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I'm 17 years old, just found this site.
I don't have any friends(haven't for years) and I still live with my mother(don't know any other family members).
I'm still a virgin, and I haven't so much as touched a girl.
I don't work, and get benefits, and live off my mums money.

I don't know how I can get work, and I stopped going to school when I was 14 because of my severe anxiety.
I would nearly throw up before going to school and I sweated and shivered and my legs felt heavy and I could barely walk there.
I stay inside and don't go out for weeks, and when I'm forced to go to the shop my muscles tense up and I fidget and avoid eye contact with all people.
Once a girl made eye contact with me and I dropped my money clumsily and all she laughed.

I can't talk with anyone except my mother, and get nervous when I go outside.
I think (because of the stress of the anxiety, I also had mild OCD) it affects my health, and I get joint pains and I'm tired all the time.
I also have mild breathing troubles.

I am depressed and and find no enjoyment in anything.
I don't know what to do and any advice would be appreciated, thank you.
 

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breaking free
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2,171 Posts
The most important thing for you to do is to believe that there is hope for you to get better. Once you have that hope, there is nothing you can't accomplish!

I have been reading many books by the author David Burns and they have been helping me tremendously. I am really shy too, and after reading these books (and doing the exercises in them) I feel so much less trapped in my negative thoughts. I think they can help you too:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=david+burns

Also, if you feel like you need to talk to someone and that you aren't improving on your own, there are many people out there (such as counslers, this website, etc) that can help you.

Best of luck!
 

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Registered
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I'm 17 years old, just found this site.
I don't have any friends(haven't for years) and I still live with my mother(don't know any other family members).
I'm still a virgin, and I haven't so much as touched a girl.
I don't work, and get benefits, and live off my mums money.

I don't know how I can get work, and I stopped going to school when I was 14 because of my severe anxiety.
I would nearly throw up before going to school and I sweated and shivered and my legs felt heavy and I could barely walk there.
I stay inside and don't go out for weeks, and when I'm forced to go to the shop my muscles tense up and I fidget and avoid eye contact with all people.
Once a girl made eye contact with me and I dropped my money clumsily and all she laughed.

I can't talk with anyone except my mother, and get nervous when I go outside.
I think (because of the stress of the anxiety, I also had mild OCD) it affects my health, and I get joint pains and I'm tired all the time.
I also have mild breathing troubles.

I am depressed and and find no enjoyment in anything.
I don't know what to do and any advice would be appreciated, thank you.
Well you know your own problems pretty well. It seems like in the more severe cases this is all you can think about. Its easier said than done, but don't focus on your problems anymore. The biggest thing is always staying positive. Consider yourself lucky you can live with your mother in your situation, there are many people with SA worse than you that have to live on their own, and are literally, alone.

You're still young guy, there is much hope for you. Have you talk to your mother about it? Ask your mom what you can do about it, tell her you want to see a psychologist and take cognitive therapy to get better. Your mother will be more than supportive to see you want to better yourself, and she'll create a loving caring environment for you.

There is no shame in talking to a psychologist. Its made many people's lives so much better. It might be hard at first, but you'll progress and you'll notice it. I really think you should take some steps towards it.
 

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Lol man relax you're acting if you're 30. I'm 17 too, I don't plan on getting a girlfriend or sex until I'm over 18 and living on my own. I think you not going to school in a while has made you think you're older, relax you're still young. It's ok for now but you gotta start fixing this problem even though it's probably the hardest thing in our lives to do
 

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unashamed perv
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1,786 Posts
That's a sad story, lunatic05, you sound like you've got it bad! I agree with mbs, talking to a psychiatrist might be a good idea. And if you don't like the first one you see, try another one!

I'm sorry if this sounds patronising, but you really are just young. It may be frustrating not to have had a girlfriend, but you're not unusual, and you've plenty time.

It's a shame that you can't go to school - does your Mum help you learn stuff? can you do any self-study or distance learning to keep your brain active?
 

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Simon Says...
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1,693 Posts
You're still young guy, there is much hope for you.
I suppose that's probably one of the big things with people who have problems like us. Problems that seems to imply "I've wasted my life". Once you get to 20 or so it appears like you've completely wasted your teenage years, and since the teenage years are a time that are so much hyped and talked about in society in general we feel quite terrible that ours were nothing like most people's and that they were times of quite terrible isolation.

On that subject, really I suppose when you're... 10 or so I dunno, you think that people who are 20 are... rather mature, old etc. and yet you probably still have the feeling that in some way life sort of begins around 20 with regards to a career etc. and finishing your education. Then when you actually come to 20 yourself, you kind of feel old and like most of your life has passed away and that you really haven't done as much as many other people or as much as you should have.

I find it comforting that I'm not alone....i've been trying to take baby steps at things...veing overwhelmed with a lot isn't good for me
Yeah, with OCD I really found it comforting that when I searched on the internet etc. there were a lot of people that were experiencing the same problems as me and it really did make me feel better since as you can imagine I'd sort of lived a life where it almost seemed like how I lived and acted was unique and strange but then there are people just like me and it really can be comforting.
 
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