[nemasket]

I feel I have no idea who I am - I try to think of good things about me to develop confidence, but there's just nothing to me. I mean, I try to be nice, but I'm not a "nice person". I workout a lot, but I'd never consider myself athletic. I have a decent job, but I don't identify with it at all.

I used to be very opinionated and strong-willed when I was younger, but it just fell away over time. And now sometimes I'll look in the mirror and see myself and think "Wow, I look professional" or "I actually look like someone strong and active", but I never feel any of those ways inside. I think it impacts my ability to relate to other people a lot - I have absolutely nothing to say about myself. No experiences to share, no preferences. I used to be able to entertain friends with the funny things that happened to me, but I feel like a blank person now. If someone asked me to tell them something about myself, I couldn't think of a thing - and it's not just because of anxiety.

I don't even know what I enjoy anymore. It may be because I've suffered from depression on and off for years and only recently felt better. Does anyone else relate? Did you find yourself again?

 

[nightwalker]

I'm still a teen and I recently started to suffer from depression.. and right now i'm feeling the same. I have so little self esteem and confidence that i don't even want to know who i am anymore. I look in the mirror and i just see a girl. When i try to think of my characteristics, i cant come up with any

 

[quietgal]

Some people seem to naturally have a very strong sense of themselves and who they are and what's their place in society. Personally, I've never been one of those people. For me, suffering from depression during my "formative years" had a lot to do with it, not to mention the social anxiety. People build self-confidence through interacting with and getting encouragement from their peers, family, mentors, etc., if you don't get a lot of that positive reinforcement it can be difficult to develop a clear image of yourself - at least one that you would be proud of. And after awhile that just starts to spiral. It's hard to find common ground with others if you don't know where you stand.

Don't overstate the problem though - like I'm sure you have preferences, even if it's just that you prefer diet coke over diet pepsi. I do think it's important to be able to find enjoyment and interests, and as you come out of being depressed it may just take time to find that again. Try to think of yourself as a work in progress.

 

[Canadian Brotha]

I feel I don't know who I am,

I know of many ideals/principles that I agree with but I'm not always sure how to apply them without reservation. I'm lacking in the confidence so I struggle to project myself in the way I would like to as opposed to the way people feel I should be. It's really rough.

I agree that you've probably got plenty of interests though, everyone does

 

[coldmorning]

I think it's natural and normal to have some sort of identity crisis. I never could stand people who knew exactly what they wanted to be even from childhood and had their whole life mapped out ahead of them. I know it's not that reassuring but having uncertainty like this suggests you're more open minded (really). After all, how can someone who knew from age five that they always wanted to be a doctor or a cop say they've looked at all the options the world has to offer? And it's a very big world out there.

I'm in my mid thirties now and most people who know me in real life would say I appear to have a clear sense of identity. In reality, I've always been very conflicted about who I am and what direction I should move towards. However, I've come to accept this uncertainty as normal and not harmful as long as you just KEEP DOING SOMETHING.

By that I mean if you aren't sure if you should major in bio or history, just pick a major... you can always change it later. If you don't know if you should pursue football or basketball, just pick one for now. Liberal or conservative?... just pick a group. Flip a coin if you have to. But the experience of doing something will bring you closer to finding out what exactly is best for you.

Uncertainty about your identity is only really harmful if it leads to inaction. I say this as someone who kept changing my mind and doing this and that in the past. Looking back on all of it, I can say that all those decisions I made which I was unsure about worked out fine in the long run... it was only the times where I got stuck and did nothing that I truly felt I lost something.

 

[Social_butterfly00]

I feel exactly the same way. In fact I was thinking this today about myself. That I don't even know who I am. I feel so disconnected from my body and my mind. I struggle everyday to portray a constant human being. I know it's probably normal to have an 'identity crisis', but there are so many young adults my age who seem so confident and happy with who they are.

There are a few things I could say to someone about myself if they asked. In terms of values and morals, I don't really have strong feelings about anything. But I am finding as time goes on, I'm developing stronger opinions about things.

I sort of used to like who I was when I was younger. But at the same time, I feel like I wasn't really that person at all, because I'm different now, and it felt like an identity I put on for my friends and for others. I'm the type of person who crumbles at the sight of criticism. I crumble even when I think someone is thinking something bad about me.
I got put in a group project for my elective, and I asked one of the girls through a facebook message if she read the book for the class, and she said "ya I did"... I felt like crying because when people say "ya" to me instead of "yeah" or "yea", I feel like they are being b*tchy and are signalling that they are annoyed by me and think I'm stupid. So now I'm really anxious about this group project. Is that normal?

I guess my whole point is even if I have an identity, it's so easily crumbled, and reshaped to suit whatever situation I'm in, and usually people can see the 'fakeness' or the desperateness, and crumble me even more.