[pm5kbebop]

I know S.A. prevents me from going to church...And not attending has hurt my faith in a major way.

 

[moviefreak13]

That is too bad. I am not a believer in God and therefore do not attend church, but I completely understand how important attending church is for a lot of people. I consider myself an extremely spiritual person and believe strongly that everyone should have a faith and believe in something. But yeah, social anxiety can screw that up quite a bit. I hope that one day you will be able to go to church. I have faith in you

 

[brownkeys]

I know S.A. prevents me from going to church...And not attending has hurt my faith in a major way.

Does it ever! It's like you are required to be social at church and I can't do that. It's sad but even after I got baptized every time I got home from church I would feel incredibly depressed and hate myself more for having SA. What's worst is that for some religions not going to church means that you will not be "saved". This used to cause me a lot of distress because my religion was like that so I thought I was doomed. Nevertheless, this has also caused me to question my own faith. I don't think I can ever participate in a church- I feel so awkward and out of place and I know I shouldn't feel that way but I can't help it.

 

[Jessie Phillips]

Yes, social anxiety has prevented me from attending church on some occasions. Sometimes I get into a flap and think I'll be a minute or two late, or I think there's something not quite right with my appearance and I have to sort it out - like anyone at church cares .... but I still sometimes end up not going at all.

But at least I sometimes manage to get to church. I feel for brownkeys who feels as though it's completely impossible. Can I ask: Are you in any kind of regular contact with a local church community at all?

 

[brownkeys]

Yes, social anxiety has prevented me from attending church on some occasions. Sometimes I get into a flap and think I'll be a minute or two late, or I think there's something not quite right with my appearance and I have to sort it out - like anyone at church cares .... but I still sometimes end up not going at all.

But at least I sometimes manage to get to church. I feel for brownkeys who feels as though it's completely impossible. Can I ask: Are you in any kind of regular contact with a local church community at all?

I use to be, but now that I am in school there are no churches around with my religion. It wouldn't be a problem if I just went to church on Sundays because then I could just go to one of the many sunday services on campus. But I go to church on Saturdays and there are no services then.

But even when I was in contact with a church I didn't feel like I belonged there. Even when I became a member, none of the other kids EVER talked to me, and I sure wasn't going to approach them with my SA. On the occasion that I did try to initiate conversation if someone were sitting next to me, I got looked at as if I had two heads. I felt extremely alone and unwanted there that I couldn't bare to go back. Everyone had their own cliques and it didn't seem like they were willing to let anyone in anytime soon. These kids have known each other their entire lives and I was just a newbie.

I know this isn't a reason to not go to church, but maybe my faith isn't strong enough to fight the feeling of neglect that I feel when going to church. I tried for a while, I really did. But the more I went, the more I hated myself for having SA and not being able to be a part of that community.

 

[joey67]

Definatly!
I pushed myself for a long time, but since I've stopped, I've had a hard time getting myself to go again.
I've become more spiritual now. I meditate and pray in privacy now and feel much more comfortable with that.
Joe

 

[Shytears]

I know S.A. prevents me from going to church...And not attending has hurt my faith in a major way.

thats exactly what happened to me. i haven't been since i was 16 because S.A. got in the way. :afr

 

[stillwaters]

It is really Hard, suffering from SA to attend church,
I have been litterally forcing myself to go each Sunday,
I have some good days, and some bad days..
but I have found that in the long run, it has helped tremendously
in my SA issues..
and I reall do enjoy the worshiping and singing, even though I dont dare sing out to loud

and after going to a small group now for a couple months, I
am amazed how I have run into others who suffer the same anxiety...

there is alot of us out their, who have put Faith in GOd, to
help us through each day....

just my thoughts
debs

 

[snoogle_bear]

Yes, my anxiety prevents me from going to church. It's not really the normal socializing that gets me but its when people expect you to share your feelings and beliefs and stuff about God that gets me. My anxiety gets sky high when I have to share really personal stuff. I was at this church fellowship once and people were taking turns saying prayers out loud and I felt like dying when it was my turn.

 

[firedancer]

Yes. It has effected my attendance (and therefore affected my husbands also). Lately my BPII, SA and depression have caused me to become a recluse. I have immersed myself in Christian music and cry like a baby but can't make myself go to church. And forget bible study (that at one time I absolutely loved) because they changed the format and they get into prayer circles of 4-5 people afterwards and I cannot pray in front of anyone (even my husband). Sometimes I feel like a failure and a fake. And the guilt is killing me.

 

[Tangle]

I agree with all you guys - Church is sooooooo hard! And to make matters worse, Christians, at least, seem to have this idea that it's no good if a million people don't show up!

