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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Profanity is related to using profane language. It can be a word, expression, gesture, or other social behavior which is socially constructed or interpreted as insulting, rude, or vulgar.

Other words commonly used to describe profane language include: cuss, curse, derogatory language, swearing, expletive, oath, bad word, dirty word, strong language, irreverent language, obscene language, and blasphemous language.

I have always wondered if saying bad language is something that only increases anxiety, or "lets off steam."

I have heard, from a former door-to-door sales job I worked at, that if you want to shake off the negatives, then you say "flock" (of geese) really loudly and you should feel better.

Also, calling people pieces of "sheet" (as you find on a bed) keeps poisonous hate from reaching a breaking point inside of my mentality.

For example, if all of these people that perform these tragic acts after years and years of being unable to really express their frustration, anger, and hate in smaller, less violent ways, and "go postal" on a bunch of innocent bystanders, I suppose that the approach of just holding anger in is not the best. Also, I doubt that one can carry around an entire workout gym on which to vent their frustration for every time they get angry when out in public surrounded by annoying people.

But on the other hand, does using profanity actually make one angrier as a result? Has anyone experienced a time when they were so frustrated that they said "mutter flocker," (speaking under your breath, and someone who makes flocks of geese) "ditch" (as you find on the shoulder of a road) and "as hull" (similar to the hull of a seafaring vessel) and just wanted to get angrier and more frustrated?

I am not sure if this is the case, but I DO know of some influential people that have said that profanity helps decrease anxiety.

"Many a man's profanity has saved him from a nervous breakdown." ~ Henry S. Haskins

"Cursing is invoking the assistance of a spirit to help you inflict suffering. Swearing on the other hand, is invoking, only the witness of a spirit to an statement you wish to make." ~ John Ruskin

"When angry count four; when very angry, swear." ~ Mark Twain

"The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way." - Mark Twain

"There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that." ~ Mark Twain

"Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." ~ Mark Twain

"Let us swear while we may, for in Heaven it will not be allowed." ~ Mark Twain

I am guessing that Mark Twain was an idiot for giving us this advice eh?

On the other hand, there is positive self-talk that can be appealing to a majority of people. For example, when you are angry, instead of saying something bad, look into what is making you angry and say something positive about yourself, or the other person instead. "I am a patient individual. I am a strong person. I am a valuable part of this world. I am smart."

I wonder if this works for everyone for as often as they get angry? If someone gets angry at least forty to fifty times a day, repetitive self-positive talk may get a little old, especially if it doesn't work as well as they would like it to work. Would everyone have the patience of being self-positive if there are an unending number of triggers to our anger? I think the best method, in this case, would be to stay away from most people who triggers this anger, constantly try to talk self-positive, and after a lot of practice, then venture out into the public arena. I wonder readiness to venture into the cruel world would not take years upon years though.

I wanted to address both sides in order to be balanced in this topic.

These former issues are some things to think about.

More resources:

http://homepage.smc.edu/larsen_lyle/mark_twain_and_the_art_of_sweari.htm

http://www.twainquotes.com/Profanity.html

http://www.twainquotes.com/18640909c.html

http://www.essays.se/essay/8134e30e13/
 

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Good post,

I feel that using obscene language in the presence of others makes me look uneducated and immature. I use to have a foul mouth when I was younger and learned to keep it at bay, I think having kids was the turning point actually. Today I try to stay as positive as I can, I liked to think of the quote,

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes." -- Mahatma Gandhi

And if I stand around screaming cuss words into the skies what type of person and I believing myself to be?

To sum it up, bad words are negative, you can find much more positive ways to deal with anger and frustration! :)
 

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Yeah, I would agree and say that it makes SA worse since it increases stress for the most part. First of all, I think profanity has a narrower definition than the one you have, but even if we l don't limit profanity to words that are vulgar and crude, any insult really can increase stress.

If it's done out of anger, then any word, regardless of whether it can be censored on radio will cause anxiety. You could call someone a doddering sycophant, and technically I guess it's not cussing someone out, but it's still an insult.

But the point of any insult especially cuss words is to have a strong impact, but it I don't think it just impacts the person who it's directed to, but the person uttering the word. Cuss words are like verbal hitting. And while impact of "screwed" vs. ****ed, for example, might be different, the emotional impact on the person saying the word is still pretty strong. It's jarring, but it's a matter of degree I guess. One word will cause a lot of stress and the other will cause less stress.

This type of "letting off steam" (yelling, or cussing) I think just actually inflames anger and creates a stress response in your body: raises stress hormones like cortisol? adrenaline, and causes inflammation, and other bad things.

