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....on my sanity. I always feel like I'm on the edge of either bursting into tears, or throwing a *****kitty of a tantrum. It's the sudden bouts of rage that scare me. Sometimes I'll break something, but usually I end up taking it out on myself so I don't break something of value. I know it's the social isolation that's getting to me, the inability to live instead of just existing on the fringes. Sometimes I feel like I'm not even real, like I don't know where I am (literally, not figuratively). It's just really weird, and scary because I really do feel like I'm close to losing it.

I don't know why I wrote this, but it makes me feel better to write it and know that someone will read it. Maybe that means I really do exist, I don't know.
 

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Sounds like when my partner went through menopause but I'm guessing you aren't that old.
Start by organizing and taking control of little things, a routine helps a lot.
Expand to bigger things in your life that you can control. A sense of order and control can help ground you, until you feel ready to slowly expand your circle.

See a GP, they can help guide or medicate your next steps.

Hang in there, and it's better to break some object than take it out on yourself. Maybe buy a bunch of cheap plates or vases from the thrift shop to keep on hand ;)

Good luck
 
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