[Tangent]

Firstly, did anyone's parents notice on their own that you had SA, or did you need to explain to them?

Secondly, did anyone have any real problems trying to explain this to their parents?

I am 18 and live with my mother and step-father, though I never talk to the latter. My mother refuses to see that there is anything wrong, even though I sometimes go 2 weeks or more without leaving the house, even though I cannot answer the door and sometimes cannot even go in to shops, even though I have no friends...she is quite old and had a rural upbringing, I am not sure she understands what is "normal" for a teenager in a modern urban setting.

I tried to explain that I thought the problems I was having were a result of my dyspraxia, but when I tried that she said I was a hypochondriac, "wallowing in self-pity", "trying to get attention" and that I had been "reading too much on the internet".

If I am to get a social anxiety disorder diagnosis then I will need her to understand rather than try to obstruct, so how can I explain it without sounding like more of a hypochondriac? She seems to think that because I have only started mentioning this to her recently, it must have only started recently so I am just having a "phase" of complaining or something, however this started years ago, I just never thought to mention it to her before as I did not know it had a medical name and might be treatable.

 

[Dempsey]

Is it important for her to understand?

 

[Tangent]

Is it important for her to understand?

I think so, I have so little social experience I am not even sure how to go about arranging an appointment with the local mental health place on my own...I'd end up calling them and then freezing up with anxiety...how ironic. I really need a socially experienced person to ask for advice on these sorts of things - and I do not know anybody else.

And besides, since she is going to realise if I start trying to get a diagnosis and/or treatment anyway, things will be a lot better in terms of domestic peace if I can get her to understand.

 

[tutliputli]

Firstly, did anyone's parents notice on their own that you had SA, or did you need to explain to them?

Secondly, did anyone have any real problems trying to explain this to their parents?

I am 18 and live with my mother and step-father, though I never talk to the latter. My mother refuses to see that there is anything wrong, even though I sometimes go 2 weeks or more without leaving the house, even though I cannot answer the door and sometimes cannot even go in to shops, even though I have no friends...she is quite old and had a rural upbringing, I am not sure she understands what is "normal" for a teenager in a modern urban setting.

I tried to explain that I thought the problems I was having were a result of my dyspraxia, but when I tried that she said I was a hypochondriac, "wallowing in self-pity", "trying to get attention" and that I had been "reading too much on the internet".

If I am to get a social anxiety disorder diagnosis then I will need her to understand rather than try to obstruct, so how can I explain it without sounding like more of a hypochondriac? She seems to think that because I have only started mentioning this to her recently, it must have only started recently so I am just having a "phase" of complaining or something, however this started years ago, I just never thought to mention it to her before as I did not know it had a medical name and might be treatable.

Sorry to hear it's been so hard for you to talk to your parents about this. I also find it incredibly difficult to talk to my parents about SA. Do you feel that you could make a doctor's appointment and talk to a GP about it before trying to fully explain to your parents? This is what I did and I think the fact that I'd seen a doctor and had been diagnosed helped my parents understand that this was something serious. It forced them to listen and accept that I had a problem. When I first I found out about SA online and tried to discuss it with my parents, my mother pretty much said 'if you don't have a mental illness you can get one on the internet', and that was it. My father is more understanding but has said he thinks I need to 'just pull myself out of it' and that I scapegoat my problems on things that happened in the past. They have paid for me to have CBT and will listen and be supportive when I'm visibly upset, but I don't think there's any way they can completely understand how frustrating and disruptive SA is, no matter how much I talk about it. Unfortunately, people with SA often have to instigate the process of getting treatment alone, because it's so hard to explain the problem and to get friends/ family to understand. Your GP is probably the first person to see about getting diagnosed and treated. If you need any advice, feel free to ask.

 

[Seth26]

I showed my mum the SA video on youtube, the first one that comes up when you search 'social anxiety'. You sound young, you have to start by seeing your GP, I wish I'd done something years ago, but i didn't know SA existed, I just knew something was wrong.Parents don't want to think there is anything not 'normal' about their kids, if they don't believe you, it's down to you to try to get help. Or you can end up 26 or whatever and wondering what the hell happened. The 'pain' of seeing your GP will be a lot less than the 'pain' of doing nothing.

 

[miminka]

Well what happened was, I had to tell my mother that I was going for a psychosis (or something like that) to get an official diagnosis for an anxiety disorder. So I think that was the first time she'd ever been faced with the notion that I may have an anxiety disorder. She kind of just shrugged and went, "Oh...". I was mildly irked by her obvious lack of emotion but it's better that way than me having to explain it.

 

[miminka]

Oh by the way, I read your blog! I really like it!

 

[Tangent]

Thank you so much, everyone, for your kind and informative responses. I will certainly try to put this advice to practical use