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Some people seem to naturally have a very strong sense of themselves and who they are and what's their place in society. Personally, I've never been one of those people. For me, suffering from depression during my "formative years" had a lot to do with it, not to mention the social anxiety. People build self-confidence through interacting with and getting encouragement from their peers, family, mentors, etc., if you don't get a lot of that positive reinforcement it can be difficult to develop a clear image of yourself - at least one that you would be proud of. And after awhile that just starts to spiral. It's hard to find common ground with others if you don't know where you stand.

Don't overstate the problem though - like I'm sure you have preferences, even if it's just that you prefer diet coke over diet pepsi. I do think it's important to be able to find enjoyment and interests, and as you come out of being depressed it may just take time to find that again. Try to think of yourself as a work in progress.
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