Fear of REJECTION
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Rejection from the opposite sex is my SA, or at least the core of it, so you are not alone. Guess it is a side effect of being ever so subtly told I was ugly through school etc which in turn damaged my self esteem and confidence enough to think that no chick will ever find me attractive and therefore there is no point in trying because it will always lead to rejection.
Irrational (specially since I had a gf), but that's how SA works
Irrational (specially since I had a gf), but that's how SA works
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Rejection is a huge part of my SA. I fear that people won't like me, and will say or do something to hurt me. A lot of this stems from body images - I think I'm not that good looking, and I can't see why someone would be attracted to me. Maybe at one point in my life, they would have, but right now, no.
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I think that's one thing which gets ignored a bit, working on the self esteem issues first before trying to tackle the fear head on by talking to people with the fear of rejection, because as long as you still see yourself in a negative light, you will always think of others looking down on you. So i think first forming a more positive image of yourself before moving onto the SA side of things is probably more successful and a better way to approach it. But that's just my thoughts.
I just posted this on another thread, actually. I'm definitely afraid of rejection from anyone. Guess it comes from elementry/primary school, where kids were kids and were mean to me (they were afterwards, too, but it started there). I learned to sense rejection and withdrew before it was full-blown rejection, and now I think I'm imagining rejection half the time. Not a good cycle, but it feeds into my SA, so it's hard to stop.
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rejection is a huge part of my sa, and its not just rejection by people close to me but more so rejection by strangers that scares me. Its really bad with shopping, i don't know why but i get so anxious when im at target or somewhere just trying to buy pudding. it is so dumb to think someone is going to hate me or say something hurtful to me for buying pudding but i do. i get myself so freaked out that sometimes i just sit in my car, or if the parking lot looks to "full" i'll just go home.
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Yes rejection is a big fear of mine. I think it's because both of my parents rejected me and I learned to expect that from everyone else.
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That's my main fear as well. Either they'll secretly reject me with all their cool friends or just flat out in my face. I guess since it has happened a lot in life.
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I have learned to love it, like green beans.
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I am the exact same way. I'm so worried people will not like me. If I find out someone doesn't like me I immediately start to shut myself off from everyone and I begin to keep to myself even more, because I start wallowing in self-pity and I self-loath
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Same here. I'd like to think that I dont, but I have a huge fear or rejection, from pretty much everyone including friends, family, ppl at work etc. I want to think I don't need anyone else but that's BS. I will always assume I am going to be rejected or that the people I know do not like me for whatever reason. And I think I am actually usually right in my thinking. Either that or I just put some kind of self-fullfilling prophecy into motion. But whatever.
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I fear rejection in every form. The biggest being from the opposite sex. I have this grand delusion played out in my head that I ask some guy out, he rejects me and the rest of my life is spent avoiding embarrassment.
It would probably never happen, but I'm way to paranoid to take the fall. Isn't that the risk we take when we take any opportunity in life?
It would probably never happen, but I'm way to paranoid to take the fall. Isn't that the risk we take when we take any opportunity in life?
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yeah I feel the same as everyone here, its a big part of my SA, fear that people hate me when I walk out anywhere, they hate me im ugly, not normal, if they look at me straight away I fear they hate me. I fear that every other girl (dosent matter who they are) look pretty or normal but I fear the opposite sex hate me because I dont look good or look better then other girls. not just with that but in general people think oh look at her shes a reject for life, or she has no friends, she cant make friends like other people can. but the biggest fear is if im stuck in a group like a work group or a uni class I could never face that I fear that everyone in the group will hate me, think im weird, talk behind my back, and treat me like crap
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I know I already posted but I would like to add that my fear of rejection is so bad that I just assume everyone I meet hates me until I find out otherwise.
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the thing is one can only take so much rejection until they become desensitized to it and not even try anymore... but not even attempting as to avoid getting rejected; does not work, because then you feel guilt for not trying. I think the lesson with the fear of rejection is to learn to accept rejection as something that will happen to everyone, you included. You can be a billionaire or a pauper and rejection in some form of it will occur in your lifetime. We play out scenarios in our head about how negative something will be before it even happens ; it's that over thinking that causes the fear. What I usually do is try not to have such high expectations when meeting new people; thinking three steps ahead... either they like me or they don't. There's like 8 billion people in this world, someone has to dislike me. Ive been rejected before and sure it sucks. The person you'd like to meet may not be the one for you; It could be you, it could be them... You will never know til you find out.
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I have this too- not that they hate though, just that they won't like me or want anything to do with me- but it doesn't go away ever even if they act friendly with me, and I am always looking for some sign that they are going to reject me. You're still young tho- I don't know your whole story of course, but I'm 30 and I've been rejected so many times it's like I just take for granted it'll come from everyone I know/meet sooner or later
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i think this way too. makes it hard to make friends. i also think that just me thinking that people hate me makes them actually hate me. not sure if that makes sense
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