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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A couple weeks ago I bumped into an old female friend of mine: we quickly hit it off and exchanged AIM s/ns. I planned on asking her out when she logged on, but she was never online. To make matters urgent, she was leaving the country at the end of the month to study abroad. I tried looking for her phone number to call her up, but I couldn't find the correct one. Things looked very bleak.

Finally, she was online earlier today. We had a nice conversation over AIM and I decided to ask her at the end of it. First, I asked her if I could call her up (1. to get her number, 2. I wanted to hear her voice/tone) to ask her a question. I was extremely nervous and to make the situation worse my father walked into the room right when I was getting ready to dial her up. I had to tell him to leave the room and I'm sure he wondered why my voice was shaking. Once I called her up, however, despite a minor slip up (I accidentally pulled the phone off the table) my voice sounded normal and I was completely comfortable talking to her. More than that, I enjoyed myself!

When I popped the question, she enthusiastically stated that it was a good idea and we made the plans. Afterwards, we talked about various things and then I excused myself.

I had been worrying about this conversation for at least a week. I was afraid it wouldn't happen or if it did that I would make a fool out of myself. Now, I can't believe how much I blew it out of proportion. I'll be looking forward to seeing her later this week.

Note: This is quite a triumph because a year ago I had severe phone phobia. I never used the phone for anything and could barely talk to strangers over it. This conversation came off very naturally and I had no problems whatsoever. Just in case I made up a script beforehand, which I didn't need to use once. If you have trouble using phones, take it from me that it can be overcome.

(Background for this story can be found here and here.)
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
It's over now and I don't think I've ever felt as unsettled in my life. The "date" (wasn't really a date...no romantic vibe) wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. She seemed to enjoy herself, but I found myself holding up the majority of the conversation.

We went to a movie and on the way there (she was driving) the conversation was small talk. It was a pretty nice back and forth at the beginning, but after awhile I ran out of things to say. She didn't talk as much either. Fortunately, I was giving her directions so there wasn't total silence. This made me very nervous. Was the entire evening going to go like this? We seemed to be at a standstill.

After the movie (which sucked), I asked her if she wanted to get something to drink. We decided upon an all night diner. On the way there it took a little pushing, but the conversation picked up considerably. She talked a bit more and we seemed to connect. Once at the diner, however, I was doing most of the talking. I'd allow pauses and breaks, but she just wasn't picking them up.

The thing is that she never seemed like she didn't want to be there or that she disliked me. She laughed a lot and occasionally talked very spiritedly. But the entire event was dissapointing. She could've been more engaged than she was. Then again she's always been fairly reserved, so maybe I'm reading too much into this? She seemed a bit nervous and she could've just been shy. We haven't seen each other in nearly two years and she could've had difficulty talking to me because of that distance. I've had plenty of moments like that. Maybe I was talking too much? I talked almost exclusively about her (and some general interest topics), but she never asked me about myself. I kept waiting and it never happened. Finally, I had to do it myself because I was running out of things to talk about!

Our "date" was anti-climatic. We seemed to hit it off more over the Internet and on the phone. Maybe it was the anxiety of the event? I don't think she has SA, but she has always struck me as a little shy. I don't know...I just don't really like how things turned out (mostly because it's difficult to read her). I'll find out later this month, though. I suggested that we do something again before she leaves (studying abroad) and I mentioned that she has my phone number and other ways to contact me. The ball's in her court now...we'll see what happens.

Beyond that this is a HUGE accomplishment. She could've been repulsed by me and it would still be major. Not only is this my first "date" (going somewhere with a member of the opposite sex that I could potentially be involved with romantically), but it's a huge leap forward in a long struggle with SA. I was almost completely anxiety free through the actual event (the anticipation wasn't as bad as it could've been).

Regardless of the actual "success" of the event, I'm going to chalk this up as a triumph :banana !!!
 

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User said:
It's over now and I don't think I've ever felt as unsettled in my life. The "date" (wasn't really a date...no romantic vibe) wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. She seemed to enjoy herself, but I found myself holding up the majority of the conversation.

We went to a movie and on the way there (she was driving) the conversation was small talk. It was a pretty nice back and forth at the beginning, but after awhile I ran out of things to say. She didn't talk as much either. Fortunately, I was giving her directions so there wasn't total silence. This made me very nervous. Was the entire evening going to go like this? We seemed to be at a standstill.

