Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
105 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my life of getting bullied began at 4th grade, at the time i couldnt afford the best clothes and had these big glasses that made me a target for bullying. well needless to say bullying continued throughout my life pretty much up until i moved away to a different city. once i started going to this new school i realized that the best way to avoid getting bullied was to not be seen, i would eat my lunch in the school bathroom, sit in the back of the class, pretty much anything to be ignored. i was comfortable that way as weird as it sounds. but there were always people who would come up to me and say something ignorant or hurtful for no reason. that always made me feel like there was something wrong with me physically. i didnt think that being quiet made me a target for bullying, i would always look at other shy ppl and think to myself they are shy does anyone say half of this **** to them. does anyone else feel this way, that they are treated based on how they look, i have had people tell me im a good looking guy, but i find it so hard to believe sometimes.
 

·
Haters to the left.
No alarms and no surprises
Joined
·
2,733 Posts
Yeah, I was bullied throughout elementary, middle, and high school for being shy, quiet, unfortunate-looking, geeky, fat, weird, smart etc you name it. Kids can be so cruel. People tell me I look good now, that they can't even recognize me (I guess that's a good thing, lol) but all those years of bullying stays with you, no matter what. I do think it plays a part in my sa.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,198 Posts
if i think back to my school years i can remember that i was bullied a lot in 4rth and 5th, maybe even 6th grade but not after that. somewhere along the line i became one of them because i remember being a bully myself. so, at least in my case, bullying didn't play a role in my SA. i didn't developed SA until i was in the 10th maybe 11th grade but not because i was bullied something else triggered it. i think i started growing a conscious around 10th grade because i can specifically remember stop being a bully and perverted (teen hormones) because i didn't want my sister to find out about it because if she did, she was going to tell my mom how i was and i didn't want her to know. heck, i use to spank my teacher in class in front of everyone :roll. so i think my SA was triggered when i stopped going out, as in not hanging out with friends. i remember making that decision (to not go out) so i would not get into any more fights. i use to get into a lot of fights, not really fights, more like arguments. people use to go to my house and scream for me to come out and fight. in those days i remember this particular occasion where i was being surrounded to fight this guy. the guy pulled out a knife on me so i had to only fight with words. things like that. so yeah, my SA started when i stopped going out. so in a way i over exaggerated by isolating myself too much. i traded one bad thing for another :no. ok i'm rambling...
 

·
Positively Revolting Hag
Joined
·
6,547 Posts
My SA is definitely from bullying, or more so indirect bullying. The kind where people talk behind your back, leave you out of things etc. Yet they still let you sit with them, even though you know that they really don't want you there.
Now it's really hard for me to feel comfortable and welcome in a group.
 

·
Chief Worrier
Joined
·
1,889 Posts
i've been bullied for as long as i've been in school. gossip, condescending comments, being ignoring, outright insults, harassment, etc. i think it's played a big part in my SA.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
12,147 Posts
Well, I don't think bullying ever helps with things like SA. I'm not sure it would normally be the root cause unless it was really extreme and very traumatic. I mean, it can be both of those things but bullying is often more subtle and irritating than outright violent or traumatic.

The kind of kids who bullied me when I was in school were very aggressive, violent types who just didn't care about anything or have any regard for anyone. They really scared the hell out of me because every day when I went home from school, I had to walk about a mile and a half on a gravel road from the bus to my house and all of my bullies lived on the same road as I did. That meant that whenever they decided to have their fun, there was literally nothing to stop them and no one could see them so I couldn't prove a thing.

However, I already had all of the symptoms of SA well before I ever met any of these kids. There's no way they caused my SA. They certainly made some aspects of it worse. It's really hard to ever trust another person after 5-10 of your peers gangs up on you and beats the crap out of you for no other reason than the fact that you're not like them. I'd say that whatever was left of my "faith" in the "basic goodness" of humanity was pretty much snuffed out by the various abuses I suffered at the hands of people like them. Trust is important and bullies can make you distrustful of other people because often, the bullying is done quite openly and nobody lifts a finger to stop it. Either that or they'll find reasons to blame the victim.

I think these were just your typical bullies looking for easy victims and they could see that I was quiet and very unlikely to be able to fight back or defend myself in any way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8 Posts
I was harassed incessantly about things in school.
In fact, last night i wrote a list of things that were shaming for me to take to my counselor this week...
But just being here, and seeing all of your wonderful responses...
I wish we all would have been in the same school...we would have been such good friends...
Maybe I have nothing to be ashamed for...maybe its the *******s from school who should be ashamed...
I am grateful for this site and all of you!

I don't know if bullying caused my SA. But it definitely reinforced it and made it stronger...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
103 Posts
I was bullied/teased from elementary school all the way to my sophomore year in high school. It was the worst in middle school. I was constantly teased and verbally abused by almost everyone in the school, and in all of my classes. People were making fun of my glasses, clothes, hair, teeth..etc. Sometimes in class I would actually have to scream at them in class and cause a scene.

