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is getting over herself
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Discussion Starter #1
I have a problem. Well, one of several, let's say. And I'm curious as to what others have to say about it.

I saw my therapist tonight, and I told her about a situation that happened over the weekend in which my anxiety was raised to about a 6. I have just recently got into cycling, and so went to a bike shop to get myself a proper helmet and a new saddle (not my ***, thanks, this one's fine. a new seat). Now, firstly, I have never been in a bike shop, so that was enough to spike it a bit. Secondly, I predicted that there would be people much younger than myself working there, and I would need some assistance from them and so forth. So, that sent my mind spinning - they'll ignore me, they'll figure I'm just some old lady who doesn't know what she's doing, I'll be invisible, etc etc.

I feel extremely embarrassed admitting this, but I find younger people just send my SA through the roof. As I talked it over with the therapist, it became evident that this is an issue for me - I'm afraid they see me a certain way that doesn't even come close to how I see myself, and that they judge me accordingly. It's a terrible thing to think, and I have serious issues with my age.

I.....don't suppose....anyone else here deals with this?
 

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unashamed perv
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1,786 Posts
Well, I don't know if it's helpful or relavent, but I've always been more comfortable around people the older they get. Teenagers scare me, twenty-somethings worry me, and people in their forties or older feel more "safe" to me.

I think it might partly be a cultural thing - there is a lot of mistrust of young people (at least there is here in the UK). They tend to be steroetyped as dangerous juvenile delinquents, so people are scared of them, even though most young people, most of the time, are harmless.

If you're worried about being judged, I can only say what I expect you know already - the young-people-in-the-bike-shop probably weren't interested in judging you, they probably just saw you as a customer.
 

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Lost
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275 Posts
Well, I don't know if it's helpful or relavent, but I've always been more comfortable around people the older they get. Teenagers scare me, twenty-somethings worry me, and people in their forties or older feel more "safe" to me.

I think it might partly be a cultural thing - there is a lot of mistrust of young people (at least there is here in the UK). They tend to be steroetyped as dangerous juvenile delinquents, so people are scared of them, even though most young people, most of the time, are harmless.

If you're worried about being judged, I can only say what I expect you know already - the young-people-in-the-bike-shop probably weren't interested in judging you, they probably just saw you as a customer.
Very well said.
 

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is getting over herself
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12,022 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Well, I don't know if it's helpful or relavent, but I've always been more comfortable around people the older they get. Teenagers scare me, twenty-somethings worry me, and people in their forties or older feel more "safe" to me.

I think it might partly be a cultural thing - there is a lot of mistrust of young people (at least there is here in the UK). They tend to be steroetyped as dangerous juvenile delinquents, so people are scared of them, even though most young people, most of the time, are harmless.

If you're worried about being judged, I can only say what I expect you know already - the young-people-in-the-bike-shop probably weren't interested in judging you, they probably just saw you as a customer.
thanks for that - yes, rationally, I think the same thing. although, if that's true, I feel sorry for every customer they had that day - crap service, really (not just because they were young. it was just crap customer service).
 

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is getting over herself
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12,022 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
thanks for that - yes, rationally, I think the same thing. although, if that's true, I feel sorry for every customer they had that day - crap service, really (not just because they were young. it was just crap customer service).
actually, I just had to wait around a while. keep it in perspective, L.
 
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