I mean conceivably, if you were raised a certain way where cuss words were an everyday thing, or you have a really good sense of humor when saying them, then yeah maybe the can reduce stress. But the meaning of a bad word is bound to have a negative psychological impact. And ultimately, I think it's hard to remove even the emotional impact of the aural quality of a words, the alliteration, dissonance, percussiveness, fluidity, and the play between the consonants and vowels that gives words their emotional impact and their meaning in the first place. In other words, just the way a word sounds can be rough or ugly. There's a reason the "f" word means what it means, or why "war" means war, or "love" means love. Love kinda sounds nice. The "f" word does not. Just pronouncing the "f" word it is literally percussive and abrasive. I mean, even making certain sounds could cause stress I bet, so yeah cussing heightens stress in my opinion.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I agree that the amount and frequency of the foul language determines the level of immaturity typically found in the user.

If the use of foul words is rare and used only in extreme expression of anger, then I think that the degree of control is at an imperfect but believable level of control.

No person is God and we all make mistakes at some level. In addition, I think that those who are hypersensitive have to find a method of coping that isn't destructive when they feel emotionally assaulted at every turn.

Usually exercise and keeping to myself, also an upbringing that developed respect and honor for myself and others helped me keep my language clean. On the other hand, going through periods of abuse and disrespect by those who were cruel and mean while not having the ability to discern a person who can be deceptive in his behavior (seem nice and exciting and honorable) can turn out pretty bad in the end.

I think a superiority complex can be created on many different levels. I have a better car than this person. I go to church three times a week. I make more money than this person. I am taller than this person. I have better hygiene than this person. I am more articulate than this person. I have cleaner language than this person.

If a person doesn't do something for their own development and evolution as a human being, and is always trying to "one-up" someone else and judge someone because of their own insecurity (or lack of taking responsibility), then I think that the world will continue to be divided against itself without a chance for ultimate synergy and oneness.
 

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BTW I actually like it when people say cuss words (I'm a twisted individual) :b. Like movies or friends who cuss a lot crack me up. Also I think some words like the "sh" word can be cathartic. Still for the most part, I think doing the cussing raises stress.

edit:I removed link to Youtube video (not sure it's not against the rule), but it was silent bob strikes back compilation :b

This cracked me up. :b hahaha
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Yeah, I would agree and say that it makes SA worse since it increases stress for the most part. First of all, I think profanity has a narrower definition than the one you have, but even if we l don't limit profanity to words that are vulgar and crude, any insult really can increase stress.

If it's done out of anger, then any word, regardless of whether it can be censored on radio will cause anxiety. You could call someone a doddering sycophant, and technically I guess it's not cussing someone out, but it's still an insult.

But the point of any insult especially cuss words is to have a strong impact, but it I don't think it just impacts the person who it's directed to, but the person uttering the word. Cuss words are like verbal hitting. And while impact of "screwed" vs. ****ed, for example, might be different, the emotional impact on the person saying the word is still pretty strong. It's jarring, but it's a matter of degree I guess. One word will cause a lot of stress and the other will cause less stress.

This type of "letting off steam" (yelling, or cussing) I think just actually inflames anger and creates a stress response in your body: raises stress hormones like cortisol? adrenaline, and causes inflammation, and other bad things.

I mean conceivably, if you were raised a certain way where cuss words were an everyday thing, or you have a really good sense of humor when saying them, then yeah maybe the can reduce stress. But the meaning of a bad word is bound to have a negative psychological impact. And ultimately, I think it's hard to remove even the emotional impact of the aural quality of a words, the alliteration, dissonance, percussiveness, fluidity, and the play between the consonants and vowels that gives words their emotional impact and their meaning in the first place. In other words, just the way a word sounds can be rough or ugly. There's a reason the "f" word means what it means, or why "war" means war, or "love" means love. Love kinda sounds nice. The "f" word does not. Just pronouncing the "f" word it is literally percussive and abrasive. I mean, even making certain sounds could cause stress I bet, so yeah cussing heightens stress in my opinion.
The thing that stuck out to me, in your post, was the fact that ANY word spoken in a negative manner can be viewed as negative. If you say to someone, "You look great" in an angry tone, that person can think that looking great is a bad thing. On the other hand, if you look at someone in the eyes, smile and say, "You are the worst looking person I have ever seen" then I think that certain people would think that looking bad is a good thing.

