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Little Winged One
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I mean nobody wants a gloom and doomer around anyway. - I just can't put on the smile and pep and "joy of living" routine that's required. Of course having friends might actually help me to be happier - but how do I get friends if I'm depressed? It's an awful cycle,I think I'm one of the rare people who would find a depressed person more enjoyable to be around because I could be myself. Anyone else feel this way?? Why can't I live next door to a Woody Allen type?!?
 

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crazy
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i kind of feel that way sometimes. the people i tend to get along with the best have a mixture of depression and happiness, kind of both extremes. otherwise, half of me ends up feeling lonely!
 

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Little Winged One
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Exactly!!-Like a huge part of you must remain hidden which only makes you feel more isolated. If you can't be yourself in a relationship,then what's the point?
 

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Yes I feel this way. With my one friend, I'm so often depressed but I try not to be otherwise she would not want to spend any time at all with me (she hardly does anyway). Occasionally I can be a happier self with her because I've known her so long, since before I became a complete depressive. But I don't think I'd want to put anyone else through my depression, my family have it bad enough. Or maybe I should spread the misery? lol.

I don't feel I deserve any friends when I'm so miserable and no one is so horrible that they deserve to be around me but I too think that I'd perhaps wouldn't be so depressed if I had friends, but at the moment, happy people usually make me depressed.
 

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That's very true. I got a message from an old school friend on friends reunited but I feel so down and depressed at the moment I would not dare meet him in case I broke down in front of him. People dislike misery in the same way they dislike being around anxious people.
 

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She-Wolf
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certainly. i feel like such a downer at times and in certain situations when i'd be hanging out with friends for a long time i end up feeling, not exactly depressed, but just apathetic and reclusive and i don't want to even try to talk and i just sit there. people are used to it but i still really dislike myself for it, and it's hard to change.
last night i went out to a friend's then a big party and i had started drinking at 7:30pm and by the time 2am rolled around i was just in that kind of mood where i felt a bit numb and i wasn't feeling good and couldn't enjoy myself or even fake it. i ended up leaving at like 4am, because of laziness maybe and waiting for a friend to join me for food after but not wanting to drag him away. i always tend to feel very guilty about it and always unwanted.

i also feel like i'm too depressed (even though i'm hardly am anymore) to just have close friends or be in a relationship. i feel like burdening them when i open up about thoughts related to my negativity, insecurities, stupid fears, etc. i would just always seem so self-deprecating and it would get irritating after a while. i still open up about that **** occasionally but i try not to go too far with constantly mentioning it in regular conversation. it would get tiring eventually.
(though sometimes when i do casually mention it regularly i don't mean it in a depressing way, and i'm more poking fun at myself but i don't know if it would always come off like that if i seem too serious in the first place)
 

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Buried at Sea
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I feel like that all the time. And not wanting to see people very often (only when depression/anxiety doesn't have me confined to the house) makes it even harder to keep any friends you happen to make.
 

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Born Of Blotmonað
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19,064 Posts
certainly. i feel like such a downer at times and in certain situations when i'd be hanging out with friends for a long time i end up feeling, not exactly depressed, but just apathetic and reclusive and i don't want to even try to talk and i just sit there. people are used to it but i still really dislike myself for it, and it's hard to change.
This is me exactly. I feel like a downer when I'm with friends much of the time because I'm either anxious, or in a depressive mood, or both. I feel like being like that while with people is a burden to what could be their enjoyment of whatever happens to be going on. I too get this sort of apathy after a bit of trying to chat & then hit the quiet reclusive mode as well. Overall all of these things make me feel bad about myself & it's one reason I isolate myself. I can't really handle extended friend gatherings anymore but I'm getting a few more calls now that people are realizing I'm around

i also feel like i'm too depressed (even though i'm hardly am anymore) to just have close friends or be in a relationship. i feel like burdening them when i open up about thoughts related to my negativity, insecurities, stupid fears, etc. i would just always seem so self-deprecating and it would get irritating after a while. i still open up about that **** occasionally but i try not to go too far with constantly mentioning it in regular conversation. it would get tiring eventually.
I struggle with opening up to because when I do I can really ramble for a while & I don't feel better having handed off some of the weight of my load to someone else. I also don't want to be annoying or burdensome with my issues so I rarely divulge completely so others

