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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i know a lot of us may already feel weak, humble, unconfident whatever, but there's also a whole lot of resentment, and anger that goes along with those feelings. I know I'm guilty of it. I used to have a major issue with anger. still do, it's much more manageable to a degree now. If things don't go a certain way, I get angry and think x, y and z sucks...its worthless or worse, I'm worthless. I was wondering though if we walked into situations being okay with feeling outcasted, ignored, bottom of the class would things be better as there's less pressure and expectations placed on ourselves. I might not walk into things confident but expecting to be ignored, and perform below average never feels acceptable to me. I secretly hope for the opposite, and get frustrated when that doesn't happen. I'm wondering if we were to let go of expectations...such as nailing every interview, making top 20% in class, make great first/second/third/fourth/fifth impressions, would we be less wounded up. That's not to say we shouldn't try, but to be truly humble and just learn from our mistakes, however numerous they might be might be enough......

then again, a lot of this is easier said than done
 

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I don't think lowering expectations is the right course of action. Instead you need to learn how to move on from your mistakes. Once the interview is done, you can't go back in time and redo it. There is therefore no point in stressing about it. Its the same with tests.
 

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I am very humble in social situations as I am very shy. I think the phonies of the world (most everyone) see this as a sign of weakness. Lowering my expectations would almost feel like giving-up to me. And while my expectations are low, I hang on to some glimmer of hope that the next time will be different. I think if I didn't, I would never leave the house.
 

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Being humble is such a great personality trait, but not one that is often acknowledged by other people, sadly. Our world, or at least North America, tends to reward arrogance first. As for how it pertains to SA, I don't think it's necessarily good or bad. Some people will (falsely) perceive your modesty as weakness and other more observant people will rightly respect you for it. The same goes for arrogance, really. No matter what kind of personality you have, it's never going to be perceived the same by everyone, and because of this your SA will go through moments of both highs and lows.

I don't know if I'm making any sense here.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I think I know what you mean Thrash, Huk Pin I personally hate being humble and prefer to walk in like i have the biggest c0ck in the room. Unfortunately, after going through a year in my current program for my 2nd degree, i noticed it doesn't work very well for me. I go in with high expectations, keep my armor up and act like certain things aren't good enough. Sometimes it's true and sometimes it's more of an act. Lately I've been getting knocked down. I'm not loud but become reactive when slighted, and bc I'm so sensitive everything feels like a slight. I notice when I go into a situation with less pride, things are easier. I don't feel great about myself but it's easier to move forward. let go. I dunno, I guess I'd like to find a balance between "appropriately" sucking it up, and feeling like crp.

i guess a decent analogy would be interviewing..as someone w. sa, im horrible with interviews so I know I have to go through at least 6 or 5 bad ones before I land a job after graduation. It's happened before, and trust me, I feel like complete feces but if I don't how else am I going to support myself....so question is how much crp can/should one take to get on with the world.....
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I'm almost certain lady gaga had to take a ton of cr8p to get to where she is today. I don't imagine her throwing a fit pre-gaga everytime someone said next, we already have marilyn mason
 

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Thrash is spot on. Some cultures idealize humility, but Western society and especially the US does not. Here, the humble guy only wins in the movies.

Personally, I've tried the self-promoting act and was absolutely repulsed by it. I think a good percentage of arrogant people must be delusional egoists whose parents and teachers all told them they were a beautiful snowflake too much. In other words, they truly believe that they are special and better than everyone else. And I think you have to believe it for it to truly work.

So if you are humble, don't bother trying not to be because it won't really work anyways. Also best not to go into social situations with any expectations whatsoever.
 
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