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Sorry this is a little awkward. Lately my friends have been talking about sex a lot, like their experiences and preferences and what not. I'm a virgin, mostly because of my social anxiety. In fact I've never even kissed a boy or had a boyfriend. (Please don't judge me.) So I don't know what to say when they're talking about sex. I just sit there quietly, hoping they won't ask me something. I don't want them to know I'm a virgin. I'm afraid they would think I'm a loser or something. Any advice for what I could say or do, other than be silent?
 

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You're a girl, you can't feel this way.

Kidding...I know exactly what you mean and have no advice unfortunately.. This is probably a top 5, maybe 3, worst SA situation for me.
 

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Sorry this is a little awkward. Lately my friends have been talking about sex a lot, like their experiences and preferences and what not. I'm a virgin, mostly because of my social anxiety. In fact I've never even kissed a boy or had a boyfriend. (Please don't judge me.) So I don't know what to say when they're talking about sex. I just sit there quietly, hoping they won't ask me something. I don't want them to know I'm a virgin. I'm afraid they would think I'm a loser or something. Any advice for what I could say or do, other than be silent?
That sounds better than when my friends brought up how they've had sex just to rub it in my face on purpose.
 

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im in the same boat. didn't help that i grew up in an extremely prudish religious family. everything i know of sex is from online. i've been trying to find a willing female partner to couple with, but none seem interested if you can believe that :)

as for advice, i suppose i could say "if they were your friends, they'd understand regardless." but we know that aint always true. as for what i do, well i'm a guy, so admitting my situation is social suicide. i just go along with the conversation by being vague. i actually got really good at it like:

"and than i flipped her over and stuck it der"
" aww hell ya"
"man im tellin you she was so wet, coulda rode that ***** all night"
"no doubt"
"but 5 minutes later, i look down, and the condoms broken!
"pff story of my life"

k this might not work for you. as i understand girls like details, like who it was, where when how, where's his picture etc. being vague might make you seem like a ho. i honestly don't know whether you have any option other than being honest. you sound young, and it sounds like these girls are new at this too. you know someone's gonna either straight up ask you, or just infer that you are a virgin by your quietness in these talks. so instead how bout you volunteer this info without the interrogation, thereby making it seem like you really aren't ashamed (as of course you shouldn't be). i know its much easier said than done, but believe me there's a good chance they'll quietly respect you for it. also, do it in a non-critical way to make sure you don't appear to be looking down on them for being sexual. join in and ask them what it was like for their first times. that way they won't feel awkward talking about it around you, and will be glad to share their "wise and worldly" experiences with you.
 

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How old are you?

There have been posts on here of people in there 30's who havent had sex yet! It's nothing to be embarrased about that your a virgin, be proud that you are. There are way to many hussys running around with no pants on these days. If you dont want to talk about sex with your friends, get up and leave.
 

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well you could admit to them u are a virgin, if theyre close friends or whatever they should understand. I mean its not a bad thing to be a virgin, ive heard of alot of people saving it for when theyre married..

Otherwise you could just lie convincingly by just saying ur not a virgin but youd rather not talk about it.
 

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Honestly, if your friends were to think you're loser just because you're a virgin, you shouldn't be friends with them. A real friend could care less if you're a virgin or not and would be supportive and helpful.
 

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I am not having sex and I am very happy with it. Yes, I get lonely, but I believe it's something to cherish, being a virgin. Since we struggle a lot with SA, we mainly see the side of it that's like 'a lot of people are doing it, I wish I could...' but outside of the SA world, there are people who regret giving it away. They say it was with the wrong person, at the wrong time... I mean, I just personally think it is beautiful when someone can resist such pressure (even if there's no other option) and be willing to be different. I think it will make it more special if I wait for one person, than to do it all the time with anyone I want. But that's me.

I get frustrated and want to do it too, but ultimately I wait. Regardless of how you feel, I hope you can find a way to be satisfied with yourself. I can definitely see how guys are looked down on more for being a virgin than girls. That sucks.

I don't mind listening to people talk about sex... sometimes. But sometimes, it really is too awkward lol. :b
 

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absurdinista
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My friend has done this a couple times and it always annoys the crap out of me because she knows I'm a virgin and have nothing to add to the conversation. I just view it as inconsiderate, and get kind of pissed.
 

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I guess it is a bit annoying when people are talking about something that you can't relate to. A bit like everyone talking about playing football when you don't. Except that you think that you should.

Maybe develop some interests in other things, so you can think about those things? I don't really know... I don't hang out with anyone so I don't have that issue. But all the time throughout highschool/primary school I was always quiet in groups because I never did things other kids did. I never actually did much of anything else either. I still don't...
 

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Seriously, someone is a better person because they have had sex? Wow, what an amazing skill set. We have such an underpopulation problem. If only more people would have sex, have unwanted pregnancies, STDs, etc. the world would be a better place.
 

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I just feel very awkward when sex is talked about period. I can't say there are many people I want to tune into my sex life, assuming it was active. It seems like random hookups are just about the notch in the belt at best, and as far as telling people about intimate moments with someone I love, well that is something I'd feel like keeping to myself, can't have anybody finding out where I`m hiding the body...... That was uncalled for.
 

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I just simply stay silent. I'm coming up for 29, I'm a man and I'm a virgin, I've never kissed or made advances towards a member of the opposite sex.

Am I bothered?

A little. I suppose it's just part of our animalistic natures that we have such desires.

I'm certainly not bothered what others think of me. I may not be religious but I was raised in a family that placed value on marriage first. This is something I believe in so I would rather take my time to find the right partner (difficult if you have SA) and get married first. I'll just have to wait and see if I ever meet the right someone for me.
 
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