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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Lately I have tried online dating which seemed the easiest way to meet a single man in his 30's. I have met a few men and they initially seemed to like me but it appears that I look more like the girl next door than a hot babe so nothing more happens. This does bug me because I just want to meet a man and see if I have the chemistry. It's always hard through texting or emails as you don't know if the spark will be there in person. But I can't seem to get past the texting/emailing stage based on my looks. It wouldn't upset me so much if I hated my looks but I look in the mirror and think I look fine. It's not even as though I am looking for someone based on looks. A lot of the men that I fall for are average looking but have the special quality that makes them attractive.

I do come across men that I have a lot in common with but they are usually dating someone else or engaged.
 

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AwesomeSauce
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Hmm, well I think the important thing is to keep trying! You never know if you might miss that special person if you give up ya know?

I met my bf online, and after internet dating him for a year, I moved halfway across the country to live with him, so it's definitely possible! I didn't even meet him on a dating site actually, we met each other on a blogging website and hit it off immediately. Love is out there, sometimes in the most unexpected places :,)

And trust me, when you know, you know. You'll just have to keep going through people who aren't interested until you find that one person who you click with. I personally feel that you can tell right away if you and someone are hitting it off.

Haha I feel like I'm rambling, but I hope your search goes well! Just be yourself and I'm sure you'll find someone who absolutely adores you :)
 

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waiting to bloom
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I never gave it a serious try. That being said, I think online dating has an advantage in that you don't have to guess whether someone is single or not.
 

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Patron St. of Mediocrity
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Online dating is a huge gammble. I think that catfishing is a huge problem recently, and that someone could get seriously hurt falling into the trap. On the other hand, you could have good luck and find that certain someone.

Just about like real life.
 

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Frustrated
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If it's a free site like POF, then chances are the people you're interested in are getting messages from lots of other people too. So for example, you might be looking at a 1 in 5 chance that you're the pick of the bunch.

If you're not one of the truly gorgeous people in society, and you don't have an interesting enough life (possibly due to SA), then real success on these sites is hard to accomplish. Unless of course, you try and find people who may be damaged like you are.
 

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No, I get ignored mostly. Or sometimes people will talk to me then just suddenly stop and completely ignore me. I've pretty much given up on it lol.
 

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It has not worked for me. I'm not attracted to most of the guys who send me messages. Then of the few times where I got a message form someone I thought was cute and didn't seem like too much of a weirdo....they lost interest after a couple dates.
 

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I know that feel bro....=[
Yeah it sucks. I find I get to emotionally attached to people on dating sites, and forget that they don't have SA, and probably have different standards/expectations. I met one girl and we talked for a good 3-4 hours online, and had tons in common. Thought it went really well then she decided to never message me again and completely ignore me lol. It may sound pathetic but I still check a few times a day to see if she has messaged me... been like 3 weeks....
 

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Escape Artist
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When i was younger I met a few girls on sites like that and on video games I was playing etc... IMO you get more options so I suppose in that way you have better odds... but not really because most people on those sites will make stuff up anyway.

only met a small few of these people in real life and it never lasted more than a few weeks but TBH i don't find that much different than real life dating... most people aren't gonna get you the way you want them to.

In your case, maybe you're running into a lot of those guys who think they are players and got like 5 girls going at once on those sites... there are TONS of people who fit that description not just men either.
 

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The internet is vast, and teeming with life from every part of the world. Even with that being said, I don't think that it is a very good place to build relationships with other people.

Don't get me wrong, cyber relationships can be really good for people with SA, they can be fun and allow you to feel connected to whoever you're talking to without as much of the nagging anxiety, but I feel as though there is a much higher chance of getting emotionally injured from online relationships.

The guise of anonymity can fuel lies and deceit that some will spoon feed to you over the web. A car salesman doesn't just need to be good at forming convincing sentences, they also need to sound convincing to our ears, the internet makes it much much easier to trick even the most clever of us.

I feel strongly that people with SA are among the most sensitive of them all. The emotional pain that is unleashed after realizing that a person you thought you knew was actually someone else entirely could potentially scar someone permanently.

If you are going to pursue a relationship online, I urge you to be very careful and avoid major commitment unless you know for a fact that everything is as it should be.
 
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