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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It's odd but I didn't think I'd be posting here in this part of the forum, but here I am...

I don't know if it's a normal thing or not to become jealous or worried about small things like someone not texting/calling you back when you know they could? I suppose it's partly due to the fact that I am in the beginning of dating a girl and getting to know her better. There is always that chance of rejection happening and her dumping me or w/e and me feeling like crap all over again, so I guess that's a logical enough reason in itself. All I do know is that if I don't ask questions and express how I feel I get eaten up inside from it all the questions, etc. Is this a normal thing when getting to know someone for potential partner? I feel like I should be able to express my feelings and concerns with her and she should be honest with me...

Anyways...

I met her off Match.com, believe it or not. Lately I've been waiting for something inside of me to direct me towards some type of a decision with her, like whether I want her as my girlfriend, etc. I DO want to continue dating her as I feel I still want to know more about her for some reason or the other before I make my next desicion. Because of this, we have been dating a probably about a month now and I am in the transition of figuring how much time we can spend with eachother (ie, figuring her preferences and a balance, etc).

The last couple of nights I've seen her on AIM with her typical "around" away message, which indicates to me she wants to talk, which she usually does when I say hi or something, but lately she has been not responding back. I can tell how long she has been online for and how long she's been idol and so I know when she gets on her computer somewhat. Ironically, these last couple nights I've said hi and no response, and even 10 minutes later she logs off. About an hour ago I get on match and she's on match.com so I figure she's waiting on yahoo for someone off match.com to talk to her. So, being how not knowing drives me insane, I text her on my phone and ask her if she is dating anyone else. Of course, she says no. It's just odd to me how she has been somewhat distant from me by not IMing me back on yahoo when we have been talking everynight for like a month straight. I figured at first it was because she was just tired of talking but then I disovered that when someone goes invisible on their aim (hiding themselves) the first letter of their SN remains capitalized, which typically is not capitalized when names appear offline. So, yeah, had to ask and she said no...

Am I creepy? No. I know myself too well. Am I insecure? Yeah, I guess a little because, let's face it, no one wants to be lied to and rejected. The interesting thing is I usually am not this way and I'm curious as to whether or not this behavior is normal when dating (ie, getting to 'know' someone better)? What do you think? I know it happens a lot, but do you think I feel this way because I don't know her well enough yet? Has anyone ever calmed down after they got to know their girlfriend/boyfriend better? Is this a normal process?

All in all, she stays responsive and open with me. Tomorrow I was going to drive out to see her so I guess what I asked her will be a point of our conversation. I feel it should be. I want to be open with her and I feel she does the same with me, but who knows. I guess I just dont trust her enough yet because I feel I don't know her well enough. I've had girls do 360s on me and flake or breakup with me without warning and so you can't blame me for not trusting her just yet.

Sorry for the long post but I feel better for getting that off my chest...
 

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1. Yes, it is definitely completely normal to feel like this about someone new. You're not alone.

2. No, you're not creepy, but I do think you're thinking about this a bit too much. I know it's really difficult, but I think you should adopt a more fatalistic attitude - if it's not going to happen, it's not, and the sooner you know this the better. Stop "cyber-stalking" her and chill out a bit. I guess when you see her tomorrow you should be able to establish how she feels about you, if she's ready to commit or not. Good luck :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well, dating is over with ehr. She texted me today saying she didn't feel a connection with me and thought we shouldn't see eachotehr anymore. I'm confident that it didn't have a lot to do with what happened last night. I don't think that was a big deal. She was at elast honest with me and let me know...

Honestly, I'm not suprised because this happens a lot. There is nothing wrong with me. I've already been through that whole phase before. I've been told they were disapointed because I didn't hold them at times and numerous things. I thought about it and if I don't feel like cuddling or w/e then it shouldn't be a big deal. I guess this is just how dating works. I really don't know why this same thing seems to keep happening to me but it is and it's frusterating.

If anything I've learned from all the numerous disapointments is that putting too much emotional effort towards something your not sure of is NEVER good.
 
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