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I'm having a hard time believing that I'm not doing everything horribly wrong at work. I have to send out lots of email requests, and I work so long on each one, not trying to make it perfect (although that's what it seems like), but trying to make it acceptable in my mind. I just don't believe I'm capable of sending emails out in a "normal" (not fretting over wording for and hour plus) way. I think I'm going to make mistakes, or offend someone, or some other disaster, and I freeze up and it becomes this impossible task. It's so frustrating. Arg.

But in sending them, I always have this heavy pervasive feeling like I shouldn't be contacting people, or that I'm doing something terribly wrong and just can't recognize it. It's hard to describe or even get a clear idea of in my mind, but the entire process feels awful to me, even when I get positive responses. I wish I could tackle this problem in a rational and methodical way, but I just don't know where to start. It's gotta be something to do with self-esteem, but I don't know how to improve on it. And I've been doing it for a while, and it's no easier over time as far as I can tell.

Actually, it likely that by always taking that long, and being that careful, when sending emails that I am reinforcing the behavior that I need to do it. I have no experience just sending emails after a quick proofread, so I have no basis to believe I can do that. Maybe I just need to be daring :) I do feel better posting this though, so thanks to anyone who read my rantings. Sometimes with social anxiety, it feels like I'm trapped alone in a cage of my own oppressive thoughts, and just trying to communicate them makes me feel less alone.
 

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Yup, I can relate... I do that with personal emails too. Re-re-re-reading, wondering if everything sounds "right" and if anything could possibly be construed as rude or something.

Maybe you can sit down and make a bunch of canned templates for various situations from which you can cut and paste and change the details to compose your work emails?
 

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I do this too. And sometimes I will type up a draft of an email and then wait to send it out, because I'm worried I will want to change the wording later. Even worse sometimes I will put off replying to important emails because I have trouble typing at up, and then I forget about it until it is urgent. I do prefer sending emails to actually phoning people or talking to them in person so I end up typing up a lot of emails. I regularly send emails to people within 50 yards of me :hide
 

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It's the same for me.
It's somewhat easier if I know the people involved, but I still obsess over them.
Ironically, I rewrite emails and change my wording so many times, errors creep in anyway.
But after 4 years in the same job with the same people, it goes much more smoothly than before. I no longer think twice about writing an email.

I've found that it's easier to walk to people and talk to them instead of agonizing over an email. It's also healthier (it's a big building so it's a lot of walking).
Of course, I have to know them first and to have worked with them before.

Also, my boss has the annoying habit of writing emails that are full of grammatical errors, and have too many exclamation marks.
And yet whenever she spots the odd error in one of my emails she says loudly: Ha! You made a mistake there!
It annoys me like hell.
 
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