How about if someone says any of these things in a monotone manner? If a robot looking exactly like a human said these things it would almost have the effect of a comedian, or be boring to some people, because how foreign it would be to the listener to hear something without emotion.

In the end, regardless of what is said, if it is said in an angry tone, then it should be censored. At least this is what it seems like in the world today.

Another issue would be truly evil people using charm, happiness, and high energy to set someone up to be slandered, ruined, and even murdered. Many serial killers are your "guy/girl next door." Life on this earth is such a paradox in good/bad ways.
 

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Well yes any word said in anger can be taken negatively. (And if it's said in anger, and you have good emotional IQ, it should be taken as such I suppose.) Anger increases anxiety I would say.

And words in general have inherent meaning, so it gets complicated when using a different tone of voice. Very hard to discern intent I would think. What if someone smiled and said in a very nice tone of voice "I can't stand you. You make me sick. **** you and have a nice day." :D

Damn. A friend being funny? Maybe. A cashier you've never seen before? I mean the nakedness of the aggression could still be funny--I guess. Definitely funny as a movie scene :b So tone of voice definitely has an impact.

I have always wondered if saying bad language is something that only increases anxiety, or "lets off steam."
As far as saying cuss words (as opposed to hearing them), I think it increases anxiety. Some cuss words are inherently abrasive and caustic in every sense really.

edit: I do know two friends though who are a couple and they refer to each other so lovingly and sweetly as ***hole. hmmm..
 

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To me words are just words, its how you choose to understand them. Example: fa*got in North America is usually a pejorative term for gays. In other places its means a bundle of sticks and/or branches bound together. To me swearing does not make a person look immature or uneducated. And I think profanity needs to be used in politics. To answer your question, it doesn't do anything.
 

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using bad language can be a good or bad thing...depending on how one uses it. if i bite my tongue by accident and i say "f-ing peace of sh**", all i'm doing is building hate towards things i cannot control. if i were to do that on a regular bassis, eventually that hate will build up and i would end up mad every time an accident occurred or over little things. plus, being mad for no reason clouds the mind. so..this is an example why it would be bad. another reason cursing is bad is when used to put people down. i avoid this religiously because i know how devastating bad language can be to people.

now...i can look at where it would be a good thing..hmmm..i need to be clear about this because it may be misinterpreted (most likely it will) but i speak from experience. it involves controlled anger accompanied by bad words. it involves getting angry for a REASON. it needs to be done with the intent of helping and not hurting. i can use my ex as an example. she used to be real shy, scared of her dad, (he used to put her down all the time), had low self esteem, and other things. this is what she told me when we where together "you can sleep around with girls and i won't leave you". so..since i liked this girl i tried to help her. first i tried with words but that didn't work. no matter all the advice i would give in the world, it would not inspire her to change. so i decided to start to argue with her and get her mad on purpose to try to get a reaction out of her. yes, i would even use bad words. hmm..i can remember one occasion i said something along these lines "you will never change, you are pathetic and stupid...you are scared of everything..you will never change and remain the way you are for the rest of your life...you think you are the only one going through this sorry a** sh**?...stop being a f-ing baby...stop making people feel sorry for your lame a**"..lol..i knew what i was doing, she was mad in love with me. the reaction was what i was expecting...her getting mad, cussing me out, and crying like a wolf. the next day i would apologize telling her i was just speaking out of anger...basically to make up. yara yara...to make it short... she ended up fighting for herself... her low self esteem went up... she got into a good college... she stood up to her dad... she seemed more control of her life. then she was telling me i wasn't doing anything with my life..and not being understanding so i ditched her *sigh*. point is...anger with bad words can make people get whats on their chest out with out giving a "funk". anger surpasses SA.
 

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I grew up around a brother who swore 24/7, and I never wanted to be like him, so I swore very little growing up. Now that I feel like he is not controlling me anymore, swearing is kind of liberating for me.

Although I need to stop, because I do think it makes me sound stupid lol
 

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Speaking for myself, it would probably make it worse. It only escalates any tension and raises the anxiety. This is just for cursing out of anger though.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
using bad language can be a good or bad thing...depending on how one uses it. if i bite my tongue by accident and i say "f-ing peace of sh**", all i'm doing is building hate towards things i cannot control. if i were to do that on a regular bassis, eventually that hate will build up and i would end up mad every time an accident occurred or over little things. plus, being mad for no reason clouds the mind. so..this is an example why it would be bad. another reason cursing is bad is when used to put people down. i avoid this religiously because i know how devastating bad language can be to people.

