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Hey everyone, now i am not actually sure if i have this disorder or not so i will just tell you a bit about myself. I am 19 live in a small country town, stopped going to school when i was 14 because i was bullied mostly because of how shy and quiet i was. I just don't really know how to talk to people so when people talk to me i tend to give few word answers so the conversation can't really continue. I am fine around my family and close friends. I don't have a job or anything so i just stay home by myself pretty much all day everyday during the week while my mums at work and i do enjoy it and do love being by myself, being around other people seems to drain all my energy and after i feel like i need time alone to recharge. now this is the problem i have.. on weekends i sometimes go to the pub and i always tell myself i'm not going to let myself get drunk but people buy me drinks and i can't say no because i am worried what they will think of me and stuff if i say no and i usually end up pretty drunk but at the time i am enjoying myself and having a good time until the next day and usually a few days after i just keep going over the drunk conversations i had with people and regret things i said and i tend to blackout and not remember the whole conversations so thats makes it worse because i can't remember what i actually said and when i go home after drinking i tend to dream about the night and the conversations so i don't know if i actually said the stuff i think i said or i just dreamt it. So i just sit at home for days after going out regreting even going out and dreading seeing the people again and the next time i do see them is usually when i go out next and i just do it all over again. Is there anyway i can stop myself going over and over what i do and say when drunk and just forget about it and not worry what other people think of me becuase of it? i'm sure they aren't sitting at home thinking how stupid i am lol so i don't know why i am? i have been drinking since i was 16, i think i drink because when i'm sober i am shy and quiet unless i know the people well but i don't remember having this problem a few years ago i think it has only really been happening the past year.
 

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I read your post. It's very common for SA sufferers to replay conversations over and over. It sounds like you could benefit from CBT therapy to hopefully put an end to your "negative" thoughts about yourself. I've had plenty of drunk regret and not just things I said, but things I did too. I'll just add that people expect intoxicated people to say random and not well thought out stuff. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

PS: If you think you drink too much you want to look into exploring that with a therapist as well. All the best to you.
 
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