After the movie (which sucked), I asked her if she wanted to get something to drink. We decided upon an all night diner. On the way there it took a little pushing, but the conversation picked up considerably. She talked a bit more and we seemed to connect. Once at the diner, however, I was doing most of the talking. I'd allow pauses and breaks, but she just wasn't picking them up.

The thing is that she never seemed like she didn't want to be there or that she disliked me. She laughed a lot and occasionally talked very spiritedly. But the entire event was dissapointing. She could've been more engaged than she was. Then again she's always been fairly reserved, so maybe I'm reading too much into this? She seemed a bit nervous and she could've just been shy. We haven't seen each other in nearly two years and she could've had difficulty talking to me because of that distance. I've had plenty of moments like that. Maybe I was talking too much? I talked almost exclusively about her (and some general interest topics), but she never asked me about myself. I kept waiting and it never happened. Finally, I had to do it myself because I was running out of things to talk about!

Our "date" was anti-climatic. We seemed to hit it off more over the Internet and on the phone. Maybe it was the anxiety of the event? I don't think she has SA, but she has always struck me as a little shy. I don't know...I just don't really like how things turned out (mostly because it's difficult to read her). I'll find out later this month, though. I suggested that we do something again before she leaves (studying abroad) and I mentioned that she has my phone number and other ways to contact me. The ball's in her court now...we'll see what happens.

Beyond that this is a HUGE accomplishment. She could've been repulsed by me and it would still be major. Not only is this my first "date" (going somewhere with a member of the opposite sex that I could potentially be involved with romantically), but it's a huge leap forward in a long struggle with SA. I was almost completely anxiety free through the actual event (the anticipation wasn't as bad as it could've been).

Regardless of the actual "success" of the event, I'm going to chalk this up as a triumph :banana !!!
WOW thats is SOOOOOOOOOO a triumph! good going! u kept up a conversation, you called her!
u didn't even have anticipatory anxiety! when i went on a date i almost left before it started i guess i always liked adrenaline deep down because i did show up eventually :lol
 

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User,

All right - three boogies! :boogie :boogie :boogie!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Sweetangel said:
WOW thats is SOOOOOOOOOO a triumph! good going! u kept up a conversation, you called her!
u didn't even have anticipatory anxiety! when i went on a date i almost left before it started i guess i always liked adrenaline deep down because i did show up eventually :lol
Well, I did have anticipatory anxiety, but I managed to control it pretty well. The worst part was that my Mom was making a bigger deal out of it than I wanted her to.

Looking back, the date went a lot better than I initially thought. We probably needed a first date just to break the ice and I'd expect the second one to go a lot better. There's a lot of stuff I wanted to ask her, but it never really came up.

I think she is interested in me (at least as a friend) because she has initiated conversation over the internet each time I see her online. I'm probably going to ask her if she wants to do something again soon, but I'm not going to sweat it if she says no. She's very busy right now getting ready to leave the country, and I'd expect her to not have the time. We'll see what happens....

(Thanks for the encouragement Sweetangel and millenniumman75.)
 

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Sweetangel said:
WOW thats is SOOOOOOOOOO a triumph! good going! u kept up a conversation, you called her!
u didn't even have anticipatory anxiety! when i went on a date i almost left before it started i guess i always liked adrenaline deep down because i did show up eventually :lol
Well, I did have anticipatory anxiety, but I managed to control it pretty well. The worst part was that my Mom was making a bigger deal out of it than I wanted her to.

Looking back, the date went a lot better than I initially thought. We probably needed a first date just to break the ice and I'd expect the second one to go a lot better. There's a lot of stuff I wanted to ask her, but it never really came up.

I think she is interested in me (at least as a friend) because she has initiated conversation over the internet each time I see her online. I'm probably going to ask her if she wants to do something again soon, but I'm not going to sweat it if she says no. She's very busy right now getting ready to leave the country, and I'd expect her to not have the time. We'll see what happens....

(Thanks for the encouragement Sweetangel and millenniumman75.)
you're welcome.. hey my mom n dad were also uknow.. blah blah blah .. u gotta ignore it. sounds like she likes u but probably wont make a serious relationship due to the fact she's leaving the country so it more probable she'll choose to be friends .. update us on what happens
 

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The worst part was that my Mom was making a bigger deal out of it than I wanted her to.
Heh, my Mom does that, I hate it, embarasses me. If I ever go out on a date, I don't think I'll even mention it to my parents.

Congratulations though, thats a huge accomplishment.
 
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