now...i can look at where it would be a good thing..hmmm..i need to be clear about this because it may be misinterpreted (most likely it will) but i speak from experience. it involves controlled anger accompanied by bad words. it involves getting angry for a REASON. it needs to be done with the intent of helping and not hurting. i can use my ex as an example. she used to be real shy, scared of her dad, (he used to put her down all the time), had low self esteem, and other things. this is what she told me when we where together "you can sleep around with girls and i won't leave you". so..since i liked this girl i tried to help her. first i tried with words but that didn't work. no matter all the advice i would give in the world, it would not inspire her to change. so i decided to start to argue with her and get her mad on purpose to try to get a reaction out of her. yes, i would even use bad words. hmm..i can remember one occasion i said something along these lines "you will never change, you are pathetic and stupid...you are scared of everything..you will never change and remain the way you are for the rest of your life...you think you are the only one going through this sorry a** sh**?...stop being a f-ing baby...stop making people feel sorry for your lame a**"..lol..i knew what i was doing, she was mad in love with me. the reaction was what i was expecting...her getting mad, cussing me out, and crying like a wolf. the next day i would apologize telling her i was just speaking out of anger...basically to make up. yara yara...to make it short... she ended up fighting for herself... her low self esteem went up... she got into a good college... she stood up to her dad... she seemed more control of her life. then she was telling me i wasn't doing anything with my life..and not being understanding so i ditched her *sigh*. point is...anger with bad words can make people get whats on their chest out with out giving a "funk". anger surpasses SA.
So, you just happened to speak some cuss words as you were angry and she took control of her life just like that? Sounds like someone getting angry at himself and pushing himself out of a rut is a good thing in this case. I was waiting for someone to use this in this manner because one can get mad at the self for being so lazy, scared, and pathetic, use the anger in an aggressive yet legal, and respectful manner (in regards to others) and really get a lot accomplished.
 

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it actually took some time, i think a year or two. plus, it took a couple, or should say, lots of me getting her angry. the change didn't happened over night.

the anger and cuss words awake something out of the person that makes then forget (even for a brief moment) everything else but the getting mad for being called names in an angry manner. the reaction makes them get whatever is in their chest out. makes them speak up and defend their rights. makes them stand up for themselves. it awakes this adrenaline that, somehow, seems to help the quiet and shy people. it makes them do things that otherwise wouldn't.

example her getting scared of ordering food in drive through:

before:

her: OMG, i'm scared to other food at the drive through.
me: WTF are you scared of is not like they are going to kill you.
her: shut up, you don't understand me.
me: you shut up, you're the one who doesn't understand me, just f-ing order the food.
her: NO! i don't want to, i can't order the food right.
me: WTF, are you stupid?
her: HELL NO!
me: fine then don't f-ing eat, leave.
her: but i'm hungry!
me: then order the f-ing food already DAM!..what do you want to order?
her: i want a blah blah blah with blah blah blah..and a side order of yara yara..
me: well "funk" just repeat what you just told me. what's the f-ing big deal stop being a damn baby.
her: i'm not a baby you don't understand me.
me: you told me that sh1t already..i'm hanging up.
her: ok ok i'll order damn i cannot believe you are making me do this.
me: just order already.
her: fine.

after:

her: hey babe.
me: was up.
her: wha-chu-doing!
me: watching tv, you?
her: i'm in lunch time, i'm soooo hungry.
me: ok,
her: hold on babe..i'm in the drive through....[her ordering food] yes can i get blah blah blah..and yara yara.
me: cool
her: guess what happened to me at work?
etc..etc..

as the example shows, she completely forgot about her fear of ordering food. so i used anger and bad words. it's hard to explain. all i know is this controlled anger helps, some how, over power fears.

ofcourse that's the old me (before SA) but i think it's still way back in the closet.

again, it took more then one time for it to take effect.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I suppose that it is like a military kind of approach filled with control and firmness and sternness all rolled into one. You won't see a drill sergeant saying, "Excuse me. Recruits? Could you all, like, get up now? It is time to do the morning drills. Also, if you could wake up your neighbor who is oversleeping then I would greatly appreciate it, m'kay? See you fellows outside! Tah-tah!"

I am thinking that it is more like "Get the %[email protected]#^%^ up you mother$#@!$#@%$ maggots! It's time to do some $#@$#@$#@ drills and if I catch one of you in the $#@$#@ bed sleeping like a little $#$#@@$ I will put my foot so far up your $#$#[email protected]$!#@ that you will have to turn your head and cough to tie your shoes! MOVE MOVE MOVE YOU LITTLE $#@@!$#@!%#@!%!!!!"

