh because I know a smile/laugh is universal. Going ANYWHERE is a big issue with me. Even going to walmart and checking out, is a big deal because I'm so afraid of talking. I don't have a job, or go to school.

Do any of you just not talk??
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,875 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
I can relate, because I feel the same way. Some people have anxiety, or avoidance that separate them from society/people. That is not my problem.
I have a huge space of nothingness that separates me from others. Nothing comes to my mind when I want to speak. Nothing comes out of my mouth when I attempt to speak. I can't think of anything when people ask me questions. I share almost nothing in common with most people.

A big part of my problem is that I do not comprehend how to be social or how to "talk". When I see people being social, it's like I'm watching my favorite movie. Sometimes I can spend endless minutes just looking at people being social. I enjoy it, and wish I could participate. But I don't know how.

My mind is always blank. I used to think it was only in social situations , but I'm beginning to realize that I've always just observe things, but could never be able to contribute or participate. My mind only takes in, it can not express itself or give out.
Excellent post. I know what you mean about the "nothingness" separating yourself from others. Also, feeling as if you're watching a movie is something I get as well. It's as if everyone is reading from a secret script I've never known about.

It is like everyone else knows how to dance, and you're watching and have no idea where to start.
Great analogy. I'd love to able to dance, both literally and figuratively.

you are not the only one. i feel almost the same way.

IMO the root of the problem it is because you haven't learned how to handle those situations. like a parrot in a cage. if you let that parrot out in the wild, it will not be able to cope with the rest of the parrots. the parrot might be looking at the other parrots carry their everyday parrot life and be thinking to itself "i can't relate to those parrots in that other tree"

you might have been isolated from the public at a very young age or it must be past along in your genes. one thing for sure though is that you are not the only one who feels that way.
Thanks for reminding me I'm not alone. You may be right about the isolation aspect of it. I can't ever remember being around other children before I entered kindergarten. I don't have any siblings, and both my parents never really socialized that much IIRC. It could be that I never learned the skills necessary to relate with others.

Do any of you just not talk??
If I can avoid it, yes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
Some days I feel totally disconnected from the world. Quite often when I'm at work, co-workers ask me questions about my job ("Where can I find X?" or "What do you know about Y?")and even though I recognize the words they're saying none of it makes any sense to me. I tell them "I don't know", but then 5 seconds later I realize what they said is something painfully obvious.

The one that I find the most disturbing is when two (or more people) are having a conversation about something that I have a lot of interest and knowledge in (like my favorite band or a movie I really like) and I make absolutley no effort to join the conversation. It's like damn, do I really have nothing to say about that? Shouldn't I at the very least interject and say "That band/movie/whatever is really awesome!"? The really sickening part is when they try to include me and I pretend I'm not interested! It's no wonder I have no friends, **** my life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10 Posts
i wholeheartedly can relate to this. Sometimes I feel like my understanding of the world and people is so limited, i feel like a robot around a bunch of monkeys. haha. it's like, what do people talk about? i have no idea.
 

·
Powering through.
Joined
·
1,799 Posts
The one that I find the most disturbing is when two (or more people) are having a conversation about something that I have a lot of interest and knowledge in (like my favorite band or a movie I really like) and I make absolutley no effort to join the conversation. It's like damn, do I really have nothing to say about that? Shouldn't I at the very least interject and say "That band/movie/whatever is really awesome!"? The really sickening part is when they try to include me and I pretend I'm not interested! It's no wonder I have no friends, **** my life.
Damn, if I had dollar for every time I was presented with this situation and reacted the same way, I could afford to pay off my student loan. Those are the moments I beat myself up the most over.

I can relate, because I feel the same way. Some people have anxiety, or avoidance that separate them from society/people. That is not my problem.
I have a huge space of nothingness that separates me from others. Nothing comes to my mind when I want to speak. Nothing comes out of my mouth when I attempt to speak. I can't think of anything when people ask me questions. I share almost nothing in common with most people.

A big part of my problem is that I do not comprehend how to be social or how to "talk". When I see people being social, it's like I'm watching my favorite movie. Sometimes I can spend endless minutes just looking at people being social. I enjoy it, and wish I could participate. But I don't know how.

My mind is always blank. I used to think it was only in social situations , but I'm beginning to realize that I've always just observe things, but could never be able to contribute or participate. My mind only takes in, it can not express itself or give out.
My mind is constantly going blank. Its why I always bomb the "class dialogue" in school. I'll know the subject, be well read in it, but I literally won't think of anything to say. I end out following the conversation, totally detached. Or god help me when I'm in a situation that involves group brainstorming. I won't, for example, make simple suggestions like where to eat lunch.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,904 Posts
hmm

Okay, get yourself ready for one massive sweeping generalisation: but every single person this planet probably feels this way at certain times in their life. It's the human condition. Being a fluid, ever evolving individual moving through the world as themselves but also being part of groups.

A lot of people on here have this thing where they think of themselves as "outcasts" and in order to do that they have to assume that every other person knows exactly what to do in social interactions. Now, there are certain medical conditions and disorders that will put people at a distance from social interactions. But I'd be very wary of the argument that's built on: "I assume my parents didn't socialise much and so now I assume that somehow that got passed down through my genes and made me into an outcast". Indeed, everyone on here who has expressed that they are an outcast can't actually be too much of an outcast because quite a few other people expressed the same thing. And what are you going to have: a club full of outcasts?

This idea that you "don't know how to socialise" is where the skills mindset went bonkers.

People assumed the existence of social skills. Now, yes, they can be looked at as skills. They can also be looked at as subjectively selected skills and they can also be looked at as something people do naturally on various levels.

However, some people decided to take the skills thing and go loopy with it. They assumed that because these things were skills that they must have been "off school" or something the day that every single other person on the planet was taught how to socialise. Because we all understand exactly how to make loads of friends, get dates etc and only people with Social Anxiety or Social phobia have problems with socialising, bad days, fears, doubts, insecurities.

You observe people interacting and make a huge amount of assumptions about those people being good at socialising and knowing exactly what to do and then you make yourself feel bad and like an outcast because you assume you don't know to join in. Like there's some sort of secret code that you don't understand. Well, guess what, none of us fully understand the code. Is every single person on this planet popular? If people didn't have problems with relationships and friendships on quite a large scale then why on earth are magazines full of problem pages and why am I training to be a therapist? What would be the point? Surely there's already enough therapists to treat people with Social Anxiety and Social Phobia and those are the only people who have problems interacting with others so what's the point in me training?

One of my biggest influences, Richard Bandler, has a line on this: "if you think you're not good enough for something it's a signal, an opportunity to find out. Because it wouldn't be the first time you've been wrong".
 

·
Permanently Manned!
Joined
·
2,894 Posts
This is an issue in my life right now - and the worst part is, is that it isn't really to do with my SA. I am on completely different wavelengths with everyone i meet, however there are a few people in my life who 'get' me even if they don't completely understand me, which will have to do, cos i'm not about to change myself for anyone.
 
1 - 20 of 55 Posts
Top