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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm full of awkwardness, I'm boring, I'm anti-social, I got shaky hands, I freak out within minutes in a social situation, I've got SA and depression and so other stuff going on my mind.

THIS IS ME!

If I'm "me" then I'm like that.
If I'm not "me" then I'm not being myself... just what society wants to see.

Aren't they being selfish when they say "just be yourself"?
I hate it when someone says to me "Don't be shy... just be yourself!"... :mum
 

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I see you point, it is frustrating, but don't take it like that. People that say that to you mean no harm, and they probably don't get that while you're on your own or around your tight group of trusted people you can act a certain way, but when you're "thrown" into another habitat you react like that.

Tem calma amigo, há muita gente assim.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I see you point, it is frustrating, but don't take it like that. People that say that to you mean no harm, and they probably don't get that while you're on your own or around your tight group of trusted people you can act a certain way, but when you're "thrown" into another habitat you react like that.

Tem calma amigo, há muita gente assim.
Olá!! lol Eureka! :eek:
Um português. Uau!
Fico contente por ver um português aqui. És o meu segundo que conto lol

Quando comecei a ler o teu post e assim que cheguei à parte em português fiquei :eek: ! Por uns minutos pensei que já estou tão habituao ao inglês que já o sinto português. lol Depois é que vi que estava realmente em português...

lol fico contente por te "conhecer" :D
 

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Fall 7 times, stand up 8.
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I think it means more like "be the best version of yourself." SA is not that for any of us. There is a confident person deep within all of us. It's just about letting our best selves shine through.
 

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Hehe, ainda bem amigo, é um prazer. ao menos ja te alegras um bocadinho hoje. também só descobri este site há umas horas.
Este deve ser o meu último post em português porque senão torna-se hábito e o resto do pessoal nao percebe nada, ou tem d por tudo o que escrevemos no google translate. LOL
Abraço
 

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Yeah, that saying annoys me too. It's like, being myself has only ever led to failure--obviously I have to be something MORE than myself, right?

I like laura024's perspective though--we shouldn't define ourselves by our SA but by our interests and potential to do great things.
 

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When I heard people telling me, "Just be yourself" I became defensive and maybe a little angry because the advice just seems so simplistic--as if anxiety is something that can be turned on and turned off like a light switch. "Be yourself" kind of sounds like "snap out of it."

Later on, I learned that the advice is to the point and it is helpful. Part of anxiety (at least for me) is due in large part to the inability to accept myself as I am. It's the idea that I have to be good enough in so many ways--like with social skills, body language, humor, kindness, looks, clothes, intelligence, etc--before I am happy with myself, before I can accept myself. The advice "be yourself" can cut through all that B.S. and urge us to accept ourselves as we are; we don't have to be perfect, or calm all the time, or smart, or funny. It's OK to be nervous, to show yourself as being nervous, to tell people "I'm nervous" and to be vulnerable in front of people.

One issue that prevents us from being vulnerable in front of people is placing too much value in our image, in how we present ourselves to others. It's as if I feel I am obligated to present a version of me that has it all together, that is interesting all the time, and make it all look effortless. That's a trap. I'm learning that it's OK to be boring, or bland, or sad, or anxious.
 

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Its actually the best and the worst advice you can get!

What one needs to be is the best version of yourself, as in your condident self, your expressive self.

"Im shy and awkward" well.. if you learned more social skills thta would diminish while youd still be "being yourself"
 

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I'm full of awkwardness, I'm boring, I'm anti-social, I got shaky hands, I freak out within minutes in a social situation, I've got SA and depression and so other stuff going on my mind.

THIS IS ME!

If I'm "me" then I'm like that.
If I'm not "me" then I'm not being myself... just what society wants to see.

Aren't they being selfish when they say "just be yourself"?
I hate it when someone says to me "Don't be shy... just be yourself!"... :mum
Think of how you act when you feel completely comfortable, whether it is at home with your family or alone in your room, that is truly being yourself. Anxiety dosent come into play and you can be your great natural self.
 

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I can only be my true self when I'm drunk. The rest of the time I'm not anxious around people and to guarded to be myself. I am myself online though.
Ok, I'll make my mission to create a drink/pill with the desinhibitor effect of alcohol (maybe a little tuned down) with none of the other side effects.
How much would people pay for that ?:clap
 

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Ok, I'll make my mission to create a drink/pill with the desinhibitor effect of alcohol (may a little tuned down) with none of the other side effects.
How much would people pay for that ?:clap
One hundred BILLION dollars! :yes

As for the saying, I hate it too. So I just deleted it long ago. The last time someone said "Just be yourself" to me I raised one eyebrow and did my best Leonard Nimoy impression:

"And who... exactly... is yourself?"

That fries their circuits.
 

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Yes. Some people shouldn't be themselves.
 

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i ****ing ghate this. not because "being myself" is super boring. but because SA has morphed what "being myself" is so much i don't even know what "being myself" is anymore.

I'm like a totally different person and i can't even remember what i was like before this ****. sorry for the profanity, I'm super pissed tonight. :(
 

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That guy
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I think it should be a bit more technical than the new age connotations it holds. Being the best version of yourself is too much to live up to, but maybe see it as saying take a few more risks, who knows, you might feel better if your **** scared but reach out anyway?
 

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I've had months of therapy, and a longer time on SSRIs. If I had to analyse, I've been building my self esteem for a while, it just shifted dramatically after I put the final nail in the coffin. It isn't as easy as be yourself. It is as easy as consistently reaching out. It's hard. It's tough. I still need to do it. But to be honest, it gets easier.
 

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jaynex10
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It's a meaningless generic platitude. I mean, even if someone copies another person, that just means "who they are" is someone who copies people. It's impossible for me to be anyone other than myself.
 
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