"Don't be so nervous."
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Haha I love that picture!
My sister says this when I ask her to ask people things for me. It's so ****ing stupid; one it's not difficult for her to do it for me and two I can't help it, or I would just do it myself.
It's pretty infuriating, when she says it sounds more like she's saying "don't be so stupid" and she rolls her eyes...
My sister says this when I ask her to ask people things for me. It's so ****ing stupid; one it's not difficult for her to do it for me and two I can't help it, or I would just do it myself.
It's pretty infuriating, when she says it sounds more like she's saying "don't be so stupid" and she rolls her eyes...
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I have heard this one many times before and I think everyone that has social anxiety has heard it many times in the past as well. Yes, it only serves to create more anxiety. I have found that this is a good opportunity to be assertive and let the other person know how they can or cannot speak to me. I will say things like, "Just let me do it," or, "I'll do it when I'm ready," to get people off of my back. It seems to help.
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"Don't be so nervous"
Response: "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Worry about yourself".
Response: "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Worry about yourself".
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I hate when people say that. So much. My mom doesnt say it because she had SA as a kid and she understands, but even my best friend says it. I know she's only trying to help, but it's still irritating.
Strangely, I've only heard this a couple times, and it works for me.
It doesn't bother me to hear it because I know that if that person can do it, I can do it.
Also, in situations where I am nervous as hell, I become really energetic (nervous energy) and start to ramble and get excited and tell jokes and stuff. The downside to this is that as soon as that nervous energy has dissipated I am back to blankness and they wonder why I got so quiet all of a sudden...
It doesn't bother me to hear it because I know that if that person can do it, I can do it.
Also, in situations where I am nervous as hell, I become really energetic (nervous energy) and start to ramble and get excited and tell jokes and stuff. The downside to this is that as soon as that nervous energy has dissipated I am back to blankness and they wonder why I got so quiet all of a sudden...
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I had a very extroverted boss who would do this all the time. He'd stand over my shoulder while I was doing an important, time-critical job, and then get all baffled about why that would make me so nervous. Of course him asking me why I was so nervous would only make me even more nervous...
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My french teacher told me those exact words when we were practicing for a possible oral exam (which I'm so nervous for I feel as if I might cry just thinking about it). And she was asking me all these questions in french and I couldn't answer a single one of them and started stuttering and fiddling with my bracelets and really freaking out. And she told me to relax and try not to be so nervous. She was really nice about it but it pissed me off, cause that's easy for her to say! I wanted to yell at her that I couldn't help it and that no matter what she says I'll be nervous as **** and probably faint during the actual exam.
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I took my driver's temps test a few years ago and the whole time my heart was racing, i was sweating, and shaking. my boyfriend asked me why i was so nervous, 'its just a test'. tests are NOT MY THING, never have been. they made me hate school so much, aside from the fact that i just hated being around people. i can't help the fact that i get extremely nervous and anxious at the drop of a pin. =/
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Thankfully nobody ever said that to me when I'm nervous. I can imagine it being embarassing.
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i usually get the 'ol "take a deep breath"
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Same thing here. My drivere's test was an absolute disaster that took months for me to get over. When I took the test, I knew perfectly how to drive, what to do, but I SUCK so hard at taking tests. The written part was ridiculously easy, but I still screwed it up. When it was time for the driving part I screwed up just as bad. Before we got going she asked a few ?s about where things were in the car. I couldn't find the emergency flashers button(pathetic on it's own, but even worse since I had just done some work on the center console a few days earlier) I was just too flustered. And when we finally got on the rode, all we had to do is make 3 right turns. My nerves made me run off the road twice. I knew how to drive, I was already in the street racing scene. Test anxiety along with the instructor over my shoulder totally screwed with my mind.
Dumbasses at the DMV still gave me the license. Maybe this is why Memphis drivers suck :stu
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275 Posts
Easier said than done. People who say stuff like this obviously have no idea what SA is like.
very true. We really don't want anyone noticing and when someone does notice it, then it's all downhill from then on.
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Certain things become easier sure but any new thing is always nerve wracking for me. That's why I tend to shy away from new situations because I don't know what to expect. I also agree that the way some people tell you not to be so nervous is condenscending. Some people are trying to be helpful and you can tell when they are but there are people who have no patience for any show of "so-called weakness". :sus
for me, if people said "you're so quite" to me, that will make me More quite. :|
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