I'm wondering if anyone can relate: when I'm around very confident people (those who are unafraid to speak up anytime and to anyone etc), I feel like a sidekick next to them, lol. Not a good feeling. But when I'm with people who are not so overly confident, I feel like myself more and that I'm capable of doing things they are.
I don't really have a point to writing this, just wanted to know if anyone else has felt that way and if you found a way to deal with it...
I actually feel the opposite...this applies more at work. when i am working with someone who is confident i feel confident. when i am working with someone who's a little off, i feel very anxious.
I actually feel the opposite...this applies more at work. when i am working with someone who is confident i feel confident. when i am working with someone who's a little off, i feel very anxious.
I don't even feel like a sidekick in that case (which is good and bad or neither). But I do have that quiet-timid-individual-unworthy-of-being-in-one's-presence feeling around outgoing, confident people while sort of assuming the confident, outgoing, leader attitude around other shy people (who I don't seem to encounter too often).
It sure does feel great being in such a minority!
Although I can also get behind what the Crispy Critter said as well.
I fake my confidence but inside I question my decisions all the time. I learned that most people like being around self assured people. If I was to be my true self no one would give me the time of day. Plus I am naturally very talkative so people mistake that for confidence as well.
I feel like this a bit in regards to men and women. The thing is that when it comes to certain matters, I feel confident enough to say something (say in seminar classroom where nobody is getting the point of the text and I will feel antsy enough that I have to say something - the other day in a group I refuted the cocky semi-smart jock because he was missing the point.) I feel on par with them where I should, except in regards to socializing with others and that's why I have had little success in even attempting to meet women.
Confident people just make me realize how bad my lack of self-confidence is but sometimes i do talk to confident people. I guess because I felt like they were friendly. When I'm with less talkative people I actually talk more (but not more than them) and am able to be myself, to a certain degree.
Generally speaking from a psychology standpoint, most people experience what is called mirroring, if you talk to a happy person, it triggers things, and under normal circumstances, you become happier.
This is why most people naturally enjoy talking to confident , happy people. It's like a drug, they get a boost from it and feel better about themselves. Likewise most people avoid talking to sad or angry people because it makes themselves feel negative.
This of course is a generalisation across the board, not the rule.
If you are depressed, even in a normal state other people are going to be more positive and outgoing that you
Comparatively , if you hang around depressed people, your average changes, and your position on the graph goes up.
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