[Monroee]

I'm sure all of you have had to struggle to try to explain SA to people who don't have it. Such as family, friends and therapists.

I would like to know what you said to try to make them understand what you go through. I've been trying to explain my feelings to my parents for a long time but I never seem to find the right words to express it.

What are some of the explanations you guys give? It might help me be able to figure out an appropriate way to explain.

 

[shadowmask]

Just show them some online info about it. You could even let them look at this site. If you try to explain it yourself, they'll just brush you off. At least that was my experience.

 

[Monroee]

It's not so much that they brush me off... they do acknowledge that I have a problem, I've been to a therapist for it before. About 5 sessions and then she told me she couldn't help me anymore and I failed to find another.

I can't seem to formulate any coherent explanations as to what is going on in my head. I'm terrified of getting a job and for some reason, horrified at ordering food at fast food restaurants. (Strange? I know, I know, I have no idea why.) Obviously, those are not the only moments where I get SA, but they do happen to be the moments where my parents notice me refusing to interact with people.

They wish to know why I refuse to go and order myself a burger and fries. I have no idea what to tell them. If it were as simple as saying 'Oh, I'm afriad of them judging me', I would have said that, but it's not that simple. I get obsessive thoughts about what 'could' happen in those situations. I obsessively review my actions and other people's actions when an incident occurs, and because of that, I avoid situations to the death. It's rediculous and I know my parents are completely confused when I try to explain it.

Somehow I don't think showing this site would help. I've read the information on this site, there's bullets listing the description of SA but to an outsider it would simply spell out 'shyness'.

 

[Josie]

When I tried to explain it to my dad, I asked him if he ever had an irrational fear that caused him anxiety. I told him that this irrational fear and anxiety is what I feel, but somehow, I'm not sure the message got across. In any case, you might want to try approaching it from that angle, so perhaps they can at least understand what you feel, if not why you feel it.

I've also written down every thought I have had looking back on a situation where I felt anxiety, but I didn't show it to anyone, so I'm not sure whether that would work. I'm sure many people would just read them and dismiss them with something like, "Oh, that's very unlikely to happen, don't worry! No one's noticing you!" It's a nice sentiment, but doesn't help much. Another downside to explaining via a thought list is that it doesn't work well to describe those times where you don't particularly think anything, you just feel the anxiety.

 

[letitrock]

I'm sure all of you have had to struggle to try to explain SA to people who don't have it. Such as family, friends and therapists.

****, no I haven't had to struggle to tell people about my SA, cuz I've never tried, and I never will.

 

[DSPFrat]

I've been telling my parents a lot recently cuz they've been getting on me about getting a job...but it's like talking to a wall. I've told friends about it, but unless they deal with it they never gonna fully understand regardless of what you tell them.