Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 34 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
221 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The interest in friend-making certainly seems to dwindle after college, and then even more as people approach their mid 20s-early 30s.

Is it simply impossible to find normal people open to friendship at that age?

Or, if you've been socially deprived all your life, at that age, is it more about accepting the fact you'll never have a social life and moving on?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,314 Posts
I think it depends on the person. If they have a friendly, open personality, they won't stop making friends just because they reach a certain age.
 

·
Penguin
Joined
·
4,506 Posts
Certainly, I think for a lot of people the drive to be social, and the tendency to assess one's self-worth based on number of friends/activity of one's social life can decline with age. It has for me, anyhow.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,524 Posts
Mid to late twenties when people start getting engaged and married. That along with trying to build a career leaves little time for people to meet new people. Plus most people our age already have friends they knew from early on so they don't really want new friends. Just what I have discovered.
 

·
Don't text me, bro
Joined
·
788 Posts
I have given up. I thought I would make friends at a university, but it didn't happen. I've tried meetup and other websites to no avail.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
30 Posts
No, I don't think its impossible to make friends but i definitely think it gets harder and harder when you get nearer to 30 yrs and over. After 25 ppl start to get married, have kids, have a career and most (in my experience) are stuck with their old circle of friends. When you get older it is just harder to make new friends because ppl are not so receptive and there are fewer occasions in which you can naturally befriend ppl after all the school is over
 

·
(.*?)
Joined
·
6,786 Posts
A lot of them still make friends at work. I do think it gets harder to find interested people in a non-work environment as they become settled in life, though.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,524 Posts
No, I don't think its impossible to make friends but i definitely think it gets harder and harder when you get nearer to 30 yrs and over. After 25 ppl start to get married, have kids, have a career and most (in my experience) are stuck with their old circle of friends. When you get older it is just harder to make new friends because ppl are not so receptive and there are fewer occasions in which you can naturally befriend ppl after all the school is over
Well said and I agree completely
 

·
Gone, Never Coming Back
Joined
·
4,863 Posts
I think it has more to do with the fact that it is more difficult to make friends after school ends. That has me a bit worried because I haven't made a single friend in University. I'm just too withdrawn and miserable to talk to people, and others don't bother with me anyways. Dear lord I've tried, but once people see you as the quiet person, they will always avoid you, unless you change your ways, which I have no intention on doing.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,524 Posts
I think it has more to do with the fact that it is more difficult to make friends after school ends. That has me a bit worried because I haven't made a single friend in University. I'm just too withdrawn and miserable to talk to people, and others don't bother with me anyways. Dear lord I've tried, but once people see you as the quiet person, they will always avoid you, unless you change your ways, which I have no intention on doing.
This is true. I had a lot of fulfilling relationships with people during school. Best friends, girlfriends, etc. Now I am just utterly alone. The real world sucks so hard.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
809 Posts
Mid to late twenties when people start getting engaged and married. That along with trying to build a career leaves little time for people to meet new people. Plus most people our age already have friends they knew from early on so they don't really want new friends. Just what I have discovered.
I strongly agree with this and this has been my experience. I recently stopped hanging out with my friends as much because they are all in relationships and have children. With child rearing and taking care of kids they really don't have a lot of time to hang out. Plus having a career zaps a lot of your energy and adults spend most of their time at work. Also, I've actually heard adults say that they have enough friends and don't want anymore. After a certain age many adults already have an established group that they belong to and feel comfortable with so they aren't interested in making new friends. It's hard to break into people's social circles after a certain age when people have known each other for years.

After college the opportunity to make friends and even find a spouse is a bit harder. Where I'm from people really keep to themselves.

Enjoy your time in school while it lasts. Judging from posts made by 25+ year old members and from my own personal experience, making friends becomes more and more difficult as you get older.
Yup, it starts about mid to late 20s when people start getting married, having children, and entering the work force. Taking care of a family and constantly working leaves very little time to hang out like you did in college and especially as a teenager and child. I would advise people, especially women, to try to find a spouse while they're young. Don't wait until you're approaching 30 because you're going to have a hell of a time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,609 Posts
Enjoy your time in school while it lasts. Judging from posts made by 25+ year old members and from my own personal experience, making friends becomes more and more difficult as you get older.
I don't get it, though...what's the point of life without friends? ...it doesn't make sense to me that it would just become that hard to make friends at any age. I mean it's not like everyone over the age of 25 has a spouse and kids. I don't like the idea of certain opportunities ending, forever, at a certain age.
 

·
electric
Joined
·
6,777 Posts
I don't get it, though...what's the point of life without friends? ...it doesn't make sense to me that it would just become that hard to make friends at any age. I mean it's not like everyone over the age of 25 has a spouse and kids. I don't like the idea of certain opportunities ending, forever, at a certain age.
It's just harder. You have to work harder is all. You know, the key resource is people and opportunities at conversation. You have to actively seek that out after school instead of having that almost handed to you like it is at school.

I have a hard time imagining myself ever not open and receptive to friendships and willing to seek people out unless I had a mature circle of friends and a spouse, and somehow I'm a little skeptical about that ever happening, you know? I'll always want friends I think. :(
 
Joined
·
559 Posts
I don't think anyone ever stops wanting to make friends. Perhaps, as someone progresses through life accustomed to loneliness and lack of friends they might not let that feel like a burden on them or might be so bitter about it that they pretend it no longer bothers them, but deep down I think they would probably still want friends/ a friend. It is human nature to desire companionship, and I don't think this dissipates with time.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,407 Posts
I think it depends on the person. If they have a friendly, open personality, they won't stop making friends just because they reach a certain age.
I agree. The people who are the most social seem to always make new friends. I honestly think this is an excuse that people with SA make so that they can continue to withdraw and not have to face rejection or doing something new. Sure school and college make it easy to make friends, but social people tend to do activities and join clubs when they are older in order to be around people more. Most social people I know over the age of 25 like having people over their houses, enjoy going out and are involved in activities where they are around other people all the time. For anyone past college age I believe the more you try to be social and make friends (and deal with rejection) the more likely you will be to succeed.
I recently made the mistake of working too much and it leaves little time for a social/dating life. I know that I haven't prioritized my social life enough (all my life actually) and it's hurting me. In the future I plan to work less and devote more time to activities I can enjoy so that I can be around people and work on my social skills.
 
1 - 20 of 34 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top