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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is a question many of us SA sufferers have no doubt been asked...one too many times if you ask me.
If you're like me you probably respond with a shrug of your shoulders and an unconfident glance at the floor below you. Or sometimes I'll say truthfully, "I just dont have anything to say."
I figure this is the proper venue to find out how others usually reply to this condescending question.
So, in closing I just have one question...Dude, why are you so quiet?
 

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I ask my self that question every day why am i so quite? I just think i dont have anything interesting to say. Sometimes im just to sad to open my mouth it even feels like the people around me are aliens conspiring against me. :um​
 

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I think we are quiet because we lack confidence and self-esteem. We have fear of rejection and we are obviously disconnected from society (social anxiety).

Because we are disconnected from society we don't know how to relate (or communicate - since that's what talking is) to other people.

How do we relate to other people? You're asking the wrong guy. Maybe we should stop being so negative about people and start being more positive about ourselves and others.

Even if being positive "compromises" our views (it seems like we take pride in being isolated and different - i know to a degree i do if I am being honest - "they are wrong - I am right"), that sure as **** seems a lot more fun than going through life being miserable all the time.

I need to walk the walk though.
 

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learning...
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I have like a series of stock phrases and responses which I seem to use in place of "proper" conversation. It's like I'm on auto-pilot, because I don't actually have any genuine interest in most conversations. I ask people how they are because I feel it's the right thing to do and I express sympathy if they're down or happiness if they're fine, but I don't really care all that much, which is beginning to upset me. I'm wondering if this is just because, coupled with the constant anxiety present in such exchanges, I've not had the practice whereby these social reactions/interactions become natural and automatic. I do feel empathy.

Sorry, that's off-topic. What I'm getting at is: I'm often quiet out of a combination of anxiety, blank mind and apathy; but I obviously cannot say that to whoever asks, so I usually just say I'm tired.
 

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Sometimes it's because i'm anxious about being judged negatively. But most of the time it's because I just don't feel like talking. It's not complicated.
Exactly. I think many people just have problems understanding that some of us don't feel the need to talk constantly.
 

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I don't talk very much, it use to bother me but I've accepted the fact that that's just the way that I am. I'd love to know how to be a better conversationalist but that's not going to happen so I'm not going to worry about it.

BTW, Welcome to :sas Darren07
 

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I really don't have anything important to say to anyone, so I don't. And even if I did, it wouldn't be to the a+++++e who asked that stupid question in the first place.
 

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I always get this too, I feel embarassed when they say it. I want to jump up and say you don't understand and I am loud, i just wish i was like you...

I shrug and say, I haven't got anything interesting to say, and they try and provoke you inot a conversation. I know whatever I say will make me centre of attention and I hate that.
 

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It depends on who I'm with. I can get on a roll and talk and be loud and joke around. When I'm one on one I do ok as long as it's not one of the types of people I fear. I wish I could crack the code for this social game. I just don't get it. Sometimes I couldn't care less if I'm talking, and other times I'll telling myself I hate myself for being me.

If we could just be given the instructions!
 

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If you get upset because somebody called you quiet, then you're not thinking right. There's nothing wrong with being quiet.

I don't mean any disrespect to anybody when I say that you're not thinking right. After all SA is all about how we think about things.
 

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Why are you so quiet... I tell you for a dollar.

why are you so quiet... its just around you.

why are you so quiet... I didn't hear anything intelligent said.

why are you so quiet... secretly i'm in love with you. ;)

why are you so quiet... I thought you were talking to yourself.
 

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Personally, I think its a rude question. How about replying "Thank you for pointing that out". Then walk away.

Would you tell a loud talkative person "why are you talking so much"?
 

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that's the same exact question when some of my friends notices me when I'm with them. They say that I'm really quiet and shy for some reasons but thank goodness it's just ok with them they were good to me thou. When they talk to me I just nudge my head for the answer and I just talk small words weird for me huh.
 

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Amen to that ..

Exactly. I think many people just have problems understanding that some of us don't feel the need to talk constantly.
This annoys me so much. I really hate this need people feel that there is always some deep psychological meaning to silence.

I don't always feel like talking, that's all, asking why is as pointless as asking why the earth is spherical.
 

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Equilibrian Epicurius
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At this point, if someone asked me that I'd probably just laugh, or facepalm. Keeping track of how often somebody talks then pointing it out to them doesn't exactly seem very socially-suave, or respectful for that matter.
 
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