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Starlight and moonbeams
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I have no one to talk to. I'm stuck here at home with no friends, no college, no work, just sitting around on the computer all day. I feel so lonely and as if time is passing me by. I watched a tv show that included a romantic part in it, and when it got to the end, I cried for the first time in months. I want a girlfriend so bad, I want friends, I want a social life. I don't want to be stuck here, nearing 30 without ever experienced a kiss or love. I don't even know what love feels like, and that hurts. I'd rather have someone break my heart than have my heart broken by never having someone. :cry
 

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My feelings, exactly...
You're not alone.
The only socializing I get is with my psychologist and psychiatrist. They all middle aged... I haven't had a conversation with a young person for almost 5 years.
Feel as though I was abandoned by everyone to rot in my little room.
As for romantic moments on tv... i can't even watch this anymore... because i know i want to cry, but am unable to do it physically...
 

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Romantic scenes depress me because they show me something I'll never have. I get lonely but I've started posting more in various forums, commenting more on my Facebook friends' photos and status updates, commenting more on my Livejournal friends' journals. It definitely helps reduce my loneliness and depression. I just wish I could find some real life friends to hang out with in person.
 

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I did something very wrong when i was 15... something for wich i should have gotten a jail time, but was forgiven... And now I wonder, what if all this suffering by alienation and madness is a God's punishment for the misdeeds that I have done in the past. Or probably I just punished myself... my own subconscious mind did it to me... for one and only purpose - to suffer like those whom I made suffer in the past.
 

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Hmmm, if you haven't tried it, I would strongly recommend therapy/medication/psychiatric help from a doctor. I take meds, which I got from my psychiatrist obviously, and they help a good bit. Also, talking to someone really can help a lot to get yourself motivated. That's why I recommend therapy, it really helps me a lot to just unload all of my problems and tell someone about them and just have them listen and help me think of ways to fix my problems. :)
 

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You do need friends. Everyone needs friends and people that care about them. Going through this life without people is deadly. About never being in love: I know this is something that haunts you and makes you feel ashamed and worthless. It could be worse. What if you were in the bars every night picking up random women and using them for their bodies to compensate for your loneliness? What if you were one of those women? What if you picked up prostitutes? What if you were hooker walking the street every night? I wonder how 'loved' they feel. They're just objects to everyone. They don't even have an identity and were probably sexually abused as children. What if you were someone in an abusive relationship but you couldn't leave because you were afraid to be alone? What if you were so damaged as a child that you continually allowed people to abuse you because you thought you deserved it?

So what if you've never kissed and fallen in love, that's not what makes you who you are. Imagine if you were the opposite of who are: someone who has promiscuous sex to feel loved. The shame would be even worse. Give yourself credit for the patience you've had. You do need friends though and I do too.
 

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Look on the bright side, at least you don't have to put up with all the negatives of being around extroverted people. And trust me there are many negatives.

I stayed at home for about a year and half. Pretty much didn't leave house throughout this whole period. I was lucky to have my family at home but I was still lonely, very lonely. So I know how you feel. :yes And trust me from what I can see you are a great person, love dude :)

But compared to the anxiety and depression I'm feeling now actually being around people, i look back on my time of solitude with envy, I want that back. Now I can't do anything to combat the anxiety, I have no time to deal with it. Back then I had it somewhat tamed, it didn't have as much of a hold on me....Now i keep on going out with anxiety swirling around in my head and keep on getting burnt...

If only we can find a way to have both solitude when we want, but also find the right people to socialize with on our terms.
 

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You do need friends. Everyone needs friends and people that care about them. Going through this life without people is deadly. About never being in love: I know this is something that haunts you and makes you feel ashamed and worthless. It could be worse. What if you were in the bars every night picking up random women and using them for their bodies to compensate for your loneliness? What if you were one of those women? What if you picked up prostitutes? What if you were hooker walking the street every night? I wonder how 'loved' they feel. They're just objects to everyone. They don't even have an identity and were probably sexually abused as children. What if you were someone in an abusive relationship but you couldn't leave because you were afraid to be alone? What if you were so damaged as a child that you continually allowed people to abuse you because you thought you deserved it?

So what if you've never kissed and fallen in love, that's not what makes you who you are. Imagine if you were the opposite of who are: someone who has promiscuous sex to feel loved. The shame would be even worse. Give yourself credit for the patience you've had. You do need friends though and I do too.
I personally don't want to go to a prostitute... in Russia there is actually sex slavery going on, and human trafficking... I watched about these things on tv and read in press many times, so I imagine what those poor girls feel like... I heard the mob is transporting them to US brothels too...
I feel sorry for them.
 
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