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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Haha. I'm trying online dating at a couple of free sites. I'm trying to be as honest as possible. I keep getting e-mail from dudes with criminal histories when I google them or really old guys in their late forties who don't sound like they even read my ad. Otherwise obnoxious e-mail saying that no one would ever want to date me because I "don't smoke pot & don't want to be around it ,I "sound sexually uptight and frigid in bed" and that I'd" lambast anyone who wanted to do anything exciting".


I'm single, 26, and I live in _____. I'm the nonathletic sort that has weight to lose. I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I am very 420 unfriendly. I'm not religious. I have no interest in ever having children or being responsible for someone elses. I don't want to ever get married however I am interested in having a long term committed relationship with the right person. I like a wide variety of music. A couple of quirks of mine are that I don't have tv and I don't watch tv. I don't particularly read a lot either, unless its stuff that I read online. My other time is spent working or spending time with family.

I'm straight laced, cautious, and I'm definately not into the idea of booty call or "sexual fun". I posted here because I'm interested in finding people actually looking for a relationship or in finding new friends, quality over quantity. If you're married, seperated, or otherwise in a relationship even if you don't know where its headed, please don't bother responding to this post. Same if you have a criminal record or are into drugs. And in case you didn't get it, I have absolutely no interest in ____ shots. In fact, its not even necessary to send me a pic because I don't have any to share with you.
 

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You say you don't drink, don't smoke, 420 unfriendly, not religious, not interested in children, don't want to get married, don't have a TV, don't watch TV, don't read, not interested in 'sexual fun'... Whoa whoa whoa. A profile is about what you DO want. Not what you DON'T want.

The whole thing is pretty negative. You should put a positive spin on it. Examples of things you could change:

"nonathletic sort that has weight to lose" - sounds negative
--- "there's more of me to love" - same message, but a little more positive sounding

"I'm straight laced, cautious, and I'm definately not into the idea of booty call or "sexual fun"."
--- "I can be shy upon first meeting people and like to take things slowly"

"If you're married, seperated, or otherwise in a relationship even if you don't know where its headed, please don't bother responding to this post."
--- "I'm looking for a guy who's (insert your desired traits here)"

"Same if you have a criminal record or are into drugs. And in case you didn't get it, I have absolutely no interest in ____ shots."
--- Just get rid of this altogether.

Refrain from using "don't" "didn't" and other negative words. Do that, and you'll find stuff comes out a little more positive automatically (and it'll sound that way to the person reading it).

Things to expand on (just based on what you wrote) - what kind of music you like, what artists, etc. Do you go to concerts?.. You read online - what do you read? You spend time working - what do you do? And with family - do you do anything? go anywhere with them? how big is your family? etc.

Oh and if you want real responses, it would be wise to include a couple pictures (not just one - a couple). Males are visual creatures. No pic = click to next profile.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the input guys. I think I could actually make a humorous fake ad outta this one if I altered it a bit more and made it seem more outlandish and more negative. I'm not out to do that though. Sounding more positive will help. I had this posted on craigslist which influenced how I worded things a lot. I took it down though. Maybe I can alter this and go on another site sometime in the future.
 

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Just lurking gives good advice.

A lot of things can always be mentioned once contact has been made. Not meaning meeting in person but phone, e-mail, whatever. You have to start with people being interested and actually contacting you and then you can narrow it down from there by sharing some of those things and asking questions.
 

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I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. I'm looking for someone who feels the same way in regards to this.

I have no interest in ever having children or being responsible for someone elses. Ouch!
This sounds way too negative.

I love kids, but I'm not interested in having any of my own.

I'm interested in being in a committed relationship, not casual sexual encounters.

How do you know that you never want to get married? You could meet the right person and change your mind.

And in case you didn't get it, I have absolutely no interest in ____ shots. In fact, its not even necessary to send me a pic because I don't have any to share with you. (Don't include any of this). From my experience, people are going to want to see pics. Be sure that you take some nice ones before you submit your profile (just so that you can send it to them privately).
 

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You need to make your ad like you sound fun and happy. Don't get wrapped around the criteria of what you want on the date, it makes you sound uptight. Rather, write about yourself and what you enjoy in a way that's positive and sounds pleasing.
 

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And in case you didn't get it, I have absolutely no interest in ____ shots.
lol. i get a kick out of those m4w ads on craigslist. it makes me wonder what goes through those guys minds? hmmm......lets see, she seems like a really nice girl. i bet if i show her a picture of my junk i'll win her over. :lol
 

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I have to say that it's not an appealing ad. You talk about stuff that no one needs or wants to read in an introductory personal ad, such as religion. Just because some people e-mailed you with things you find objectionable doesn't mean you have to have a scornful attitude towards anyone who might be reading your ad.

I have considered trying online dating as well and would be clear that I'm a shy person. I think as people with personal problems, we have to be clear in a personal ad that we're a little bit out of the mainstream, especially if we're looking for people who are the same. But don't go overboard. Couch it in positive language.
 

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A shy / more sensitive guy (if that's what you're going for) will probably be put off more by the direct tone than anything else. I sort of find the negativity humorous, but spelling out all the rules and regulations (although I understand the reasons), would make me feel like this may be too much trouble; even if I fit all the criteria.
 

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I wouldn't take out all the negative stuff and "more of me to love" is a cheesy overused line that turns off many people. I'd probably leave the less athletic comment, avoid the weight comment, and then put what you are interested in doing. If your not interested in high energy activities or working out then what do you like? I found trying to write a profile that appeals to everyone and gets the most responses is actually a bad way to go. You get lots of responses you don't want. It's fine to leave a few things in there you don't like or don't want just so long as you balance it. You're more likely to find someone you get along with even if it gets you a few less responses. Aside from the athletic comment I might leave in that you don't want marriage or kids but word it a little softer. I generally use sites that have check boxes for whether you want such things so I've never had to put it in a profile but I would probably just say "I believe in committed long term relationships but not marriage and I don't plan to ever have kids". Then maybe a comment about wanting someone that was interested in a serious relationship and not one night stands or on okcupid.com they are called "casual encounters".

Here's my okcupid profile http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sham200/. You can put a lot more in it when you have multiple boxes instead of cramming things into one paragraph for an ad and like I said there are check boxes for things like kids and marriage which you can view on the side of people's profiles so it makes it easier to get more info out there. I would probably never use craigslist personally. Okcupid has worked best for me and I'm pretty much living with a guy I met on there but if done right some other sites like plenty of fish aren't too bad. POF tends to get even more guys just looking for sex than alot of other dating sites though. Still probably less of them and less creepy older stalkers than craigslist. I did start to get a bit frustrated with some of the messages I was getting on okcupid which is why my message me if section started to get a little strong.
 
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