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Discussion Starter #1
how do you cope with it?
do you still use?
I have been clean for 3 years now and finding it tough to learn to live again, some days I just wanna cash out. Leaving clean has changed my life in a good way but also in bad ways.
Ive lost my passion and excitement, I go to work each day because I have to, apart from 1 close friend, I dont get excited for anything anymore, Ive lost my inner child. How do I get it back?
 

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I've been clean for a few years too. It sucks because even tho it was a long time ago, sometimes I think I could fall right back into old habits. My brain insists on remember all the good times I had when I was twacked out, and how much energy I felt. I know that realistically most of the times weren't actually that good, and I try to force myself to remember how sick I got, and how angry the drugs made me. I guess now I find passion in other things. Having all my different animals gives me something to focus on besides myself. Wanting to help animals gave me a direction and purpose in my life. Maybe you just need to find something that you are passionate about to get involved with.
 

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What kind of drugs are you talking about that got you addicted opiates?
I have used most drugs except opiates and never gotten addicted, I still use for recreation when going to clubs about once a month.
 

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I agree man. It's hard to stay clean when you have sa, not to mention other diseases like depression. Drugs ease social anxiety and help you to socialize more, at least it did for me and it's also hard to ask for help but I definitley do not want to go back to my old ways.
 

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ThirdEyeGrind
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I was doing alot of stuff a few months back and I'm now only smoking pot and am stopping that. I really lost control when I was good friends with this drug dealer. It sucks cause its so hard to say no to something, especially if its presented to you.
 

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ThirdEyeGrind
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prisoner_of_myself said:
moderation is the key iguess cause i still smoke with my friends occasionally and its fun
Its not even fun really for me anymore. I either smoke and feel more normal/social, or don't smoke and feel, IDK, up tight. I'm sure I'll buy more pot soon even though I don't really want to. I mean what can you do when smoking pot has been a great crutch for you? You can either keep smoking it with possible criminal charges (extremely rare) or stop which really has no meaning to me. I'm happier when I smoke and thats that.
 

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prisoner_of_myself said:
how do you cope with it?
do you still use?
I have been clean for 3 years now and finding it tough to learn to live again, some days I just wanna cash out. Leaving clean has changed my life in a good way but also in bad ways.
Ive lost my passion and excitement, I go to work each day because I have to, apart from 1 close friend, I dont get excited for anything anymore, Ive lost my inner child. How do I get it back?
I think part of this is in discovering what you would really like to do that is constructive, like a hobby. If there is something you have some interest in, you can learn more about it. :)
 

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WhosVince said:
Is it just me? Or does anyone else feel like a total sleaze bag when typing about addiction problems on this site?
No its not just you.

I have spoken openly about past drug use and have had some rather ugly things said to me so I really dont think I will discuss that on this board again........its funny how people who talk about how society is cruel to them about SA can so easily look down their noses at people for other things, such as FORMER ( and I do stress the former) drug use.....
 

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Penny said:
WhosVince said:
Is it just me? Or does anyone else feel like a total sleaze bag when typing about addiction problems on this site?
No its not just you.

I have spoken openly about past drug use and have had some rather ugly things said to me so I really dont think I will discuss that on this board again........its funny how people who talk about how society is cruel to them about SA can so easily look down their noses at people for other things, such as FORMER ( and I do stress the former) drug use.....
I think the fact that you've overcome a drug problem is admirable. I know how hard it is, and anyone who judges us for our mistakes should take a look at their own lives. We all make mistakes. The important thing is that we've gotten past that and learned from our mistakes. Anyone who judges us without having experienced addiction, judges from ignorance.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
you shouldnt worry to much about what others think especially on a message board
post what will make yo9u feel better, people have a choice to read or not
there will always be haters
 

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Penny said:
I have spoken openly about past drug use and have had some rather ugly things said to me so I really dont think I will discuss that on this board again........its funny how people who talk about how society is cruel to them about SA can so easily look down their noses at people for other things, such as FORMER ( and I do stress the former) drug use.....
OMG, I know exactly what your talking about, there have been some people on here that are so rude toward others on here that you have to wonder if they really have SA. I've never tried drugs and I don't plan on it, but I can see how people with SA could get addicted easily. Congratulations you guys for cutting the addiction.
 

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I have smoked pot everyday since I was about 16-17...I am now 22...I just recently quit because this SA has got to stop...Im not sure if it's the weed or not, but getting sober is a way to find out...I was clean for 2 weeks then smoked abowl with my boy after the bar :con now it's been a week since... It's hard because all my friends smoke and it's too easy to just take a hit...most of the time when i would smoke I would feel more chill, but it wasn't always like that...sitting aroudn with friends and smoking made me anxious, damn'd SA!!!
 

