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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey guys,

I'm wondering if anyone can relate: when I'm around very confident people (those who are unafraid to speak up anytime and to anyone etc), I feel like a sidekick next to them, lol. Not a good feeling. But when I'm with people who are not so overly confident, I feel like myself more and that I'm capable of doing things they are.

I don't really have a point to writing this, just wanted to know if anyone else has felt that way and if you found a way to deal with it...
 
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I actually feel the opposite...this applies more at work. when i am working with someone who is confident i feel confident. when i am working with someone who's a little off, i feel very anxious.

I don't know...I understand what you mean i think
 

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I don't even feel like a sidekick in that case (which is good and bad or neither). But I do have that quiet-timid-individual-unworthy-of-being-in-one's-presence feeling around outgoing, confident people while sort of assuming the confident, outgoing, leader attitude around other shy people (who I don't seem to encounter too often).

It sure does feel great being in such a minority!


Although I can also get behind what the Crispy Critter said as well.
 

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I actually feel the opposite...this applies more at work. when i am working with someone who is confident i feel confident. when i am working with someone who's a little off, i feel very anxious.

I don't know...I understand what you mean i think
He feels worse around confident people because of his ego. He's comparing himself to those around him.

You feel more confident around confident people because you aren't comparing yourself to them. The way you approach it is definitely better.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
He feels worse around confident people because of his ego. He's comparing himself to those around him.

You feel more confident around confident people because you aren't comparing yourself to them. The way you approach it is definitely better.
Yeah, I feel the way BlazingLazer described. I don't actively compare myself to confident people. It's just a general feeling that they're somehow better than me because they're more confident...which I suppose means I am comparing myself to them in a way :S
 

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I fake my confidence but inside I question my decisions all the time. I learned that most people like being around self assured people. If I was to be my true self no one would give me the time of day. Plus I am naturally very talkative so people mistake that for confidence as well.
 

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I feel like this a bit in regards to men and women. The thing is that when it comes to certain matters, I feel confident enough to say something (say in seminar classroom where nobody is getting the point of the text and I will feel antsy enough that I have to say something - the other day in a group I refuted the cocky semi-smart jock because he was missing the point.) I feel on par with them where I should, except in regards to socializing with others and that's why I have had little success in even attempting to meet women.
 

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Confident people just make me realize how bad my lack of self-confidence is but sometimes i do talk to confident people. I guess because I felt like they were friendly. When I'm with less talkative people I actually talk more (but not more than them) and am able to be myself, to a certain degree.
 

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I always fell like crap around confident people and then I end up I hating the person and having fantasies of cutting out their tongue.
 

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Generally speaking from a psychology standpoint, most people experience what is called mirroring, if you talk to a happy person, it triggers things, and under normal circumstances, you become happier.
This is why most people naturally enjoy talking to confident , happy people. It's like a drug, they get a boost from it and feel better about themselves. Likewise most people avoid talking to sad or angry people because it makes themselves feel negative.

This of course is a generalisation across the board, not the rule.

If you are depressed, even in a normal state other people are going to be more positive and outgoing that you :)
Comparatively , if you hang around depressed people, your average changes, and your position on the graph goes up.
 

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I always fell like crap around confident people and then I end up I hating the person and having fantasies of cutting out their tongue.
You should probably work on that attitude, that doesn't sound like a healthy way to live, or much fun for that matter =p.
 
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