I am just guessing on this though.

We always hear of people wanting some structure and discipline for their children and even for themselves. I don't think this can be achieved without first gaining respect, and gaining respect today takes a lot of firmness and sternness or people will walk all over you; especially kids. Therefore, it takes what most people think of as being "mean."

I think that this is why your gf actually liked it when you were like that with her because you were showing a backbone. Unfortunately, I think a lot of us are just weak, little gelatinous masses stuck on the bottom of a more assertive, forceful, and type-A personality's shoe.
 

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I suppose that it is like a military kind of approach filled with control and firmness and sternness all rolled into one. You won't see a drill sergeant saying, "Excuse me. Recruits? Could you all, like, get up now? It is time to do the morning drills. Also, if you could wake up your neighbor who is oversleeping then I would greatly appreciate it, m'kay? See you fellows outside! Tah-tah!"

I am thinking that it is more like "Get the %[email protected]#^%^ up you mother$#@!$#@%$ maggots! It's time to do some $#@$#@$#@ drills and if I catch one of you in the $#@$#@ bed sleeping like a little $#$#@@$ I will put my foot so far up your $#$#[email protected]$!#@ that you will have to turn your head and cough to tie your shoes! MOVE MOVE MOVE YOU LITTLE $#@@!$#@!%#@!%!!!!"

I am just guessing on this though.
i've never been in the military but i've seen sergeant on tv. so i guess it's some what like that but not crossing the line to were i would cause permanent damage (e.g. resentment, hate...).

We always hear of people wanting some structure and discipline for their children and even for themselves. I don't think this can be achieved without first gaining respect, and gaining respect today takes a lot of firmness and sternness or people will walk all over you; especially kids. Therefore, it takes what most people think of as being "mean."

I think that this is why your gf actually liked it when you were like that with her because you were showing a backbone. Unfortunately, I think a lot of us are just weak, little gelatinous masses stuck on the bottom of a more assertive, forceful, and type-A personality's shoe.
i totally agree with the first paragraph and second eccept i don't think she liked it but i guess since she loved me, she over locked it. i can't just get mad and cuss at people with out them giving me the finger.

all i know it worked. so it could possibly help someone with SA, but who is willing to go through all that trouble?.....no one.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
It takes a lot of energy to go against the grain in this day and age. We have to figure out if it is worth it every time the decision is to be made. This is probably why it is safer to just mind your own business rather than to try to impact the life of someone else. I think that people take this too far with all of the children out there with alienated parents. In my opinion, your family should deserve this effort and energy of investment into the things that matter; that don't sugarcoat ***t that needs to be spoken bluntly because it could save someone from a world of hurt.

I think your approach of investing this energy and effort into someone who was special to you was wise, but we don't give it to everyone. Ideally, each person would have someone special to them into whom they would invest this teaching and approach. Unfortunately, it isn't like this in the world.
 

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It takes a lot of energy to go against the grain in this day and age. We have to figure out if it is worth it every time the decision is to be made. This is probably why it is safer to just mind your own business rather than to try to impact the life of someone else. I think that people take this too far with all of the children out there with alienated parents. In my opinion, your family should deserve this effort and energy of investment into the things that matter; that don't sugarcoat ***t that needs to be spoken bluntly because it could save someone from a world of hurt.
truer words were never spoken. the dog whisperer tv show is a good example. they think something its wrong with their dogs while in reality it's the dog owners themselves. they treat their dogs too nicely (sugarcoat). they don't portray authority.

I think your approach of investing this energy and effort into someone who was special to you was wise, but we don't give it to everyone. Ideally, each person would have someone special to them into whom they would invest this teaching and approach. Unfortunately, it isn't like this in the world.
yes i guess i did a good thing by changing her in a way. but what i don't get is, after all that effort, after all those years, she told me "no one helped me change, i changed by myself". so the way i see it is... i helped her over come her fears, but my though and efforts of helping her didn't get acknowledge. so... either you are at the bottom, sort of speak, or you are at the top. so if you are at the top, why bother helping the ones at the bottom when they won't acknowledge it.

but yeah i think this method may work on people to over come SA.
 

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I have to admit, although it might be a little immature, I swear like a sailor around my friends (as do they). It does seem to help blow off some anxiety when you know that nobody is trying to control you or what you say.

Then again, I think part of it came from me growing up and my dad would always (hypocritically) cuss then turn to me and say "that's a bad word, you shouldn't say that like I just did."
 
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