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driving me crazy, need some feedback

205 Views 7 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  tigerlilly
Get ready for a long post......

Theres a girl i knew in middle/early high school. Not really friends, kinda coexisted at my aunts because thats where we had been babysat, and technically didnt live in that town but went to school there. We were both shy/quiet, and we got along really good when nobody was around---but as soon as someone showed up, we (mostly I) clammed up. Mostly because my brother/cousins who lived there considered anyone not family/prior friend=outcast.

Then in high school we both stopped going to my aunts house and didnt say a word to each other for 5-6 yrs. Then we run into each other again and....she has changed. In her words, shes just more outgoing/better with new people, not as shy and quiet. I am, but iv been hiding it, not even suggesting i ever was shy and quiet and am trying to act like im completely normal. She still seems to be lacking in the friends department, ofc she has guy friends because she got hot, but she still doesnt seem to have much going on daily.

Onto the problem: Does she like me? When we started talking in person, i thought so. I was drunk, but some stuff she said, made me think so, and i got her number so i thought i at least had a chance. Over the last few weeks, we have talked a bit, i always initiate the conversation. Here is where its confusing. I try to ask her out, and she rejects it every time, tho to be fair 2 of the 3 times were definately legit excuses. So she doesnt like me....but.... everytime i call/text she appears to make the effort to keep the convo going-it could have easily ended at my last text, but she kept it going. So far, i havent gotten the last word in. She always gets that last text, even when my text really didnt leave much room for comment.

So one half of me says: Shes not interest in you in any capacity, and trying to spare your feelings.
the other: She is still shy/quiet like me, and is nervous(like i am) about what the people we both know would say if we started dating. In fact some people we both know have mentioned to me that they "always thought we made a cute couple." And i still dont want to deal with people saying that after we were together. Very embarrassing.

So what does SAS think? keep asking her out till i get a yes or a F off, or cut my loses and move on?
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Depends on which you think would be worse: to be rejected without hope of ever being with her, or to continue torturing yourself with maybes for the rest of your life.

If you think the torture would be worse, you should ask her honestly, but not confrontationally, what's up. Something like, you want to be friends either way, but you would also like to try going out, no pressure, and you don't want to keep putting her in an awkward position if she's just not interested. (Not that you are bothering her. Just a more polite way of putting it than, Why won't you give me a straight answer?!) Emphasize that whatever she says is OK.
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