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Full circle, new highway
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I heard from someone that you should not let people see how you really are on the inside (angry, pained, frustrated, despising, rebellious, etc) but should rather put on a fake happy face in order to set them at ease, or to let them accept you rather than be uncomfortable around you and not want to hang out with you anymore.

I think that this person was an extrovert who was sincerely trying to help me but was misinformed as to the best way to do this thereby not giving me wisdom.

Anyway, I told this person that I don't want to cater to the desires and comforts of other people especially if other people could care less about my needs and my comforts. I am not trying to make people like me. I am trying to be me without putting on a farce (even though I sometimes find myself still putting on a mask in order to let people be entertained a bit, and impressed by my "wonderful" personality). On the other hand, I found a bit of truth in this person's statement in that we all still try to put our best foot forward when meeting a person we like for the first time and almost forget that we even have social problems.

After we get to know that person, if they are interested in us too, we start relaxing back into who we really are and the person sees the side of us that is SA and is appalled that we have changed so much. I think a lot of people find out that they haven't married who they fell in love with because the person they fell in love with wasn't really the original person at all. It was their own ideal husband or wife projected onto the other person and the other person's desperation in keeping this farce so that things would work out between the two of them. In the end, one person stayed who they are the whole time and the other person eventually went back to who they were to the distress of the other person.

In the end, it is much less popular when you are a hurt person and show it wherever you go, being honest, real, and genuine, rather than fooling people into thinking that you are someone you are not.

Thoughts anyone?
 

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Little Winged One
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6,445 Posts
This is very interesting to me-I tend to go round and round about it a lot.-Society rewards the superficial and shallow.- Putting on the cheerful face and speaking in happy little platitudes is very much expected.- So much so,that many people never realize they're not being who they really are.- I've often thought that maybe part of the problem with us is that we tend to be very poor actors. I would rather see someone as they really are than never feel that I knew them at all. I've never understood the point of relationships where it's not acceptable to be yourself. I do think I'm in the minority though- I've often felt the pressure to "assimilate" and it's caused me to really hate people that I view as fakes. If you manage to find even a couple of people who accept the real you,I think you should consider yourself lucky!
 

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Full circle, new highway
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365 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I think that with my background in performing I was conditioned to accept the applause and accolades and attention that I received as positive. So, with the practical mind that I had, I convinced myself that being this happy-go-lucky, positive, energetic, and extroverted person was the way to be. But my own emotions, scars, and wounds wouldn't have it.

I found that the real you will always wrestle with the fake crap on the surface until the stronger side resides as "king of the mountain." On the other hand, I have found that in certain moments or situations the fake side will have a bit more power and "oomph" to a dominant position in comparison with my real side and I will find myself acting all giddy and positively aggressive at times. However, like a neglected child that throws a tantrum in order to get attention, my real side will make sure that it interferes and ruins all chances of enjoyment from the fake aspects of this dramatic side.

In a way, the real "me" is like a truth serum. So many people are running away from the real "me."
 
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