For example, I attended this young adults Bible study group for awhile, and whenever less than 15 people showed up, I would be jumping up and down inside, but among the group a great amount of time would be spent talking about "where everyone is."

And forget bible study (that at one time I absolutely loved) because they changed the format and they get into prayer circles of 4-5 people afterwards

Firedancer, I feel your pain. It's one thing to have a group of people that you gradually get to know and trust and then maybe can open up with. But to be randomly thrown in with people and have to pray is cruel and unusual to those of us with SA. And then when you can't make yourself pray, you just feel like a total loser for not being able to overcome your fear, and then you think everyone else must think that you're either a loser or don't love God enough to pray... It's just hard. :hide

 

[Amelia]

...I cannot pray in front of anyone ... Sometimes I feel like a failure and a fake. And the guilt is killing me.

I don't think that you should feel like a fake or feel guilty about this, firedancer, or let other people make you feel guilty/fake. :squeeze

I had similar feelings when I attended a bible class at college (when my SA didn't really get in the way). Perhaps it depends on your religious background. I am not from an evangelical background so felt extremely uncomfortable being expected to verbalize my feelings/prayers. If I tried praying out loud, I felt that the prayer sounded fake, but I also felt like a fake for finding it difficult to do.

does SA prevent you from attending church?

Yes. The main SA-related things that prevent me from going to church are:
(1) The prospect of having to stand up and introduce myself! :afr (I've been to a few places where this was compulsory, as in "you're a stranger here: explain yourself!")
(2) Having to socialize afterwards for coffee, etc.
(3) Having members of the congregation interfere in my life (this has happened to a friend of mine, whose church seems to have taken over her life).

 

[Caedmon]

You might say that, yes.

 

[sprinter]

I don't really get where this christian prayer circle type thing is coming from. Seems more like private prayer is what is emphasized in the NT...

Mat 6:5 And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, They have their reward.
Mat 6:6 But you, when you pray, enter into your room. And shutting your door, pray to your Father in secret; and your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly.

Of course this is just one scripture I haven't really studied the issue. This reminds me though of the time I attended a couple WWCOG meetings in the early 90s. Boy did I feel like an outsider, they really didn't seem to know what to do with someone new. I had trouble even finding a place to sit down, there weren't even any extra chairs for somebody new. And then after the service everybody automatically got into their little cliques for "fellowship" . I just ended up walking out. And this was a group that a lot of other christians considered cultish. Well I think maybe some christian churches could maybe learn some things from some cults about making newcomers feel welcomed. :lol

Now the Catholic service is quite different. You just go sit down, there's usually lots of empty seating available. Kneel, sit, stand,sing along if you want, blah blah the priest says this and that. You have the sign of peace thing, shake peoples hand and say "peace be with you" :lol if you want. Then you can go up for communion or not. Then when it's over most just leave right away and go home and stuff themselves with Sunday dinner. :banana

Well that's my experience with church. I don't attend any church now. I wouldn't rule it out if I can find a good one that didn't unnecessarily antagonize my SA if it is still an issue at the time.

 

[Wrennie]

I used to enjoy going to church when I was married. Now I feel too self conscious to go alone - like people are looking at me and judging me. I don't go. I think about it but I can't make myself go alone.

 

[Amocholes]

My anxiety is at it's worst at church. I'm fine before the service but as the music for gathering starts playing, I can feel the anxiety set in. Several times I have had to get up and leave. I suspect it is the organ that triggers it. Organ music has so many harmonics and overtones in it. I have not been to church in about 2 months because of this. I like the people and we have an excellent pastor. I sang in the choir and played with the band. I was very active. After these panic attacks, I have felt drained and slipped into depression. My faith is still as strong as it has ever been but it is difficult to go somewhere that I know will have this effect.

 

[millenniumman75]

I definitely have trouble going to church - especially after having such a bad experience as I had in 2004. I was fortunate enough to find a church that was caring, and I even told them about my SA, but the problem was that there was nobody my age there.

I tried to go to another church, but I end up going in late and leaving early so I won't have to talk to people. It's like I have faith, just not in other people.

 

[Thumbelina]

I don't go to church often because I just can't be bothered, not because of my SA. Although when I do go I really hate the part where you're supposed to shake everyone's hand and say "Peace".

 

[brokenlight]

I get nervous at church too. Sometimes I don't go, or end up leaving early. A couple of weeks ago the usher asked me to bring the gifts up during mass. I declined, but still felt shaky for a while afterwards. Just the thought of it was making me panic.

 

[Amocholes]

I'm planning on going to church this morning. I guess I'll see how it goes.