Whereas some here have trouble making new friends(I may well have this issue too but I've not tried of late) my main issue is old friends. In part due to SA I've become & am becoming more reserved/introverted which limits how much I want to meet up with those who actually care to see me. It's damaging to some of these friendships because it may seem as though I don't care rather than the true inner struggle I'm having with myself
 

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speechless
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I feel really unlikeable when i'm so unhappy & severely depressed so i isolate & don't talk with anyone.
 

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speechless
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In part due to SA I've become & am becoming more reserved/introverted which limits how much I want to meet up with those who actually care to see me. It's damaging to some of these friendships because it may seem as though I don't care rather than the true inner struggle I'm having with myself
Same with me!
 

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Frequently.

And yeah, I'd just as soon be around someone else who suffers from depression (as long as we don't bring each other down).
I agree.

I've had a few major episodes of depression. When that happens, your life tends to fall apart. Generally! Consequently, you don't have much of a life. Sometimes, you have no life. You may spend the majority of your time in bed.

Not having a life, is a major hurdle forging friendships. Having a friend, a real friend as opposed to a fair weather friend, can make a huge difference. Unless as you say, you start wallowing in your depression. I think a little bit of that is OK, though.
 

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i kind of feel that way sometimes. the people i tend to get along with the best have a mixture of depression and happiness, kind of both extremes. otherwise, half of me ends up feeling lonely!
I agree. People who have to have a "happy face" on all the time aren't comfortable to be around.
 

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A Living Woman
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Well being depressed surely can't be your only quality. You need friends who will see your other characteristics and appreciate those and who wouldn't mind helping you see some positivity in your own life. You'll find them, or they'll find you, if you give it a chance.
 

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i kind of feel that way sometimes. the people i tend to get along with the best have a mixture of depression and happiness, kind of both extremes. otherwise, half of me ends up feeling lonely!
I agree. I like people who are genuine so that I can be myself, whether I'm feeling good or bad, otherwise it's just an empty, pointless interaction and I feel even lonelier than if I were just alone.
 

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I like people who are genuine so that I can be myself, whether I'm feeling good or bad, otherwise it's just an empty, pointless interaction and I feel even lonelier than if I were just alone.
That's exactly how I feel. But at the same time, I have a hard time being open with people.
 

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Still Running
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Going deep

When I was younger I got those goin deep withdrawn feelings in social gatherings. It lasted way up into my late 20's I guess. Treatment with antidepressants helped me with that and I still find my head at times wanting to go there, there being where my mind can soak up thoughts about what is going on around me, but not react to them or respond unless confronted. I don't go to social gatherings at all anymore, even if I had an opportunity to. I think it becomes us that are too deep for everyday conversation on a large scale; ie, keeping up with all the hype and conversations in a large group.
 

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When I get depressed, I don't feel like interacting with anyone. So naturally that limits how much of a friend I can be. Many times, I reject those who try to befriend me, even though it may hurt like hell. But I don't want to drag them into my misery. If I'm going to be a friend, I want to be able to emotionally support those I care about, not just feed off of them. I enjoy having friends, and I can be a good one myself, but I need to work on my own life first.
 

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I mean nobody wants a gloom and doomer around anyway. - I just can't put on the smile and pep and "joy of living" routine that's required. Of course having friends might actually help me to be happier - but how do I get friends if I'm depressed? It's an awful cycle,I think I'm one of the rare people who would find a depressed person more enjoyable to be around because I could be myself. Anyone else feel this way?? Why can't I live next door to a Woody Allen type?!?
I've lost all my friends... I think my depression has alot to do with it... which just makes me more depressed. :sus
 
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