Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 3 of 3 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi there I am new here. I ve been dealing with social anxiety most of my life that it has led me to live a pretty solitary life up until now. I just turned 40. It’s easier for me to live this way since I avoid dealing with people. I can manage dealing with small things like going out to a store or just saying hi to a stranger walking by them. It’s hard for me though when I have to be around the same people constantly though. Unfortunately for me Iam disibility because of some traumatic things that happened to me in the past. Right now there is a friend of my moms that is staying at our place. I hate when people I don’t know really well come into my space. To me my home is my sanctuary a place to escape to. Anyways this person is here for the time being and I feel like Iam freaking out a bit. I feel awkward and uncomfortable. I mostly hide away in the basement (yes I am living with my mom because of my disability). But I can’t completely avoid this person. It’s tiring to present myself as someone different to her it’s like I have to act around her. And I noticed that she notices that Iam uncomfortable around her and I feel guilty and embarrassed because of that. I am afraid to make eye contact so I am always acting weird around her, it’s torture man. I am also like this around my sister in law and brother in law too.Unless your not immediate family I tend to to feel uncomfortable around them. Anyways this has been my world for a long time I ve kind of accepted the fact that I ain’t no social butterfly and I am fine with it I’ll continue to live a solitary life because it just easier than having to deal with people all the time but it’s not ideal. That’s just a little about me and my little rant. I am just tired of feeling like crap around people especially when they come into my space.
 

·
experimental sincerity
Joined
·
1,562 Posts
Hi, I can identify with some of this. I think it's quite common (especially if you're introverted) to want to have your home to yourself. I have someone coming to visit for a couple of days and whilst it's someone I'm really keen to see, I know I'll go into recovery mode as soon as they depart. I also know of a few people who'll go to great lengths not to have builders/plumbers/electricians/etc. come into their home. It can feel difficult even with friends, and your mother's friend is a stranger to you, making it so much harder.

Something I've found helpful when being around other people was to be authentically myself more often. You say that you're trying to present yourself as someone different and I imagine it creates a lot of pressure for you. I've cut down a lot on that kind of play-acting over the years and I've found that not only I feel more relaxed but it makes it easier to click with the right kind of people. You can't present a mask that will be loved by the whole world, no matter how much you try, so you might as well be yourself and find your people in the crowd. If you wish to, of course.

Either way, hope your mother's friend leaves soon and you'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lonewolf777

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,321 Posts
I felt similar to what you describe when I was in a relationship with someone who was a different nationality. We had a one bedroom flat and his parents would come over to visit and they would stay in our living room! It was awful. So stressful. I used to stay out later to avoid seeing them as much as I could. I remember telling a worker at a mental health centre that they were staying with us and him saying "it's your place, if you're not comfortable then you can ask them to leave". I just couldn't do that though. Not being a sociable person and getting tired from being around people all the time is draining.

I feel for you :( I hope this soon passes.
 
1 - 3 of 3 Posts
Top