All of my life I have been taught to believe in God andj the Christian life, etc. but I don't know.. I just don't feel it. The happiness, strength, knowledge that I'll be going to heaven because I'm "good" and all that... I just don't feel it. It's like the only reason I even consider myself a christian anymore, and don't just look for something else, is because of that fear that -maybe- it is true, and -maybe- I'd go to hell or the rapture and all if I don't follow it. But to me, that's all it is... fear that I'll have to spend eternity being tortured... not happiness that I have that faith and stuff. and that just doesn't work for me.