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I do psychedlics (2ci,dmt,2ce,lsd,shrooms,mescaline) for the insightful benefits I get from them. Also smoke pot and do xanax from time to time. Don't plan on ever stopping.
 

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I do acid every so often, but sometimes get freaked out if I"m tripping around people I don't know. Psychedelics tend to magnify thoughts and feelings you have, so if you take it with SA, when you're worried about what people think of you or are judging you, it's possible to end up pretty damn paranoid while tripping, so do so with caution.
 

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ThirdEyeGrind
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I use to do shrooms and Ketamine (dont know if its classified as a psychedelic). I was just wondering what DMT/Acid/and PCP are like from your personal viewpoint. DMT seems like it would be the most extreme experience of my life if i ever tried it, atleast from what I read up on it.
 

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I've done shrooms a few times but never a huge dose, and I stopped when I started getting ****ed up dreams and this feeling where it felt like i woke up inside my dream and couldn't wake up to real life, so I can't really compare cid to it. But for me acid is pretty hard to describe, it's so different to anything you can experience in everyday life. It's so twisted, and it screws with your perceptions of things so hard. When most people think of acid they just think of swirly colours and like fractals and stuff, but it's the mental part of it that is either the most fun or the most scary depending on what the trip is like.

I've had moments where I've been standing at an esky while tripping trying to decide whether to have a red bull or a beer and it's felt like my entire life has led up to this decision and the fate of the world rests upon it. It's because the cid can magnify your thoughts and feelings so much.. at that time I actually truly believed that whether I chose to drink beer or red bull would affect the world in a huge way. Another time someone asked me "hey dude how much is left in that can of coke, can i have some?" and i stood still for about half an hour trying to guess down to about a millionth of a decimel place exactly how much coke was left in the can.. the guy had walked away after about 30 seconds of me saying "well i guess there's about 7/9s.. no.. about .788 not hat's not right either umm." etc. On the other hand i've had times when i've been in a club and every single person starts to look like a devil and i'm convinced i'm only seconds away from being set on by this huge mob and carted down to hell.. scary stuff.

If you turn your mind inward on acid you can start having these stupidly complex and irrational chains of thoughts, but the acid makes you think it makes perfect sense. What happened to a mate of mine once was this (he explained it to me later after i caught up with him): We were sitting at home tripping pretty hard with the tv on, and he started looking at the TV and thinking how well manafactured it was. How it's screen was perfectly aligned and the side's were all shiny, and how good a job the guy who built it had done. Then he started thinking how all the factories now use robots to put this stuff together, and that the poor old man who used to build these TVs was out of a job. He probably had a family and they were starving now because they have no money and can't buy food. They need food! It was at this point my mate jumped up and started raiding the fridge for food, and was about to run out the front door with it before I stopped him and asked him wtf he was doing and he replied "The TV man's family needs food!!". I had nfi what he was talking about until I could ask him about it when we had come down.

But to be honest I don't really recommend it to people with SA or other mental illnesses like that. The way the drug magnifies your negatives thoughts and feelings, if you're already terrified of a lot of people because of SA, you will end up in a real bad place on acid, and having a bad trip can really do some lasting damage so be warned...
 

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After reading this thread, I feel like I'm the only person here never having taken an illegal drug before, but I guess I make up for that by getting prescription drugs not directly from a doctor. Back when I was 19 and 20, I was around people smoking pot and crack, but I just wasn't interested in taking any.

AprilEthereal said:
DMT seems like it would be the most extreme experience of my life if i ever tried it, atleast from what I read up on it.
That's true. From what I have read and heard, DMT is definitely the most extreme experience one can have. It gives the user a hyper-reality which can either be bad or good. It's so real that people that have been on it say the place they went to actually existed - whether that's true or not is up for debate - with a whole bunch of bizarre-looking elf-like creatures and things which can't even be conveyed into words. Interestingly, DMT is more reactive when combined with a MAOI. I wouldn't suggest using DMT unless you think you can handle the experience, but even the strongest amongst us would find a bad experience very disturbing.

If you're interested, read up on Terrance McKenna, who created "Novelty Theory", and a smart philosopher of life in general. He was a frequent user of DMT, and it was his favorite drug. Also, "The DMT Molecule" by Rick Strassman is a popular book, although I've never read it.
 

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Yeah with DMT you basically take a hit then pass out for 30 minutes, whilst experiencing realistic, vivid "dream" type thing in your mind. Apparently a majority of users of DMT report meeting/talking to some higher entity/god like figure whilst in this state. I've spoken to dudes who've "lived" like 3 days of reality in their mind whilst only being out for 30 minutes in real life. Pretty crazy stuff.
 
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