I also remember seeing a school counselor during all of this. I was just miserable. This is definitely what caused my SA, because ever since then I have not been the same. I've lost a lot of my self-esteem, and I have a very hard time talking to people, and trusting them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,687 Posts
Yeah I was teased a little at school but I was on the receiving end of bullying in college and even more so in the workplace. I have been subjected to nasty comments, ignored and false rumours spread about me. This has affected my SA so much that I now see little point in trying to interact (unless I have to) with people in the workplace. I don't trust anyone because I don't want to go through that severe pain again. :hide
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
606 Posts
I wasn't bullied much in school, although there were the odd instances of it which I don't think many escape completely, but I was constantly bullied, humiliated etc. at home by my family. I'm quite certain this is the cause of my SA.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
768 Posts
I was verbally bullied from about 4th grade through high school. (and a little bit into college and the professional working world as well).

But I was bullied BECAUSE of my sa. I was an easy target. It didn't cause my sa, but it definetely made me much more cynical and created some trust issues. I don't seem to trust people much. It's sad, sometimes I catch myself feeling suspicious of complete strangers for no reason at all, other than maybe they 'look' like someone who might be critical of me or mean to me. But that's an irrational thought, because I'm usually wrong about my assumptions of people.

I feel like sa robbed me of the inherent trust that I 'should' have of everyone. I 'should' trust strangers until they show me otherwise. I hope one day I can get that back.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
631 Posts
The kid who shot up Virginia Tech a couple years ago was bullied and he stated thats why he did what he did. He had social anxiety disorder and other mental problems.
 
Joined
·
2,348 Posts
My SA is definitely from bullying, or more so indirect bullying. The kind where people talk behind your back, leave you out of things etc. Yet they still let you sit with them, even though you know that they really don't want you there.
Now it's really hard for me to feel comfortable and welcome in a group.
Yeeaahhh me too.

Kids could be so cruel.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
706 Posts
Difficult to say if it was the sole cause of my SA but it certainly played a part. After being told and made to think I was an absolute worthless piece of **** for a lot of years it obviously had a major impact on my self esteem and increased the fear of socialising.

Well, I don't think bullying ever helps with things like SA. I'm not sure it would normally be the root cause unless it was really extreme and very traumatic. I mean, it can be both of those things but bullying is often more subtle and irritating than outright violent or traumatic.
I'd generally disagree with that. Even a small amount of bullying can have a horrendous impact particularly if that person already has those fears of being humiliated or criticised.

The kid who shot up Virginia Tech a couple years ago was bullied and he stated thats why he did what he did. He had social anxiety disorder and other mental problems.
I suspect a lot of these shootings are caused, either directly or indirectly, by bullying. The two lads who shot up Columbine were said to have been bullied.
 

·
herp derp
Joined
·
2,347 Posts
The kid who shot up Virginia Tech a couple years ago was bullied and he stated thats why he did what he did. He had social anxiety disorder and other mental problems.
Maybe I'll sound twisted for saying this but I kind of feel sorry for the guy (as much as I feel sorry for the families of those affected by it) since he had social disorders just like many of us and plus, he had selective mutism as well which made him an incredibly easy target for bullies so in some ways, it's quite easy to see why he did what he did (not that I'm suggesting revenge in that sense is a good way to deal with things which it is NOT - shooting innocent people is never the way to deal with things - if he'd shot his bullies and they "deserved it" then that's another story altogether)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,875 Posts
Bullying was definitely a big contributor to my SA. Throughout elementary school, I was known as the class clown and was a fairly popular kid, if not seen as a little weird. But as soon as jr. high rolled around, I began to withdraw from my friends and everyone else due to the depression caused by the trouble at home and my sudden onset of acne. It was a jarring turn in my life and I pretty much stopped talking all together. All my peers were probably shocked by my turnaround in behavior and started thinking I was "crazy" And that was my whole public persona in high school, the "quiet psycho kid" Well, that and "zit face". I was never physically bullied, (kids were probably afraid I'd lash out and kill them lol) but verbally I was bashed by many people. It just pushed me further back into my shell until I began to resent the whole human race, practically. You know, the whole emo teen angst thing except taken to an extreme. I felt like an total outcast from society, like a leper who shouldn't be touched, or else you might catch my "psycho disease". Hah, kids can be really ridiculous.
 

·
HaloOfDarkness
Joined
·
608 Posts
Yeah I think that being bullied has alot to do with how we judge ourselves. It definitely does. For sure! My problem is that I remember everything like it was yesterday so the things people said to me that hurt me years ago hurt me just as much now when I think about it.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top